Category Archives: Dating in Asia

General discussion about white guys and Asian women

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This is what it’s like to be a white guy with an Asian fetish

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First of all, there needs to be a disclaimer (more of a warning actually) before I even begin this post. If you’re the kind of person who is easily offended about discussions of sexuality and / or kinky stuff, hit the back button on your browser or RSS feed right now! I’m going to get brutally honest and raw with this post (more than I ever have in the past) and it may be offensive to some. You have been warned.

I am a white guy with an Asian fetish

There. I said it. It took me a long time to have the courage to admit it, but the fact that I have an overwhelming desire to run home and masturbate after every encounter I have with an Asian woman is pretty much the definition “fetish“ I guess. And before you label me as a pervert who needs to be sent to a self help group (or an insane asylum), you have to know that I am a mature and contributing member of society – I have an amazing family, I run several businesses, and most people who I meet will tell you that I’m a really good guy who would do anything for anyone. And we all have a kinky side.

Yes, I do have a thing for Asian women. As I wrote on the About page, my fascination with Japanese and Korean women began back in 1996, right when the internet was becoming mainstream. That was the first time in my life that I had the opportunity to peek rather deeply into these amazing Far East countries, and well…it only took a few weeks before I was hanging out on Yahoo! Personals looking for an Asian girlfriend. “Akikio” was the first woman I met on Yahoo! in 1997. I wonder where she is now?

Anyway, I’m not going to lie – seeing Japanese porn for the first time in my life was the most erotic thing I had ever seen, and since there were no Asian women where I lived in the Midwestern US at the time, masturbating to Japanese internet porn became a daily activity.

Two years later I moved to California, where the Asian population in places (such as San Francisco) made my head spin. There were Asian women everywhere, and I literally felt like I had died and went to heaven!

Of course being shy and somewhat introverted severely limited the amount of relationships I was able to stumble into, and it was a fun 20 years of meeting women from all parts of Asia here in my own country. It ended up being the north eastern Asian girls that I was most attracted to – there was just something so mesmerizing about Japanese and Korean women that made me weak in the knees, and to this day, I’ve never been able to shake it.

I spent a lot of time on Japan Cupid and Korean Cupid looking for the love of my life, and I eventually found her in 2009. We married in 2010.

This is what my life is like now as a white guy with an Asian fetish

I’m 44 years old now, and even though I’ve been married to a Japanese woman for the past 8 years, my Asian fetish is as strong as it’s ever been. The weird thing is that my wife seems to be exempt from these lustful feelings – so it’s not like I’m chasing her around the house with those crazy weird pervert eyes (and an obnoxious erection), making her life miserable and uncomfortable.

I’ve been living with her for so long now that she’s just a “woman” to me – a human being just like me, with real thoughts and feelings, and she’s just trying to get on with her life in the most happy and productive way possible like we all are. I do not see her as a sex object. If anything, we’re just buddies who enjoy hanging out together, and I’m not ashamed to admit that sex isn’t even a thing anymore. And we’re both 100% okay with that.

As I said though, my fetish for Asian women is fierce. For example, we shop in Japanese grocery stores here in Southern California, and every time go in I can’t help but to pop an erection imagine how hot it would be to take that pretty mid 40’s cashier from behind and give her the best white-guy sex she’s ever had. Of course I’m not staring at her like a psycho or anything, and I’m even pretending to pay attention to my wife (like a good husband should) when she asks me if I want grapes or apples. But my mind is running wild with the thought of me and that cashier making mixed-race babies in the heat of sweaty passion over and over again. Ewww! Hey – I told you that this post was not for the sexually timid!

All the guys reading this post are saying “yeah, I totally get it”, while I imagine that most of the women are thinking that I’m a loose-canon loser pervert who needs to be locked up for good. To the guys, I give you a virtual high-five. To the ladies, well, I’m sorry to inform you that this is the way that EVERY guy on this planet thinks. Your boyfriend, husband, brother, father, grandfather – they ALL think about sex like this all the time whether they like to admit it or not, so don’t be so quick to judge me here.

All men have a sexual fantasy running through their brains at any given moment, and mine are primarily Asian-themed. Is that so wrong? We all have our turn-on’s and fetishes, and it just so happens that I’m not afraid to write about mine. Especially since I am the author of a blog which helps white men and Asian women get together.

I’ve never cheated on my wife (and I never will), but I do enjoy a good masturbation session fantasizing about the Asian women I encounter in my daily life. Is that so wrong? I’d like to think that most of these women would be flattered that a white guy like me was so intensely attracted to them anyway, so as long as I’m not bothering them, no harm no foul.

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How realistic is it for a white guy to have a relationship with a woman from Japan or Korea?

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I’ve already written loads of tips and tricks that white guys can use to meet Asian women (using Twitter and Instagram is the best way IMHO), and while that’s all nice and helpful, I get the following question a lot:

Just how realistic is it for a Caucasian guy from the US or Europe to meet and have real relationships with women from Korea and Japan?

You’ll note that I’m being very specific when I say “Japan” and “Korea”, because saying “Asia” instead is far too broad and would be difficult to give specific guidance in a single post such as this. I’ll talk about how easy (or difficult) it is for white men to meet women from other parts of Asia in future posts, but for now, let’s just focus on South Korea and Japan.

Is it *really* possible for white men to meet Japanese and Korean women?

Yes! I know this for a fact, and I believe it 100%, because if a nerdy white guy such as myself has been able to date Japanese and Korean women my entire life, anything is possible. And the fact that I’m married to a Japanese woman now is just the icing on the cake. I’m not going to lie when I say that it’s been a difficult and stressful road at times, but I’m living proof that such a thing is possible.

The most important thing you need to realize is that, just like with anything else in life, you need to set realistic expectations:

1. If you’re an overweight guy with bad teeth over the age of 30 (heck, even 25), you’ll have no chance hooking up those cutie J Pop and K pop girls you see all over Instagram

Face it – that’s life. However, there are literally hundreds of millions of attractive and single Japanese and Korean woman looking for a relationship (JapanCupid and KoreanCupid are good places to look). And they’re not just in Asia – check out my post outlining the best cities in the world to meet Asian women, and you’re likely to find that they are closer than you think.

2. You need to have a flexible temperament and be somewhat compassionate (more than you would be with a western woman)

Again, you need to face reality here – Japanese and Korean culture is pretty much the exact opposite of yours, and she is going to have problems at times accepting your western ways. You can’t get mad when she tells you that wearing shoes is off limits in the house. You can’t show a look of disgust when she asks you to fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper. Your decision to be in a relationship with a Japanese or Korean woman is a very big one (more than you think) and you need to have the personality for it.

3. A surprisingly large number of Japanese women are attracted to the “Harry Potter” type

This isn’t surprising considering how much the Japanese value simplicity and boyish charm in a relationship. As a matter of fact, you’ll have a much better chance meeting a Japanese woman if you look more like Harry Potter than Dwyane Johnson. Sorry, meatheads – no matter how charming you may be, Japanese women are (for the most part) not interested in body builders.

4. Results don’t happen overnight

Be prepared to be looking (and trying) for years, and if at first you don’t succeed, try again. Nobody ever said that dating Asian women was easy, but the good news is that dating websites such as JapanCupid and KoreanCupid makes the process of trying again and again very easy. It took me 5 years of trying before I ended up meeting my wife on JapanCupid, and even though I met a handful of others along the way (that didn’t work out) I’m still friends with some of them to this day.

You will also need to spread out your efforts a bit, with Instagram being one of the best social media platforms right now to meet other people. Be sure to check out my post which I outlined step by step instructions on how to meet Asian women with Instagram!

In conclusion

You know how the saying goes: anything is possible if you are determined enough to make it happen. It’s 100% guaranteed that you won’t meet the Korean or Japanese woman of your dreams if you don’t make enough of an effort, and it’s all up to you to make it a reality. And when it comes right down to it, this point is the most important of them all and it’s not even worth saying anything else.

The effort you put into this will directly affect the results you get, so get out there and make it happen – and as alway, be sure to report back and tell us your success story in the comments below to help inspire others!

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3 things white men need to know about having sex with a Japanese woman

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If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve already read my post about the things every white guy should not do to his Asian girlfriend. That post was more about general relationship things, not so much about the sexual side of the relationship. This one’s going to be a little bit different! If you’ve been waiting for me to expand a bit more sexually on that post that I wrote so long ago, this is your lucky day because I’m about to give you a detailed lesson ways to keep your Japanese girlfriend happy in bed.

I’ve been dating Japanese women for all of my adult life, and as a matter fact I have been married to a Japanese woman for the past 10 years. I am a Caucasian guy born and raised in the mid western United States, so it goes without saying that my wife and I share two completely different cultures and more often than not it’s a struggle trying to make compromises to keep each other happy. But we manage to do it and it’s been a very good relationship so far.

Believe it or not, the area which we seem to be on the same page the most is in the bedroom. It’s probably because there’s very little talking involved, so there’s no chance of either of us saying something that the other doesn’t understand because it’s culturally opposite to what we know. I’m telling you, Japanese and US culture is completely opposite from one another and I could write an entire post about the struggles my wife and I have your daily lives trying to mix the two. That a topic for another post, for now, let’s get back to the bedroom.

3 things every white guy must do to keep Japanese women happy in bed

1. Don’t be so aggressive

It goes without saying that most white guys grew up watching nothing but western pornography which consists of things like gang rape, anal, choking, and lots of slapping. Of course you’ll find all those kinds of things in Japanese porn as well, but it’s much harder to find and it’s definitely not mainstream. What I’m trying to say is that western sex culture and Japanese sex culture is completely opposite, and you’re not going to get very far if you grab your Japanese girlfriend by the arm with force and tell her (with an angry voice) that you’re going fuck the shit out of her.

Japanese sex is generally slower and more respectful of one another, which to me, can be just as hot (if not hotter) than aggressive intercourse. If you’re throwing her around and being overly forceful with her body, she’s not going to enjoy it and the chances of you getting the chance to be with her again will be slim to none.

2. Pheromones work with Japanese women

For those of you unfamiliar with pheromones, they are chemical scents that can trigger a response in members of the opposite sex. They are not drugs, and they are 100% natural and legal. From all the evidence that I have seen, they work. More interestingly, based on what I’ve heard, pheromones work with Japanese women particularly well.

I hadn’t even heard of pheromones while I was single and dating, it wasn’t until after I was married that I had first learned about how effective they are. I still have a lot of single friends (caucasian men) who are actively dating and swear by the use of pheromones.

And just to reiterate – NO, these are not date rape drugs. Pheromones are scents that you place on your own body (like cologne) which will naturally attract and stimulate the senses of those around you. They’ve been used for centuries by both men and women all over the world, and are proven to work. My single white guy friends say that they are essential tool to attract Japanese women, and I’m a bit bummed that I’m not single anymore. Because lord knows I needed all the help I could get…

3. Even though she says yes, she might be saying no

This is the biggest thing that I struggle with as a white man living with a Japanese woman. Japanese culture is so different from my own, and for me, saying no is something that I don’t even hesitate with and I’m not afraid to say it.

My wife on the other hand, is often afraid to say no and it stems directly from her Japanese culture. The Japanese are more respectful of one another than American’s are, and saying no is often seen as something very negative. That’s why I couldn’t believe it the first time we had sex and she said yes to everything that I asked her to do. It’s not like I was asking for a really kinky stuff or anything, but she’s very shy and timid in daily life, and she had no problem going with the flow and agreeing to anything that I suggested in bed.

Of course it wasn’t until about a year later (when I knew her personality in and out) that I knew that all of those “yes’s” mostly meant “no’s”. She was just being polite, and thinking back on it, I feel really bad for the things I asked her to do. The bottom line is to be respectful of her culture and to know that just because she says yes, doesn’t mean that she’s totally into it. The look on her face and/or the tension of her body should speak volumes, and if you’re not sure that she’s totally into whatever it is that you’re suggesting, just back off.

As a western guy who has dated Asian women his entire adult life, being with an Asian women is ironically one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever done in life. Women are very emotional creatures, and combine that with a culture that is very different from your Western culture, it can create some very difficult and awkward situations – situations that can be avoided if you just take the time to understand how to avoid them.

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The top five non-Asian cities for white men to meet Asian women

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I’ve been traveling all over the world for 20 years now, and I’ve seen quite a bit. From Asia to Europe to North America South America and everything in between, I think I’ve got a pretty good sense of what this world is like and what’s happening where. Now, I’m not saying that I am an expert in all things related to geography and the cultures of the world, but I have been around and I’d like to think that I’ve learned a thing or two from my extensive travels.

One the questions I get asked the most as a blogger who writes about relationships between white men and Asian women is:

What are the best cities in the world for white men to meet Asian women without going to Asia?

Well, I’ve got good news for you – I can think of several right off the top of my head that might surprise you, which I know for a fact is what all of you white men out there looking for a relationship with an Asian woman (and Asian women who are looking for a relationship with a white man) want to hear. It’s not always necessary to start your search in Asia!

The top five cities (not in Asia) for white men to meet Asian women

1. San Francisco

OK, I’ll totally admit that this was the obvious first choice, but it’s the first choice for a reason! The Asian population in San Francisco is the most dense in the US, and therefore it’s the place to be in the United States if you are a white man looking to meet an Asian woman without going online. Take a walk down any major street in the city of San Francisco, and if you were dropped there blindfolded without having any idea where you were at, chances are pretty good that you would guess “Asia”.

Not only does the city of San Francisco have one of the highest Asian populations in United States, it’s also one of the top destinations in the US for Asian tourists. Therefore, whereever you go in the city, you will see in nearly 1:1 ratio of Asian to Caucasian people. If you’re a white guy in the US who’s having it difficult to find a time or resources to go to Asia, San Francisco is your best bet by far.

2. Vancouver Canada

Now, I’ll fully admit that this one shocked me as well. I’ve always known that Canada as a whole is very popular with Asians (both as a place to live as well as a place to visit), mostly due to how easy it is to enter Canada compared to the United States. Asians looking for a North American experience find it much easier to enter Canada than they do to enter the US, so it’s no surprise that any major city in Canada is popular with Asian people.

However, thanks to being situated right along the West Coast, Vancouver is simply on another level. In a recent visit, I couldn’t believe the number of Asian people from all regions that I saw (Korea, Japan, China, Thailand, Philippines, etc.) – San Francisco is the only other city in the world I found that rivals Vancouver in terms of beautiful Asian women walking the streets and I’d recommend it to any white guy anywhere in the world.

3. Reykjavik, Iceland

Yup, I can totally hear you slapping your forehead in amazement, and I don’t blame you. You weren’t expecting Reykjavik as being a place to find beautiful Asian women walking the streets, were you? Now, I do need to clarify that “walking the streets” does not mean that there are Asian prostitutes on every street corner. What I mean is that Iceland is a very popular tourist destination for Asians, and you might be amazed with the density of Asian population here at any given time.

It was hard to put my finger on what Asian countries were the most represented in Reykjavik, but based on my brief experience there I would have to say that it was mostly Asians from Northern countries such as Japan and Korea. I guess it kind of makes sense because I can’t imagine people from southern Asian countries such as Thailand and Singapore wanting to visit a cold place. I’m sure it happens, but it’s probably not all that common.

4. London England

I’m not totally sure what it is about London that attracts Asian people so much, but every time I go there I’m just amazed at the number of Asian tourists I see up and down every street. I’ve also been told by some of my Asian women friends in the past that most Asian women find Harry Potter extremely attractive and that’s part of the lure of England.

London also happens to be the place where most Asians think of when want to experience a place where English is the primary language. At least that’s what I’ve been told. Of course I can be totally way off on that comment, but it seems to be something I’ve heard over and over again and I guess I’m believing it to be true. So – for all of you white guys in Europe looking for the highest population of Asian women closest to you, it’s definitely London.

5. Toronto Canada

Everything that I said about Vancouver just a few paragraphs above is the same for Toronto. As a whole, Canada seems to be the place where most Asians tend to end up in North America, and I’ve been told by several guys in Toronto that it’s a hotbed of activity and they have no problem meeting Asian women they’re attracted to.

As a fun experiment, next time you’re talking to an Asian woman, ask her about the last time that she has been in Toronto. Chances are really good that she’s been there before, and I’ve only met but a few Asian women who have never been to the place at all.

Final things to keep in mind about meeting Asian women in countries all over the world

I still fully believe that if you’re a white man looking to meet an Asian woman, your best bet is to go to Asia in the first place. Yes, it’s totally possible to meet Asian women (tourists and locals) in other parts of the world, but your chances will be much higher simply due to how to dense most of Asia is. And considering the fact that most all women there are Asian, well, it doesn’t take a rocket science to figure out that Asia is the place to be if you are a white guy with a preference for Asian women.

On the flipside, think how much of a good impression you can make on an Asian woman who is visiting a country for the first time and is looking for help from locals (like you) to learn the place and figure out what to see and do. Make an effort to be involved in activities which helps tourists such as these (as a tour guide or a participant in some other type of tourist business catering to Asians) and it won’t be long until you’ll be making new friends.

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How to get a steady stream of Instagram DM’s from Asian women

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I’ve been around long enough to remember when the internet was brand new, and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years, it’s the fact that apps and products come and go. What’s popular and trendy today likely won’t be 5 years from now, so it’s important to be able to adapt to the changes. It’s also important to exploit them for all their worth while things are hot!

Remember MySpace? It’s been dead for a long time, but back in the day, that’s where everybody was hanging out. You were a nobody if you didn’t have your own page covered in animations and multiple streams of music all auto-playing at once, you didn’t exist. And even though it’s no longer around here in 2018, it was totally worth the effort and time if you were single and looking to mingle.

Snapchat is going through that same sort of transformation right now. It used to be THE place for guys to meet women in their local area, but it’s been dying a slow death for the past few years now thanks to Instagram. It doesn’t mean that all the time you spent trying to build up your profile was wasted though – hopefully you got a lot out of it while it was hot and you haven’t become so attached to it that it feels impossible to leave.

My current favorite app at the moment is Instagram. I’ve already talked about how easy it is for white guys to meet Asian women there, and it just seems to be getting better year after year. The popularity of Instagram in Asia has grown immensely in the past few years, and if you’re a single white guy who’s looking for love in Asia, it’s where you need to be right now (other than Japan Cupid and Korean Cupid of course).

One of the best features of Instagram is the ability to direct message (DM) other members. And because Instagram isn’t marketed as a dating app, these private conversations are what you need to focus on if you are looking to find the woman of your dreams.

However, it’s a very easy feature to be abused, so you have to be very careful about how you approach women so that you don’t find yourself getting blocked by them or banned from Instagram altogether. The best way to tread lightly is to have them reach out to YOU instead of the other way around. The best thing about this is that it’s actually a lot easier than it sounds, assuming you have a bit of both preserverence and patience.

The six step method to get a constant stream of DM’s from Asian women:

  1. Find a girl you like and start out by occasionally (once every 2 weeks) commenting on her public photos or stories. It’s very important not to make the comment aggressive in any way! Comment about something specific in the photo and NOT about her and how you want to run away with her and make babies. Ha! If she responds, great, but if not – that’s ok too. The important thing here is that you are just making yourself known.
  2. Keep doing this for as long as it takes for her to start responding to you. Remember, commenting on every one of her posts is considered aggressive, and she’s likely to ignore you forever if you come across as being clingy and desperate.
  3. If you’ve been doing this for three months and she’s still not responding, move on. She’s clearly not interested in you, and there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
  4. However, if she is responding, it’s time to start creating posts that will attract her attention. By now you should have a pretty good idea what she’s interested in and what it is that makes her talk, so focus on posting that kind of content. Occasionally (like once every 6 weeks) tag her in a post.
  5. Rinse and repeat. Keep in mind that pretty much every woman on Instagram is inundated with guys hitting on them every day, so your goal is to establish yourself as “safe” – someone she knows isn’t going to annoy her with cheesy flirting. Once she becomes familiar (and comfortable) with you, she’s likely to be willing to start talking.
  6. Once she’s been publicly responding to you for a while (liking your posts, replying to your comments, etc) start a DM conversation with her by asking a specific question – asking for help with the language she speaks usually works well. She’s likely to respond enthusiastically at that point, and that should be your way in to an extended conversation.

In summary, this probably seems like a lot of time and effort involved to get those steady stream of DMs coming in. And it is. But remember – you should be doing this with many women at once so things will happen a lot faster than you think. Some women won’t be very responsive at all, but others will and it’s going to balance out nicely.

Figure about six months to get to the point where you’re waking up to an inbox full of DMs from Asia every morning. Maybe a little longer if you’re a bit shy and more passive, and shorter if you’re smooth as ice and charming as hell.

Good luck out there!

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5 easy ways to make that cute Asian girl like you

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Okay, I fully admit that the premise of this article is stupid, and because of that, there is something I need to say before I go any further: I’ve been on this planet for 43 years now, and if there’s anything that I’ve learned along the way, it’s that you simply cannot force somebody like you. Other people will simply like you or they will not – there’s very little that you can do to change someone’s mind and their perception of who you are as a person. So don’t get your hopes up that what I’m about to tell you is the magic cure-all for your dating problems.

However, there are ways you can improve your chances to get closer to that cute Asian girl of your dreams. These tips and tricks are not about changing her mind, but are more geared toward changing your own personality and mannerisms to better match that of the Asian girl mindset. Ready to begin? Let’s go!

Stop being so loud and aggressive

If you are attracted to a woman from Japan or Korea, this is especially important. Japanese and Korean culture is based on honor and respect for others, which unfortunately, is a hard thing for us Western men to grasp sometimes. There is good in all of us and it may seem like it would be easy to be more compassionate and understanding when talking with women from this part of Asia, but our natural instincts to be bold and assertive sometimes shine through it the most inappropriate of moments. In other words, don’t high-five her mother the first time you meet her. Being calm, cool, and quiet is the fastest way to get the attention of an Asian woman.

Respect your family

This might seem like a somewhat odd dating tip, but family relationships are extremely important in Asian culture. If you hate your family with passion and can’t take the time to visit and do things for them even though you only live 10 miles away, it’s going to be quite detrimental to your chances of winning the heart of your Asian crash.

Start listening to music from her own country

Wanna to blow her mind? Get to know and listen to music from her homeland. This one isn’t so easy, I admit, because it was personally very difficult for me to get into J Pop or K Pop when I was dating Japanese and Korean women. That stuff is weird – and there were only a few bands that I could ever find that I somewhat liked, but mentioning a popular band from thier country was the perfect way to get to know someone I was attracted to. This really works – try it yourself, and watch her eyes bulge out of her head with amazement.

Carry a man bag

This is another tip that’s gonna be tough for all you Midwestern farm boys out there who think “dressing up” is a pair of crocodile-skinned cowboy boots and a button up flannel shirt. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that – you have to be true to your roots and be yourself, but most Asian women aren’t going to find that very attractive. Want to know what’s in style all across Asia? Think business casual. Unfortunately, business casual also means man bags. Nearly every Asian woman that I dated gave me a gift of a man bag at one point or another, and all I could do was smile and thank them for their generosity when all I wanted to do was throw it in the nearest dumpster. I was one of those Midwestern farm boys at one time, so going out in public with a man bag over my shoulder took some time to get used to.

Talk about food

One of the most interesting things to me about dating Asian women is the fact that discussion always seemed to revolve around food. Compared to Western women, Asian women have a passion for food that I have not seen anywhere else in the world. This is easily found by browsing profiles of nearly any Asian girl on Instagram. You will quickly see that a majority of the posts are pictures of food, and more specifically, desserts. If you can talk about food with passion and a slight bit of knowledge (it doesn’t need to be much) you’re in. I’ve never met an Asian girl who didn’t like talking about food.

In conclusion, you are never going to be able to make someone really like you when they really don’t, and if by chance you get lucky to get her to go out of date with you after years of begging and pleading, you have to ask yourself if it’s a relationship you really want to be in anyway. Why chase after somebody who doesn’t want you? Trust me – I dated women from Asia for many years before I got married, and every time I had to chase ended up being a complete waste of time for both of us. But I eventually learned how to change my own mindset to be more mentally attractive to these women and I had better luck once I started applying some of the principles I talked about above.

Take your time with this. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it takes time to find the perfect balance of changing your mindset without changing who you are, while at the same time attracting more women. Good luck!

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Pros and cons of using Twitter to meet Asian women

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I wasn’t really planning on talking about a lot about the ways white men and Asian women meet on social media, but let’s face it – there are very few people left in this world who aren’t on some sort of social media platform, and if you’re one of them, you are really missing out. You can’t resist social media if you are single and looking to meet the person of your dreams. Sorry. That’s just the way it is these days.

So what is the best social media platform for white guys to meet Asian girls (and vise versa)? I’ve already written extensively about the power of using Instagram for dating, and I deem that to be the holy grail for singles looking to mingle.

But what about twitter? Twitter is really nice in the sense that it’s perfect for those short on time and prefer to interact with others in short to-the-point bursts. Unlike Instagram, you don’t have to have nice photos to create an interesting feed of content – just start talking, say whatever it is you want to say in 140 characters or less, and you’re done. For some, that simplicity makes it the perfect communication tool.

But how easy is it for white guys to meet Asian women on this platform? At the time of this writing (June 2017), there are an estimated 328 million active users on twitter. Chances are pretty good that many of them are single and looking to mingle. You just have to find them.

Let’s look at the pros and cons of using Twitter to meet Asian women

Pros:

  • As I just mentioned above, the user base is huge. 328 million active users, and it’s growing every day.
  • Twitter doesn’t require as much time as Instagram (in general). You’ve got only 140 characters to say something, so there’s no need to write paragraphs of text to get the attention of someone.
  • 140 characters of cleverly written text will get someones attention more than a full paragraph would anyway – so embrace this limitation!
  • It’s easy to find Asian women to mingle with. Twitter is very popular in Asia, and since it’s a global platform, many of them speak English. Just know that you’ll do better if you speak their language though. Make the effort!
  • If you find someone interesting who doesn’t seem to be interested in you. It’s ok. Move on. There is an unending supply of people to meet on Twitter.

Cons:

  • Twitter is not (at it’s core) a visual platform. That tends to make things difficult when trying to show who you really are as a person.
  • Saying something interesting in 140 characters or less is not as easy as it sounds. It takes practice!
  • Unless you are specifically searching for people who use the hashtag #single (or something similar), you will most likely annoy every single woman you approach if you start off telling them how beautiful they are. Remember: Twitter is not a dating platform, so tread lightly.
  • To elaborate further on the point above, it will take some time to find someone who is 1). single and looking, and 2). interested in you as well. Because of that, you have to consider Twitter as just another tool in your dating tool box. It’s not the holy grail dating platform – and as a matter of fact, success will be challenging unless you are on 24 hours a day.

Keep in mind that while I wrote this article from the male point of view, the same points apply if we switch this around. Asian women looking to meet white men on twitter will face much of the same challenges that the men will, but just as it is in the real world, they will have much more success. The success rate is naturally pretty high when a woman approaches a man, so ladies, keep that in mind if you are feeling nervous about introducing yourself to your Twitter crush. If he’s single, he’ll very likely be interested in starting a conversation with you.

So there you have it. Twitter can work for guys who are looking to meet Asian women online, but it’s a lot more difficult than Instagram due to the fact that it’s a less visual platform and you’ll have to rely on your wit and charm to get your foot in the door. And for many guys, that could be a problem…

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How easy is it for white guys to meet Asian girls on Instagram?

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Sometimes I feel like I was born at the wrong time. I just missed out on having the internet becoming mainstream while I was still in school, and I am so envious of kids today who don’t have to go to the library and slog though volumes of encyclopedias to do research for their school projects. I graduated college in 1996, and it was right about then that the internet was starting to grab hold and change the world.

It did take a while to take off though. Porn was obviously one of the first industries to go digital, but it did take a few years for major businesses to see the potential of the internet. Online dating started becoming a thing by 1998 or so – it was then that I remember meeting my first Asian woman online. Her name was Akiko, and she was from Nagoya Japan. We met on Yahoo Personals, and from what I can recall, we exchanged email once a week or so. Our communication wasn’t all that frequent but it was still very exciting to me at the time. I knew right away that this was a revolutionary way to meet women. Finally, shy guys like me had a chance! I wonder whatever happened to Akiko? Last I heard from her (way back in ’98), she told me she was coming to the US to meet several of the men she met online – and she wanted to see me as well. She was husband shopping, and that freaked me out. I didn’t even respond and we lost touch forever,

Fast forward to current times, and social media has taken over our lives whether we like to admit it or not. Meeting people online is SO easy now – and you don’t even need to sign up for a dating site like JapanCupid or KoreanCupid to meet that Asian woman of your dreams. Of course you’ll likely have more success signing up with a dating site and meeting women that way, since everyone there is looking for love. Not everyone on social media is available and looking.

Instagram is my favorite social media platform at the moment, primarily because I am a highly visual person and I have a passion for photography. I’m happily married to a wonderful Japanese woman at the moment and I’m not looking to meet other women, but…wow. There are so many beautiful and amazing Asian women on Instagram that I cry a little inside and wish I had this tool available to me when I was still single.

Meeting Asian girls on Instagram

Instagram is a great way to get to know someone due to how visual of a social media platform it is, and a quick scroll of someones feed will tell you a lot more about that person than you could ever hope to decipher though an ad on an online dating site. It’s so easy to find someone attractive to you (not just in looks, but in lifestyle as well), and I know I could have done well meeting Asian women here when I was still single.

Instagram users come from all over the world, and it’s particular popular with women in Japan and Korea. Especially Korea, as women’s fashion and style is a huge part of the culture – there are so many beautiful Korean woman posting adorably cute selfies that you won’t have to spend a lot of time to find them. Search for the hashtag “#귀엽다” and go from there.

White guys: it helps if you can speak a bit of their language, but overall, work your way in gradually if you see a woman you are interested in. Don’t be creepy, and for the love of God, don’t smother her with likes and comments (because, well, that qualifies as “creepy” and no woman likes to be stalked online). Ask her questions, make random compliments. But don’t overdo it. If she isn’t responding, back off. The best part of Instagram is that is has such a large user base, so if you’re not getting anywhere with one woman, it’s easy to back off and try getting to know someone else.

I wish Instagram was a thing when I was still single. It would have been a lot easier for white guys like me!

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Pro tip: she won’t automatically like you just because you’re a white guy

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Before my attraction to Asian women fully bloomed, I really didn’t think that women from Asia were into white guys at all. To be honest I wasn’t even something I thought about that much, except for that one time in high school when I was thinking about hitting on that cute Filipino girl in my American History class but I was too chicken to ever try. Asian women were in a different league at that point in my life, and while I did find them attractive, I didn’t dwell on it. There were plenty of other white girls who had my attention anyway.

By the time I was in my early 20’s Asian women were the primary object of my desire and western girls didn’t even exist to me anymore. While it seemed perfectly normal back then to have such a narrow view on dating at relationships, I realize how creepy that sounds as I’m writing it out now. But stay with me for a moment. There’s a point to all this I promise.

Part of the reason I was so focused on Asian women was because of how much easier I was told it would be. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert and mustering up enough courage to approach women has never been my strong point. I’ve crashed and burned too many times to count when I was trying to court the ladies, and I’m not going to lie when I say that it was frustrating.

There was a Chinese woman at work that I had become pretty good friends with, and she made it her mission in life to hook me up with one of her Chinese girlfriends. All I kept hearing from her was how easy it would be for a white guy to meet women in China, and that all Chinese women want to date white men. I was skeptical at first, but enough pestering over the years conditioned me to believe that this was indeed true. As far as I was concerned, I would find the love of my life in China (or anywhere else in Asia) without having to lift a finger.

The next few years were pretty rough for my dating life. I fully believed that all Asian woman wanted to be with a white man, and it crushed me when I realized how much of a struggle it was to meet Asian girls. Especially here in the US. Failure after failure after failure…I wasn’t getting anywhere, and it wasn’t until I started meeting other Asian people (men and women) and actually talking to them about this subject that I realized how ignorant I had been on the subject.

Plain and simple, Asian women don’t look at white guys any differently than they would anyone else. As a matter of fact, most prefer Asian guys. That’s just the way it is. It was a difficult thing for the young early 20-something version of me to come to realize, and I’ve chalked it up as one of my most significant educational experiences of my life. It’s dangerous to paint a large group of people with a single wide brush, and it took many years of frustration and confusion to unlearn that little nugget of info and set me straight.

The most interesting thing about all this is that I still meet a lot of younger white guys today who have this same narrow-minded idea about Asian women. It may have been the case that Asian women were more attracted to white guys a long time ago, but with the technology we have today (internet, travel, etc), white people in Asia are not a big deal. It’s nothing special, and I promise you that every cutie you see on the streets of Hong Kong or Taipei are not attracted to you just because you’re white.

Meeting Asian women online

White guys: here’s what you need to know about meeting Asian women online

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If I were granted three wishes, one of them (without a doubt) would be being allowed to go back in time to about 2005 or so with the knowledge I have now about meeting Asian women online. I didn’t know anything back then – I was just a typical American white guy in his late 20’s with very little appreciation of Asian culture who just blurted out anything he was feeling in playful sarcastic tones. This doesn’t fly in Japanese and Korean culture.

I absolutely destroyed a few good relationships with Japanese women back then due to my ignorance of their culture. Basically, I was saying the wrong things with the wrong tone of voice, and I didn’t even realize that I was being rude and inconsiderate. What is considered normal behavior here in the US is absolutely not normal in the far east. Live and learn I guess – I just wish I could go back in time and slap myself silly for not taking care to understand the differences between my own culture and theirs. I’ll bet a few of those women still think of me as an inconsiderate asshole.

Not understanding the culture and failure to learn what not to say in certain situations is probably the most important thing that white guys need to know about meeting Asian woman online in chatrooms or on dating sites like JapanCupid or KoreanCupid. But there are a few other really other important things to know:

Japanese women generally wait for the guy to make the first move

“Generally” is the key word here. When I first met my wife online (at JapanCupid), she was actually a lot more aggressive about moving the relationship along than I was expecting. But every other Japanese woman I met before her tended to sit quietly and not say anything affectionate until I said it first. This is very different from US (and western) culture, so don’t be put off if you think she really isn’t into you. Start being a bit affectionate towards her, and see what happens. If she responds in kind, you’re good. If not, it may be time to move in.

You are going to have to travel if you want to meet Asian women online.

I’d wager that this isn’t a problem for most guys, but there are some out there I’m sure can’t stand the thought of sitting on an airplane for 14 hours. My advice? Get over it. If you meet a nice girl somewhere in Asia, you are going to have to visit her every now and then or else the relationship simply isn’t going to work. Travel is a good thing actually – even if your relationship with her doesn’t work out, just having had the experience of diving head first into a new-to-you culture is something you can carry with you for the rest of your life.

You will write a lot trying to meet women from Asia online

If you don’t like writing, I’m afraid that meeting women from the far east online is going to turn into an unpleasant chore really fast. Some women prefer texting. Some prefer email. There are some that even prefer both! But when it comes right down to it, she’s going to want constant contact with you if she’s even remotely interested. Make sure you have the time commitment (and a desire to write) before you make the decision to meet Asian gals online, because if you don’t, you’re likely to revert back to the relative simplicity of meeting women in your local area.