Category Archives: Dating in Asia

General discussion about white guys and Asian women

Do older Asian women like white guys?

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As I get older, I’m becoming wiser. As each year goes by, I feel as if I’ve learned more about women and the way they operate. I’ll tell you what – I can only dream of having the knowledge I have now back when I was in my 20s and still single. It would’ve been a total game changer! Anyway, I know there are a lot of you guys out there who are mature in your years and you’re looking for someone your own age. The question is: do older Asian women like white guys?

The short answer to that question is YES. Older Asian women absolutely do like white guys. However, it’s important to know that (compared to younger Asian women), there are some differences in complications. Let’s have a deeper look at all of those right now:

Older Asian women DO like white guys, but…

First of all, just as I do in all of the articles that I write here on AsiaGraphix.com, I need to say that these are my opinions only based on my own personal experiences. Take them for what they’re worth.

1. Single older Asian women are extremely difficult to find

All I can say is that I’m extremely glad that I am older and married now. If I were still single and looking for an Asian woman in her 30s, 40s, or 50s, I know for a fact that I would be miserable.

My hypothesis for this theory comes from observing and analyzing the things I see on Instagram. Not that I consider Instagram to be the gold standard for meeting women or anything, but it’s where single people go to chat and mingle whether they like to admit it or not.

Anyway, when one of the things that I’ve noticed is that that there are an extremely small number of older Asian women on Instagram who have a public profile. Most women in this age bracket tend to either make their profiles private, or they reveal nothing personal about themselves. You’re either going to see an entire feed containing pics of her kids, or you’re going to see that big gray lock icon.

Older Asian women don’t put themselves “out there” as much as women from western countries. So – if you’re into mature ladies, you’re gonna have to go online to places such as FriendsAsia. Even then, from what I’ve been told, it’s slim pickings.

Divorce rates are much lower in Asia they are in other parts of the world, so the chances of finding a completely amazing single Asian lady over 35 are low.

2. Older Asian women are more traditional

And by traditional, I mean they tend to date and marry only within their own race. Asian women older than 40 won’t be as willing to get involved with a white guy as much as a 20-year-old would. This stems from her conservative traditional values passed down from her parents and grandparents (who would NEVER allow marriage to a Westerner).

However, in this day and age with the Internet and social media being so prevalent,  those traditional values aren’t held as tightly as they had been before. It’s extremely easy to make international friends online (especially with Instagram), so unfortunately the cultures of many of these Asian countries have been diluted somewhat. It’s not completely uncommon to see older Asian women with white guys these days.

3. Older Asian women tend to speak less English than the younger generation

For me, this has always been the biggest barrier to dating women from Asia. Back when I was young and single, call English wasn’t as prevalent in many Asian cultures as it is today. And that made it extremely difficult to meet women from any Asian country online.

Of course all of those women that I was trying to meet back then are my age now. Mid 40s, very deeply entrenched into their own culture, busy with life and not having much time to learn English.

It’s for that reason that finding an older Asian woman (that you can really connect with) will be more difficult then someone from a different part of the world.

Of course, it completely behooves you to make an effort to learn some other languages as well. Don’t be that guy who refuses to learn the language of the woman he is attracted to.

4. The older we get, the more we return to our roots

One of the most interesting things about getting older is the natural feeling to reconnect with our youth. No, that doesn’t necessarily mean listening to heavy-metal and playing video games all day. What I mean is that once we reach a certain age, we start to understand the importance of where we came from and the people who got us to where we are today.

What does this have to do with older Asian women and white guys? Well, it’s the fact that if you’re a white guy from the US, Europe, or Australia, you have to understand that most Asian women over the age of 40 are going to be holding onto very strong connections to their homeland.

As a matter fact, this very thing is what’s driving my wife and I apart at the moment. We’re both in our mid-40s, living in the US. I’m a white guy of course, but she is Japanese. She moved here to be with me when we got married, and back then, she was totally happy with it. But now, 10 years later, she’s having very strong feelings about Japan and she wants to go back.

Of course she still wants to be with me. However, she’s come to the realization that she can only truly be happy in her homeland living and breathing the culture she’s known since a child. And you know what? I totally support her on this, because I’m starting to feel the same way about my home here in the US as well. This is my home. This is what I know and love. As I love Japan, leaving the US permanently isn’t really an option anymore.

This is something we’re going to have to work through together. And chances are, if you’re a white male pursuing an older Asian woman, you’re going to have to deal with this as well.

5. Family bonds are extremely tight in many parts of Asia

Sadly, I have many guy friends who married a Chinese women only to be destroyed by her because of her insistence to support her entire family. Now, I’ve gotten nothing at all against Chinese women (as a matter of fact Chinese women are probably what I would be dating if I was single), but…this is the cold hard truth.

Older Asian women are likely to place members of her own family above her husband or boyfriend. Of course this varies by culture (with Chinese being the most extreme), so be careful if you enter into a relationship with a mature Asian lady with a large family. You have to know exactly what you’re getting into!

Pros and cons of dating Asian women 35 and older:

Pro: just as it is with dating any woman of that age, she will be very mature and experienced enough to know what she wants in life. in other words: she’s less likely to string you along and be flaky on you compared to younger women! Even Korean women, which tend to be the flakiest in my opinion.

Con: as much as I hate to say this (because it sounds extremely stereotypical) but older Asian women can be extremely superficial. Of course I’m speaking in generalities and not all mature Asian women are like this, but if you’ve been to any big city in Asia recently you should know what I’m talking about. Older Asian women like to shop. Prepare yourselves for that if you’re extremely tight with your money.

Pro: her traditional Asian culture will make her want to treat you like a king. For me, this is one of the biggest reasons why I started dating Asian women so many years ago. Western women have been brought up to challenge men in every aspect of life (both professionally and personally), and it’s because of this that I’ve had difficulty dating women here in the US. No, I’m not a loser who takes advantage of women – all I want is to receive the respect that I give. More often than not, I could only get that from an Asian woman.

dating korean women

Six valuable lessons I learned from dating Korean women

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Back in my single days, I dated women from a wide variety of east Asian countries. Looking back on it, I’d have to say that women from Korea were both the best AND worst in terms of being quality relationship material. Here are the six most valuable lessons (and interesting tidbits) I learned from dating Korean women over a span of about 15 years:

  1. Korean women are much like American women
  2. Korean women are extremely emotional
  3. Korean women can be incredibly flaky
  4. Every Korean woman that I’ve ever met has been able to out to eat me
  5. Korean women aren’t generally into white guys compared to women from other Asian countries

To be honest, my interest in Asian women started with the Japanese. It eventually morphed to an attraction to Chinese women once I realized my American personality might be too strong to date Japanese women.

Dating Korean women was different. Women from Korea are very different compared to women from other Asian countries, and it felt more like a natural fit for me. Of course, it wasn’t all fun and games either – since what I enjoyed about dating Asian women (the politeness, kindness, respect, etc.) was somewhat lost and I felt like I was dating American women. Which, leads me exactly to my first point:

Dating Korean women is a little bit different. Here’s why:

Before jumping into all the reasons why I think dating a Korean woman is a little bit different, I just want to say that these are my own personal experiences. I’m not proclaiming all of what I’m about to write to be scientific fact, but it’s data that I’ve personally gathered over 15 years of dating in Korea.

1. Korean women are very much like American women

As an American, I am very aware of how loud and obnoxious this culture can be sometimes. I’m not knocking it, but I’m not afraid to say the truth. I’ve been all over the world many times over, so when I compare myself and my American culture to what I’ve seen elsewhere, I can confidently say that were a little bit loud and crass sometimes.

So yeah – dating a Korean woman is very similar to dating an American women because of how similar the two cultures are. Korean culture is extremely outgoing and opinionated. Korean girls aren’t afraid to say what they think, and they tend to hold a lot of prejudice against other Asian countries.

I can’t even begin to count the number of times I started dating a new Korean woman only to have her go into a tirade against Japanese or Chinese people within a day of meeting her. The first time it happened I thought I might have found a bad apple – but when it kept happening over and over again, I began to realize that Koreans are extremely passionate about politics and voicing their opinions.

This is something that I discussed in my article about the differences between Japanese and Korean women, so if you want more of my opinions on this, do be sure to give that a read.

2. Korean women are extremely emotional

This only seems natural after what I told you about how political and opinionated they are, right? Dating a Korean woman is the ultimate test of one’s sanity. One day she’ll be the cutest and bubbliest woman you’ve ever met, and the next she’ll be refusing to get out of bed because she’s either really mad (or sad) about something.

In all my dating experience over the years, my relationships with Korean women were always the most difficult. I’m not saying that they were the most fun (because some of them were) – but I always felt like I was juggling a ticking time bomb that could go off unexpectedly at any moment.

Seriously – I had absolutely no idea what to expect on a day to day basis while dating a Korean woman. It was always a confusing and somewhat difficult venture.

3. Korean women can be extremely flaky

As beautiful and amazing as I think Korean women are, I really hate to admit that they are typically the most flaky. For example, in my experience, a Korean woman will think absolutely nothing of stringing you along in an extremely flirty way one day, and then completely ignoring you the next.

Every single Korean women that I have ever dated has flaked on me at least once. Most of them did it regularly.

For all of you guys out there interested in dating Korean women, I have some advice for you:

Be prepared for an endless string of unanswered DM‘s and or emails even after you think you’ve really hit it off with her.

Experience has taught me not to panic. She’s just being extremely flaky, and she’s not blowing you off. Just give it a little time, and she’ll be back as flirty and giggly as usual. Trust me.

4. Every Korean woman that I’ve ever met has been able to out eat me

If you’re not familiar with Korean culture, you need to know that food is an extremely big part of it. Dating a Korean woman means that will spend most of your time together eating. Sometimes it’ll just be the two of you, and other times it will be with her entire family – cousins, grandparents, siblings and all.

It’s because of this special relationship with food that Koreans are able to eat an extraordinary amount in a single sitting. That’s my theory anyway.

The most important thing you need to know is that you will be absolutely shocked by the amount of food that your tiny little Korean girlfriend can eat. I consider myself a pretty strong either myself, but I have never been able to eat as much as a Korean woman can.

5. Korean women, in general, aren’t into white guys

Again, this is my opinion only based on my own personal experiences. You see, a lot of western guys go to Asia looking for love because it’s so difficult to find at home. They hear stories of how easy it is to meet women in Asia, primarily because of how Asian women find white guys irresistible. That might be true in some areas, but it’s definitely not the norm in Korea.

Based on my experience, dating Korean women was just as difficult (if not more) than dating white women here at home in the US. Korean women are extremely superficial (just like American women) and they tend to date within their own race.

Not only that, Koreans don’t generally date as much compared to other cultures. They are usually far too busy with things like school and work, and dating is simply an afterthought for many. This is precisely why people are having less children (and the population is declining) in Korea right now.

If you’re a white guy looking to find a girlfriend in Korea, all I can say is: good luck. It’s not going to be impossible, but just know that it’s going to be a little more difficult compared to finding a girlfriend in other Asian countries. My best suggestion? Head on over to FriendsAsia and see what you can find…

A few final thoughts about dating Korean women

Let me be completely honest. I find Korean women to be (by far) the most beautiful woman on the entire planet. However, if I was single again and on the prowl, I’m not really sure how much time I would spend trying to find a Korean girlfriend.

Maybe I’ve just had bad luck or something, but every Korean woman I have ever met has strung me along in a somewhat painful and annoying stream of flakiness and confusion. Whenever I felt like I was making real progress in that it was turning into one of the best relationships I’ve ever had, she would suddenly flake out on me and force me to reset my expectations.

Being with a Korean woman is like riding a roller coaster. Sometimes you’re up, and sometimes you’re down. Either way, you’ve got a hold on really tight and not let go because will be in danger of being thrown from the ride if you can’t keep it together.

Good luck out there.

How to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you

How to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you

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For us guys, trying to figure out whether or not a woman likes us has always been one of our biggest struggles in life. Some women are easier to figure out than others, but I’ve got really good news for you. Women from Vietnam are, in my experience, very easy to read. How so? Well, here’s how to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you:

  • She’ll usually tell you
  • She’ll shower you with kindness
  • She’ll bring you gifts
  • She’ll be extremely excited to bring you into her family life

I’ll explain each of these points in greater detail in a moment, but first I need to let you know why I feel I’m qualified to Write this article.

First of all, I am 45 years old at the time of this writing, and I’ve been dating Asian women for my entire life. From Japanese women to Thai women (and everything in between), I’ve learned a lot about different cultures over the years. In that experience, I’ve always found that Vietnamese women are the easiest to get along with and understand. By far.

By the way, if you don’t know very much about Vietnamese culture and the people, I recommend starting with this wikipedia article. It’s a good primer of the culture and it’s traditions, and goes a LOT deeper into why Vietnamese people are the way they are.

Anyway, western women are the worst in terms of trying to figure out and understand. But that’s a topic for another post. For now, let’s just focus on women from Vietnam and what makes them so special.

4 easy ways to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you

1. She’ll usually tell you

Every Vietnamese woman that I’ve ever been in a relationship with actually told me very early on that she likes me. There was absolutely no guessing on my part. Obviously, this was amazing because it eliminated all of the stressful courting rituals that come with traditional dating.

One woman, who’s nickname was “Twee”, was a coworker of mine when I was just 25 years old. She was a bit older than me, but we were working together on the same projects for several months. We eventually became good friends. Then, one day during our usual lunch at a local restaurant, she told me that she liked me.

Another Vietnamese woman was one that I met online about 10 years ago. It started off with email and eventually switched over to IM, and she flat out told me she liked me within one week of knowing each other. We hadn’t even met face-to-face yet! This is what I love about trying to figure out how to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you or not. There is no guessing, and, in typical Vietnamese fashion, she totally made it easy for me.

Finally, the only other Vietnamese woman in my life right now (if you can call it that) is a cute cashier lady down at the local grocery store. Of course I am married now and I would never cheat on my wife, but it’s still fun to flirt and make friends. I also can’t say that I’m not curious to see where this friendship is going. If it goes anything like I expect it will, I’ll be telling her “no, sorry, I’m married but thanks anyway” very soon.

2. She’ll shower you with kindness

The best way to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you or not is to see how she reacts when you’re too busy to talk to her. For the record, I’m not a rude guy, and I have never ignored any woman that I have been involved with. However, sometimes things get busy in life and work, and everything else (including relationships) can get shut out for a bit.

The Vietnamese woman that I told you about that I met online 10 years ago really taught me something about Vietnamese culture and how women from Vietnam show their affection. Here’s what happened:

I was so busy with work stuff when her birthday came around that I completely forgot. I know. It was the worst thing that a guy could ever do in a relationship, but I was so busy and it completely slipped my mind. As soon as I realized what it happened, I thought I was done for and that was the end of this particular relationship.

However, after apologizing as sincerely as I could, she accepted it and continued to show me affection like nothing had ever happened. That would never happen with a western women. Heck, even Korean and Japanese women would hold a grudge for a while – and sometimes end the relationship right then and there.

Vietnamese women shower their men with the kind of love and kindness that makes me feel weak in the knees. Of all the women that I’ve dated in my life, it’s the women from Vietnam that made me feel the most special and cared for. And that’s a good feeling to have. Especially since it makes me want to give those feelings right back to her and the overall relationship thrives because of it.

If you’re dating a Vietnamese woman for the first time and you’re not sure if she likes you or not, you’re doing quite well if she showers you with kindness and is willing to do anything to help you.

3. She’ll bring you gifts

One of the easiest ways to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you is to receive a gift from her. Especially if it’s a gift that she created herself – such as food.

In my dating experience over the years, gift giving is a common thing (no matter the culture). However, in western culture, it usually doesn’t happen until well after the relationship has been established and both individuals have known each other for quite some time. Sure, there might be rare exceptions of small funny gadgets or trinkets exchanged within the first several dates, but Vietnamese women take this to a whole new level.

Of all the Vietnamese women that have been attracted to me in my life, I’ve received handmade gifts from all of them within the first one or two meetings. Things like:

  • An entire cake
  • Books about things I am interested in
  • Blankets and pillows

It should also be noted that there have been many Vietnamese women I’ve met who were not attracted to me. And you want to know what? I never received gifts from any of them.

The art of knowing how to tell if the Vietnamese woman likes you or not all comes down to the gifts. If she’s giving you stuff, she likes you. If she isn’t, then she’s probably not into all that much.

4. She’ll be extremely excited to bring you into her family life

Family is an extremely important part of Vietnamese culture, and any Vietnamese woman interested in you will want to introduce you to her family as soon as possible. This seems very strange to those of us who only know western dating culture, but I’ve been introduced to more Vietnamese families than any other in my dating years.

I’d also like to point out that you should feel absolutely honored to meet her family. She’s opening up her entire life to you, so you absolutely have to respect that and appreciate what she is doing. If the Vietnamese woman you’re dating is just a casual fling to you and she wants to introduce you to her family, you need to reevaluate the situation and make sure you’re not leading her along into something that’s going to end badly for her. Don’t be that guy.

A Vietnamese woman who likes you is a very special feeling

If there’s anything to be learned from this entire article, it’s the fact that Vietnamese women are extra special. Personally, I’ve always been attracted to Japanese and Korean women the most, but both of those cultures are very similar to the US in terms of dating styles and traditions. Both Korean and Japanese women are very hard to understand sometimes (much like western women), but Vietnamese women are genuine. They are completely open and honest, and they don’t play games.

How do you tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you? Look at her face. If it lights up whenever she sees you and she finds absolute joy in bringing you gifts and telling you how she feels, you’re a very lucky man. The best part is that you’re not going have to wait months to see this kind of stuff. If a woman from Vietnam likes you, she’s gonna let you know right away and you’ll both be off on an amazing relationship together faster than you’re probably used to.

5 ways Asian girls are SO underrated

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It occurred to me last night as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, that Asian girls are underrated. Like, incredibly underrated. You see, I was lying there thinking of all the things that happened that day, and it was hard not to smile thinking of all the interaction I had (both online and off) with various Asian girls that day.

As a matter of fact, I woke up this morning feeling the exact same way. I just can’t resist listing out all the ways that I think women from Asia are better than women from any other parts of the world. It’s a crude and slightly unorganized list, and it reflects my observations and experiences only.

However, I do believe my experiences to be common – and I’d be curious to know what you think. Do you think Asian girls are as underrated as I do? Let’s get right into the list…

All of the amazing ways that I think Asian girls are underrated:

1. They actually talk to me

I need to start out by saying that I’m an old guy. 45 years old, and unfortunately, I’m not as hot as Brad Pitt. As a matter fact, I am more on the “Harry Potter” side of the spectrum. Here in the US, when interacting with white American women, this puts me at a huge disadvantage. American women only seem to be interested in muscular mega hunks like The Rock – not little nerdy guys like me.

However, I am an absolute stud on Instagram. And I do very well in real life meeting real Asian girls too. I don’t say this to brag. As a matter of fact it’s really funny more than anything else because growing up here in the US was a painfully frustrating experience for me when it came to love and relationships.

Asian girls are underrated because they actually prefer Good personality traits over handsome good looks. They are not into huge muscular guys with no personality, and that puts me at a huge advantage.

For example, I post a lot of pictures of myself on Instagram. I’m not cocky at all, and I just have fun showing my life the way I like to live it (which is pretty boring actually). Asian girls like this. and they actually “like” my pics and follow me without me having to beg for it.

Not only that, I’ve become very good friends with several incredibly attractive and young Asian girls on Instagram over the past two years or so. They are kind of girls who, if they were white and western, would never talk to me in a million years because I don’t look and act like a total stud.

  1. There’s the 25-year-old Korean flight attendant.
  2. There’s the 25-year-old Korean student who has an amazing bubbly personality to match her incredibly (cute) good looks.
  3. And of course, my favorite Instagram buddy at the moment: the 20-year-old Chinese college student at the local university who (for reasons I can’t understand) keeps talking to me and responds with walls of text to every DM that I send her.

Is that all the proof you need to know that Asian girls are underrated? Well, if not, I’ve got a little more to tell you:

2. They are actually approachable on the street

Here in the US, approaching women on the street is a very dangerous proposition for a guy for a guy like me. Unless you’re super hunky and drive up in a Lamborghini, it’s incredibly difficult to approach a random White girl and get her contact info. Girls here are just so stuck up and defensive, end it can be incredibly frustrating for guys like me who have no intention to harm or annoy. I just want to be friends!

The best way to explain how approachable Asian girls are is to tell you what happens on a regular basis around my own neighborhood. I live in a college town with many international students (most of them Asian). This means that there’s always a constant flow of students and their families moving in and out of my neighborhood each school year. I see a lot of new faces every time I go out for a walk, and it’s always the Asian girls who respond back to my smiles with smiles and waves of their own. White girls do NOT do that.

As a matter fact, I am writing this article during one of my usual morning walks (using the voice to text feature on my phone) and I just smiled and waved to a super cute Asian mom who I see out running every morning. As usual, she smiled and waved back.

Asian girls are underrated because they are not stuck up and defensive as their western counterparts. And that makes me incredibly happy.

4. They actually respect others

If you’re a white guy and you’ve never dated an Asian girl before, you’re in for a real treat the first time it happens. If you need a little motivation, I’ve already outlined 3 very good reasons why you should date an Asian woman.

Anyway, let’s back up a second. If you’ve never been to Asia before, it’ll completely blow your mind how courteous people are in every situation you encounter. In Japan, people smile and wave to each other in heavy traffic. In Taipei, shop personnel will make you feel like a king or queen when you step into their store. Even if you have no intention of buying anything.

Asian girls are underrated because they think about others before they think of themselves. I’ve found this to be true the further east you go.

For example, in western China, people are far less courteous than the people in Japan. Speaking of which, Japanese girls are incredibly amazing simply because of how polite and respectful they are. Not only do I think they are some of the most attractive girls on the planet, but their personalities are incredibly attractive as well.

5. They will make you a better person

For me, this is the biggest reason why I believe Asian girls to be so underrated. I am married to a Japanese woman now, but I’ve dated my fair share of Asian women in my single years. Some relationships were better than others, but in every one of them I learned to be a better person.

It all goes back to what I was saying above about how respectful Asian girls are. Contrast that to someone like me who was born and raised in the heart of the United States – where aggressiveness and being loud is taught at a very young age.

Being with Asian girls (as opposed to western girls) has taught me how loud and obnoxious I can be sometimes. Which says a lot considering that I’m considered to be very shy and introverted to most western people. I honestly feel as if I’m a better person for having spent so much of my life with Asian girls. I’ve got a long way to go to become perfect (and I don’t think I’ll ever get there), but I’m happy with the way I’ve turned out.

I’m still discovering all the ways that Asian girls are underrated

As I said at the top of this article, I am 45 years old. Of course I still feel like I’m 18 years old in my head, and I know for a fact that I’ve still got a lot of learning to do. However, Every Asian girl that I meet teaches me something about eastern culture (and myself) that I never realized before.

As such, It’s becoming increasingly annoying to me that most every western girl that I meet reveals something about their (my) culture and my personality that I don’t particularly enjoy.

Asian girls are kind and polite. Western girls are loud and aggressive. Yes, I know I am painting generalities and clichés with a very wide brush, but for the most part it’s what I’m seeing and experiencing in my day-to-day life.

Asian girls are so incredibly underrated,. If you’re a white guy looking to expand your horizons when it comes to dating, I suggest making an effort to go out and meet some Asian girls. It’ll very likely change your life as it did mine…

white men asian fetish

This is what it’s like to be a white guy with an Asian fetish

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First of all, there needs to be a disclaimer (more of a warning actually) before I even begin this post. If you’re the kind of person who is easily offended about discussions of sexuality and / or kinky stuff, hit the back button on your browser or RSS feed right now! I’m going to get brutally honest and raw with this post (more than I ever have in the past) and it may be offensive to some. You have been warned.

I am a white guy with an Asian fetish

There. I said it. It took me a long time to have the courage to admit it, but the fact that I have an overwhelming desire to run home and masturbate after every encounter I have with an Asian woman is pretty much the definition “fetish“ I guess. And before you label me as a pervert who needs to be sent to a self help group (or an insane asylum), you have to know that I am a mature and contributing member of society – I have an amazing family, I run several businesses, and most people who I meet will tell you that I’m a really good guy who would do anything for anyone. And we all have a kinky side.

Yes, I do have a thing for Asian women. As I wrote on the About page, my fascination with Japanese and Korean women began back in 1996, right when the internet was becoming mainstream. That was the first time in my life that I had the opportunity to peek rather deeply into these amazing Far East countries, and well…it only took a few weeks before I was hanging out on Yahoo! Personals looking for an Asian girlfriend. “Akikio” was the first woman I met on Yahoo! in 1997. I wonder where she is now?

Anyway, I’m not going to lie – seeing Japanese porn for the first time in my life was the most erotic thing I had ever seen, and since there were no Asian women where I lived in the Midwestern US at the time, masturbating to Japanese internet porn became a daily activity.

Two years later I moved to California, where the Asian population in places (such as San Francisco) made my head spin. There were Asian women everywhere, and I literally felt like I had died and went to heaven!

Of course being shy and somewhat introverted severely limited the amount of relationships I was able to stumble into, and it was a fun 20 years of meeting women from all parts of Asia here in my own country. It ended up being the north eastern Asian girls that I was most attracted to – there was just something so mesmerizing about Japanese and Korean women that made me weak in the knees, and to this day, I’ve never been able to shake it.

I spent a lot of time on Japan Cupid and Korean Cupid looking for the love of my life, and I eventually found her in 2009. We married in 2010.

This is what my life is like now as a white guy with an Asian fetish

I’m 44 years old now, and even though I’ve been married to a Japanese woman for the past 8 years, my Asian fetish is as strong as it’s ever been. The weird thing is that my wife seems to be exempt from these lustful feelings – so it’s not like I’m chasing her around the house with those crazy weird pervert eyes (and an obnoxious erection), making her life miserable and uncomfortable.

I’ve been living with her for so long now that she’s just a “human” to me – a human being just like me, with real thoughts and feelings, and she’s just trying to get on with her life in the most happy and productive way possible like we all are. I do not see her as a sex object. If anything, we’re just buddies who enjoy hanging out together, and I’m not ashamed to admit that sex isn’t even a thing anymore. And we’re both 100% okay with that.

As I said though, my fetish for Asian women is fierce. For example, we shop in Japanese grocery stores here in Southern California, and every time go in I can’t help but to feel flustered (and excited!) to see those super-cute cashier ladies. Of course I’m not staring at them like a psycho or anything, and I’m even pretending to pay attention to my wife (like a good husband should) when she asks me if I want grapes or apples.

All the guys reading this post are saying “yeah, I totally get it”, while I imagine that most of the women are thinking that I’m a loose-canon loser pervert who needs to be locked up for good. To the guys, I give you a virtual high-five. To the ladies, well, I’m sorry to inform you that this is the way that EVERY guy on this planet thinks. Your boyfriend, husband, brother, father, grandfather – they ALL think about sex like this all the time whether they like to admit it or not, so don’t be so quick to judge me here.

All men have a sexual fantasy running through their brains at any given moment, and mine are primarily Asian-themed. Is that so wrong? We all have our turn-on’s and fetishes, and it just so happens that I’m not afraid to write about mine. Especially since I am the author of a blog which helps white men and Asian women get together.

I’ve never cheated on my wife (and I never will), but I do enjoy a good masturbation session fantasizing about the Asian women I encounter in my daily life. Is that so wrong? I’d like to think that most of these women would be flattered that a white guy like me was so intensely attracted to them anyway, so as long as I’m not bothering them, no harm no foul.

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How realistic is it for a white guy to have a relationship with a woman from Japan or Korea?

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I’ve already written loads of tips and tricks that white guys can use to meet Asian women (using Twitter and Instagram is the best way IMHO), and while that’s all nice and helpful, I get the following question a lot:

Just how realistic is it for a Caucasian guy from the US or Europe to meet and have real relationships with women from Korea and Japan?

You’ll note that I’m being very specific when I say “Japan” and “Korea”, because saying “Asia” instead is far too broad and would be difficult to give specific guidance in a single post such as this. I’ll talk about how easy (or difficult) it is for white men to meet women from other parts of Asia in future posts, but for now, let’s just focus on South Korea and Japan.

Is it *really* possible for white men to meet Japanese and Korean women?

Yes! I know this for a fact, and I believe it 100%, because if a nerdy white guy such as myself has been able to date Japanese and Korean women my entire life, anything is possible. And the fact that I’m married to a Japanese woman now is just the icing on the cake. I’m not going to lie when I say that it’s been a difficult and stressful road at times, but I’m living proof that such a thing is possible.

The most important thing you need to realize is that, just like with anything else in life, you need to set realistic expectations:

1. If you’re an overweight guy with bad teeth over the age of 30 (heck, even 25), you’ll have no chance hooking up those cutie J Pop and K pop girls you see all over Instagram

Face it – that’s life. However, there are literally hundreds of millions of attractive and single Japanese and Korean woman looking for a relationship (JapanCupid and KoreanCupid are good places to look). And they’re not just in Asia – check out my post outlining the best cities in the world to meet Asian women, and you’re likely to find that they are closer than you think.

2. You need to have a flexible temperament and be somewhat compassionate (more than you would be with a western woman)

Again, you need to face reality here – Japanese and Korean culture is pretty much the exact opposite of yours, and she is going to have problems at times accepting your western ways. You can’t get mad when she tells you that wearing shoes is off limits in the house. You can’t show a look of disgust when she asks you to fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper. Your decision to be in a relationship with a Japanese or Korean woman is a very big one (more than you think) and you need to have the personality for it.

3. A surprisingly large number of Japanese women are attracted to the “Harry Potter” type

This isn’t surprising considering how much the Japanese value simplicity and boyish charm in a relationship. As a matter of fact, you’ll have a much better chance meeting a Japanese woman if you look more like Harry Potter than Dwyane Johnson. Sorry, meatheads – no matter how charming you may be, Japanese women are (for the most part) not interested in body builders.

4. Results don’t happen overnight

Be prepared to be looking (and trying) for years, and if at first you don’t succeed, try again. Nobody ever said that dating Asian women was easy, but the good news is that dating websites such as JapanCupid and KoreanCupid makes the process of trying again and again very easy. It took me 5 years of trying before I ended up meeting my wife on JapanCupid, and even though I met a handful of others along the way (that didn’t work out) I’m still friends with some of them to this day.

You will also need to spread out your efforts a bit, with Instagram being one of the best social media platforms right now to meet other people. Be sure to check out my post which I outlined step by step instructions on how to meet Asian women with Instagram!

In conclusion

You know how the saying goes: anything is possible if you are determined enough to make it happen. It’s 100% guaranteed that you won’t meet the Korean or Japanese woman of your dreams if you don’t make enough of an effort, and it’s all up to you to make it a reality. And when it comes right down to it, this point is the most important of them all and it’s not even worth saying anything else.

The effort you put into this will directly affect the results you get, so get out there and make it happen – and as alway, be sure to report back and tell us your success story in the comments below to help inspire others!

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3 things white men need to know about having sex with a Japanese woman

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If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve already read my post about the things every white guy should not do to his Asian girlfriend. That post was more about general relationship things, not so much about the sexual side of the relationship. This one’s going to be a little bit different! If you’ve been waiting for me to expand a bit more sexually on that post that I wrote so long ago, this is your lucky day because I’m about to give you a detailed lesson ways to keep your Japanese girlfriend happy in bed.

I’ve been dating Japanese women for all of my adult life, and as a matter fact I have been married to a Japanese woman for the past 10 years. I am a Caucasian guy born and raised in the mid western United States, so it goes without saying that my wife and I share two completely different cultures and more often than not it’s a struggle trying to make compromises to keep each other happy. But we manage to do it and it’s been a very good relationship so far.

Believe it or not, the area which we seem to be on the same page the most is in the bedroom. It’s probably because there’s very little talking involved, so there’s no chance of either of us saying something that the other doesn’t understand because it’s culturally opposite to what we know. I’m telling you, Japanese and US culture is completely opposite from one another and I could write an entire post about the struggles my wife and I have your daily lives trying to mix the two. That a topic for another post, for now, let’s get back to the bedroom.

3 things every white guy must do to keep Japanese women happy in bed

1. Don’t be so aggressive

It goes without saying that most white guys grew up watching nothing but western pornography which consists of things like gang rape, anal, choking, and lots of slapping. Of course you’ll find all those kinds of things in Japanese porn as well, but it’s much harder to find and it’s definitely not mainstream. What I’m trying to say is that western sex culture and Japanese sex culture is completely opposite, and you’re not going to get very far if you grab your Japanese girlfriend by the arm with force and tell her (with an angry voice) that you’re going fuck the shit out of her.

Japanese sex is generally slower and more respectful of one another, which to me, can be just as hot (if not hotter) than aggressive intercourse. If you’re throwing her around and being overly forceful with her body, she’s not going to enjoy it and the chances of you getting the chance to be with her again will be slim to none.

2. Pheromones work with Japanese women

For those of you unfamiliar with pheromones, they are chemical scents that can trigger a response in members of the opposite sex. They are not drugs, and they are 100% natural and legal. From all the evidence that I have seen, they work. More interestingly, based on what I’ve heard, pheromones work with Japanese women particularly well.

I hadn’t even heard of pheromones while I was single and dating, it wasn’t until after I was married that I had first learned about how effective they are. I still have a lot of single friends (caucasian men) who are actively dating and swear by the use of pheromones.

And just to reiterate – NO, these are not date rape drugs. Pheromones are scents that you place on your own body (like cologne) which will naturally attract and stimulate the senses of those around you. They’ve been used for centuries by both men and women all over the world, and are proven to work. My single white guy friends say that they are essential tool to attract Japanese women, and I’m a bit bummed that I’m not single anymore. Because lord knows I needed all the help I could get…

3. Even though she says yes, she might be saying no

This is the biggest thing that I struggle with as a white man living with a Japanese woman. Japanese culture is so different from my own, and for me, saying no is something that I don’t even hesitate with and I’m not afraid to say it.

My wife on the other hand, is often afraid to say no and it stems directly from her Japanese culture. The Japanese are more respectful of one another than American’s are, and saying no is often seen as something very negative. That’s why I couldn’t believe it the first time we had sex and she said yes to everything that I asked her to do. It’s not like I was asking for a really kinky stuff or anything, but she’s very shy and timid in daily life, and she had no problem going with the flow and agreeing to anything that I suggested in bed.

Of course it wasn’t until about a year later (when I knew her personality in and out) that I knew that all of those “yes’s” mostly meant “no’s”. She was just being polite, and thinking back on it, I feel really bad for the things I asked her to do. The bottom line is to be respectful of her culture and to know that just because she says yes, doesn’t mean that she’s totally into it. The look on her face and/or the tension of her body should speak volumes, and if you’re not sure that she’s totally into whatever it is that you’re suggesting, just back off.

As a western guy who has dated Asian women his entire adult life, being with an Asian women is ironically one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever done in life. Women are very emotional creatures, and combine that with a culture that is very different from your Western culture, it can create some very difficult and awkward situations – situations that can be avoided if you just take the time to understand how to avoid them.

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The top five non-Asian cities for white men to meet Asian women

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I’ve been traveling all over the world for 20 years now, and I’ve seen quite a bit. From Asia to Europe to North America South America and everything in between, I think I’ve got a pretty good sense of what this world is like and what’s happening where. Now, I’m not saying that I am an expert in all things related to geography and the cultures of the world, but I have been around and I’d like to think that I’ve learned a thing or two from my extensive travels.

One the questions I get asked the most as a blogger who writes about relationships between white men and Asian women is:

What are the best cities in the world for white men to meet Asian women without going to Asia?

Well, I’ve got good news for you – I can think of several right off the top of my head that might surprise you, which I know for a fact is what all of you white men out there looking for a relationship with an Asian woman (and Asian women who are looking for a relationship with a white man) want to hear. It’s not always necessary to start your search in Asia!

The top five cities (not in Asia) for white men to meet Asian women

1. San Francisco

OK, I’ll totally admit that this was the obvious first choice, but it’s the first choice for a reason! The Asian population in San Francisco is the most dense in the US, and therefore it’s the place to be in the United States if you are a white man looking to meet an Asian woman without going online. Take a walk down any major street in the city of San Francisco, and if you were dropped there blindfolded without having any idea where you were at, chances are pretty good that you would guess “Asia”.

Not only does the city of San Francisco have one of the highest Asian populations in United States, it’s also one of the top destinations in the US for Asian tourists. Therefore, whereever you go in the city, you will see in nearly 1:1 ratio of Asian to Caucasian people. If you’re a white guy in the US who’s having it difficult to find a time or resources to go to Asia, San Francisco is your best bet by far.

2. Vancouver Canada

Now, I’ll fully admit that this one shocked me as well. I’ve always known that Canada as a whole is very popular with Asians (both as a place to live as well as a place to visit), mostly due to how easy it is to enter Canada compared to the United States. Asians looking for a North American experience find it much easier to enter Canada than they do to enter the US, so it’s no surprise that any major city in Canada is popular with Asian people.

However, thanks to being situated right along the West Coast, Vancouver is simply on another level. In a recent visit, I couldn’t believe the number of Asian people from all regions that I saw (Korea, Japan, China, Thailand, Philippines, etc.) – San Francisco is the only other city in the world I found that rivals Vancouver in terms of beautiful Asian women walking the streets and I’d recommend it to any white guy anywhere in the world.

3. Reykjavik, Iceland

Yup, I can totally hear you slapping your forehead in amazement, and I don’t blame you. You weren’t expecting Reykjavik as being a place to find beautiful Asian women walking the streets, were you? Now, I do need to clarify that “walking the streets” does not mean that there are Asian prostitutes on every street corner. What I mean is that Iceland is a very popular tourist destination for Asians, and you might be amazed with the density of Asian population here at any given time.

It was hard to put my finger on what Asian countries were the most represented in Reykjavik, but based on my brief experience there I would have to say that it was mostly Asians from Northern countries such as Japan and Korea. I guess it kind of makes sense because I can’t imagine people from southern Asian countries such as Thailand and Singapore wanting to visit a cold place. I’m sure it happens, but it’s probably not all that common.

4. London England

I’m not totally sure what it is about London that attracts Asian people so much, but every time I go there I’m just amazed at the number of Asian tourists I see up and down every street. I’ve also been told by some of my Asian women friends in the past that most Asian women find Harry Potter extremely attractive and that’s part of the lure of England.

London also happens to be the place where most Asians think of when want to experience a place where English is the primary language. At least that’s what I’ve been told. Of course I can be totally way off on that comment, but it seems to be something I’ve heard over and over again and I guess I’m believing it to be true. So – for all of you white guys in Europe looking for the highest population of Asian women closest to you, it’s definitely London.

5. Toronto Canada

Everything that I said about Vancouver just a few paragraphs above is the same for Toronto. As a whole, Canada seems to be the place where most Asians tend to end up in North America, and I’ve been told by several guys in Toronto that it’s a hotbed of activity and they have no problem meeting Asian women they’re attracted to.

As a fun experiment, next time you’re talking to an Asian woman, ask her about the last time that she has been in Toronto. Chances are really good that she’s been there before, and I’ve only met but a few Asian women who have never been to the place at all.

Final things to keep in mind about meeting Asian women in countries all over the world

I still fully believe that if you’re a white man looking to meet an Asian woman, your best bet is to go to Asia in the first place. Yes, it’s totally possible to meet Asian women (tourists and locals) in other parts of the world, but your chances will be much higher simply due to how to dense most of Asia is. And considering the fact that most all women there are Asian, well, it doesn’t take a rocket science to figure out that Asia is the place to be if you are a white guy with a preference for Asian women.

On the flipside, think how much of a good impression you can make on an Asian woman who is visiting a country for the first time and is looking for help from locals (like you) to learn the place and figure out what to see and do. Make an effort to be involved in activities which helps tourists such as these (as a tour guide or a participant in some other type of tourist business catering to Asians) and it won’t be long until you’ll be making new friends.

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How to get a steady stream of Instagram DM’s from Asian women

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I’ve been around long enough to remember when the internet was brand new, and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years, it’s the fact that apps and products come and go. What’s popular and trendy today likely won’t be 5 years from now, so it’s important to be able to adapt to the changes. It’s also important to exploit them for all their worth while things are hot!

Remember MySpace? It’s been dead for a long time, but back in the day, that’s where everybody was hanging out. You were a nobody if you didn’t have your own page covered in animations and multiple streams of music all auto-playing at once, you didn’t exist. And even though it’s no longer around here in 2018, it was totally worth the effort and time if you were single and looking to mingle.

Snapchat is going through that same sort of transformation right now. It used to be THE place for guys to meet women in their local area, but it’s been dying a slow death for the past few years now thanks to Instagram. It doesn’t mean that all the time you spent trying to build up your profile was wasted though – hopefully you got a lot out of it while it was hot and you haven’t become so attached to it that it feels impossible to leave.

My current favorite app at the moment is Instagram. I’ve already talked about how easy it is for white guys to meet Asian women there, and it just seems to be getting better year after year. The popularity of Instagram in Asia has grown immensely in the past few years, and if you’re a single white guy who’s looking for love in Asia, it’s where you need to be right now (other than Japan Cupid and Korean Cupid of course).

One of the best features of Instagram is the ability to direct message (DM) other members. And because Instagram isn’t marketed as a dating app, these private conversations are what you need to focus on if you are looking to find the woman of your dreams.

However, it’s a very easy feature to be abused, so you have to be very careful about how you approach women so that you don’t find yourself getting blocked by them or banned from Instagram altogether. The best way to tread lightly is to have them reach out to YOU instead of the other way around. The best thing about this is that it’s actually a lot easier than it sounds, assuming you have a bit of both preserverence and patience.

The six step method to get a constant stream of DM’s from Asian women:

  1. Find a girl you like and start out by occasionally (once every 2 weeks) commenting on her public photos or stories. It’s very important not to make the comment aggressive in any way! Comment about something specific in the photo and NOT about her and how you want to run away with her and make babies. Ha! If she responds, great, but if not – that’s ok too. The important thing here is that you are just making yourself known.
  2. Keep doing this for as long as it takes for her to start responding to you. Remember, commenting on every one of her posts is considered aggressive, and she’s likely to ignore you forever if you come across as being clingy and desperate.
  3. If you’ve been doing this for three months and she’s still not responding, move on. She’s clearly not interested in you, and there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
  4. However, if she is responding, it’s time to start creating posts that will attract her attention. By now you should have a pretty good idea what she’s interested in and what it is that makes her talk, so focus on posting that kind of content. Occasionally (like once every 6 weeks) tag her in a post.
  5. Rinse and repeat. Keep in mind that pretty much every woman on Instagram is inundated with guys hitting on them every day, so your goal is to establish yourself as “safe” – someone she knows isn’t going to annoy her with cheesy flirting. Once she becomes familiar (and comfortable) with you, she’s likely to be willing to start talking.
  6. Once she’s been publicly responding to you for a while (liking your posts, replying to your comments, etc) start a DM conversation with her by asking a specific question – asking for help with the language she speaks usually works well. She’s likely to respond enthusiastically at that point, and that should be your way in to an extended conversation.

In summary, this probably seems like a lot of time and effort involved to get those steady stream of DMs coming in. And it is. But remember – you should be doing this with many women at once so things will happen a lot faster than you think. Some women won’t be very responsive at all, but others will and it’s going to balance out nicely.

Figure about six months to get to the point where you’re waking up to an inbox full of DMs from Asia every morning. Maybe a little longer if you’re a bit shy and more passive, and shorter if you’re smooth as ice and charming as hell.

Good luck out there!

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5 easy ways to make that cute Asian girl like you

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Okay, I fully admit that the premise of this article is stupid, and because of that, there is something I need to say before I go any further: I’ve been on this planet for 43 years now, and if there’s anything that I’ve learned along the way, it’s that you simply cannot force somebody like you. Other people will simply like you or they will not – there’s very little that you can do to change someone’s mind and their perception of who you are as a person. So don’t get your hopes up that what I’m about to tell you is the magic cure-all for your dating problems.

However, there are ways you can improve your chances to get closer to that cute Asian girl of your dreams. These tips and tricks are not about changing her mind, but are more geared toward changing your own personality and mannerisms to better match that of the Asian girl mindset. Ready to begin? Let’s go!

Stop being so loud and aggressive

If you are attracted to a woman from Japan or Korea, this is especially important. Japanese and Korean culture is based on honor and respect for others, which unfortunately, is a hard thing for us Western men to grasp sometimes. There is good in all of us and it may seem like it would be easy to be more compassionate and understanding when talking with women from this part of Asia, but our natural instincts to be bold and assertive sometimes shine through it the most inappropriate of moments. In other words, don’t high-five her mother the first time you meet her. Being calm, cool, and quiet is the fastest way to get the attention of an Asian woman.

Respect your family

This might seem like a somewhat odd dating tip, but family relationships are extremely important in Asian culture. If you hate your family with passion and can’t take the time to visit and do things for them even though you only live 10 miles away, it’s going to be quite detrimental to your chances of winning the heart of your Asian crash.

Start listening to music from her own country

Wanna to blow her mind? Get to know and listen to music from her homeland. This one isn’t so easy, I admit, because it was personally very difficult for me to get into J Pop or K Pop when I was dating Japanese and Korean women. That stuff is weird – and there were only a few bands that I could ever find that I somewhat liked, but mentioning a popular band from thier country was the perfect way to get to know someone I was attracted to. This really works – try it yourself, and watch her eyes bulge out of her head with amazement.

Carry a man bag

This is another tip that’s gonna be tough for all you Midwestern farm boys out there who think “dressing up” is a pair of crocodile-skinned cowboy boots and a button up flannel shirt. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that – you have to be true to your roots and be yourself, but most Asian women aren’t going to find that very attractive. Want to know what’s in style all across Asia? Think business casual. Unfortunately, business casual also means man bags. Nearly every Asian woman that I dated gave me a gift of a man bag at one point or another, and all I could do was smile and thank them for their generosity when all I wanted to do was throw it in the nearest dumpster. I was one of those Midwestern farm boys at one time, so going out in public with a man bag over my shoulder took some time to get used to.

Talk about food

One of the most interesting things to me about dating Asian women is the fact that discussion always seemed to revolve around food. Compared to Western women, Asian women have a passion for food that I have not seen anywhere else in the world. This is easily found by browsing profiles of nearly any Asian girl on Instagram. You will quickly see that a majority of the posts are pictures of food, and more specifically, desserts. If you can talk about food with passion and a slight bit of knowledge (it doesn’t need to be much) you’re in. I’ve never met an Asian girl who didn’t like talking about food.

In conclusion, you are never going to be able to make someone really like you when they really don’t, and if by chance you get lucky to get her to go out of date with you after years of begging and pleading, you have to ask yourself if it’s a relationship you really want to be in anyway. Why chase after somebody who doesn’t want you? Trust me – I dated women from Asia for many years before I got married, and every time I had to chase ended up being a complete waste of time for both of us. But I eventually learned how to change my own mindset to be more mentally attractive to these women and I had better luck once I started applying some of the principles I talked about above.

Take your time with this. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it takes time to find the perfect balance of changing your mindset without changing who you are, while at the same time attracting more women. Good luck!