Category Archives: Dating in Asia

General discussion about white guys and Asian women

instagram direct messages from Asian women

How to get a steady stream of Instagram DM’s from Asian women

I’ve been around long enough to remember when the internet was brand new, and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years, it’s the fact that apps and products come and go. What’s popular and trendy today likely won’t be 5 years from now, so it’s important to be able to adapt to the changes. It’s also important to exploit them for all their worth while things are hot!

Remember MySpace? It’s been dead for a long time, but back in the day, that’s where everybody was hanging out. You were a nobody if you didn’t have your own page covered in animations and multiple streams of music all auto-playing at once, you didn’t exist. And even though it’s no longer around here in 2018, it was totally worth the effort and time if you were single and looking to mingle.

Snapchat is going through that same sort of transformation right now. It used to be THE place for guys to meet women in their local area, but it’s been dying a slow death for the past few years now thanks to Instagram. It doesn’t mean that all the time you spent trying to build up your profile was wasted though – hopefully you got a lot out of it while it was hot and you haven’t become so attached to it that it feels impossible to leave.

My current favorite app at the moment is Instagram. I’ve already talked about how easy it is for white guys to meet Asian women there, and it just seems to be getting better year after year. The popularity of Instagram in Asia has grown immensely in the past few years, and if you’re a single white guy who’s looking for love in Asia, it’s where you need to be right now (other than Japan Cupid and Korean Cupid of course).

One of the best features of Instagram is the ability to direct message (DM) other members. And because Instagram isn’t marketed as a dating app, these private conversations are what you need to focus on if you are looking to find the woman of your dreams.

However, it’s a very easy feature to be abused, so you have to be very careful about how you approach women so that you don’t find yourself getting blocked by them or banned from Instagram altogether. The best way to tread lightly is to have them reach out to YOU instead of the other way around. The best thing about this is that it’s actually a lot easier than it sounds, assuming you have a bit of both preserverence and patience.

The six step method to get a constant stream of DM’s from Asian women:

  1. Find a girl you like and start out by occasionally (once every 2 weeks) commenting on her public photos or stories. It’s very important not to make the comment aggressive in any way! Comment about something specific in the photo and NOT about her and how you want to run away with her and make babies. Ha! If she responds, great, but if not – that’s ok too. The important thing here is that you are just making yourself known.
  2. Keep doing this for as long as it takes for her to start responding to you. Remember, commenting on every one of her posts is considered aggressive, and she’s likely to ignore you forever if you come across as being clingy and desperate.
  3. If you’ve been doing this for three months and she’s still not responding, move on. She’s clearly not interested in you, and there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
  4. However, if she is responding, it’s time to start creating posts that will attract her attention. By now you should have a pretty good idea what she’s interested in and what it is that makes her talk, so focus on posting that kind of content. Occasionally (like once every 6 weeks) tag her in a post.
  5. Rinse and repeat. Keep in mind that pretty much every woman on Instagram is inundated with guys hitting on them every day, so your goal is to establish yourself as “safe” – someone she knows isn’t going to annoy her with cheesy flirting. Once she becomes familiar (and comfortable) with you, she’s likely to be willing to start talking.
  6. Once she’s been publicly responding to you for a while (liking your posts, replying to your comments, etc) start a DM conversation with her by asking a specific question – asking for help with the language she speaks usually works well. She’s likely to respond enthusiastically at that point, and that should be your way in to an extended conversation.

In summary, this probably seems like a lot of time and effort involved to get those steady stream of DMs coming in. And it is. But remember – you should be doing this with many women at once so things will happen a lot faster than you think. Some women won’t be very responsive at all, but others will and it’s going to balance out nicely.

Figure about six months to get to the point where you’re waking up to an inbox full of DMs from Asia every morning. Maybe a little longer if you’re a bit shy and more passive, and shorter if you’re smooth as ice and charming as hell.

Good luck out there!

white guy begging for asian girlfriend

5 easy ways to make that cute Asian girl like you

Okay, I fully admit that the premise of this article is stupid, and because of that, there is something I need to say before I go any further: I’ve been on this planet for 43 years now, and if there’s anything that I’ve learned along the way, it’s that you simply cannot force somebody like you. Other people will simply like you or they will not – there’s very little that you can do to change someone’s mind and their perception of who you are as a person. So don’t get your hopes up that what I’m about to tell you is the magic cure-all for your dating problems.

However, there are ways you can improve your chances to get closer to that cute Asian girl of your dreams. These tips and tricks are not about changing her mind, but are more geared toward changing your own personality and mannerisms to better match that of the Asian girl mindset. Ready to begin? Let’s go!

Stop being so loud and aggressive

If you are attracted to a woman from Japan or Korea, this is especially important. Japanese and Korean culture is based on honor and respect for others, which unfortunately, is a hard thing for us Western men to grasp sometimes. There is good in all of us and it may seem like it would be easy to be more compassionate and understanding when talking with women from this part of Asia, but our natural instincts to be bold and assertive sometimes shine through it the most inappropriate of moments. In other words, don’t high-five her mother the first time you meet her. Being calm, cool, and quiet is the fastest way to get the attention of an Asian woman.

Respect your family

This might seem like a somewhat odd dating tip, but family relationships are extremely important in Asian culture. If you hate your family with passion and can’t take the time to visit and do things for them even though you only live 10 miles away, it’s going to be quite detrimental to your chances of winning the heart of your Asian crash.

Start listening to music from her own country

Wanna to blow her mind? Get to know and listen to music from her homeland. This one isn’t so easy, I admit, because it was personally very difficult for me to get into J Pop or K Pop when I was dating Japanese and Korean women. That stuff is weird – and there were only a few bands that I could ever find that I somewhat liked, but mentioning a popular band from thier country was the perfect way to get to know someone I was attracted to. This really works – try it yourself, and watch her eyes bulge out of her head with amazement.

Carry a man bag

This is another tip that’s gonna be tough for all you Midwestern farm boys out there who think “dressing up” is a pair of crocodile-skinned cowboy boots and a button up flannel shirt. There’s certainly nothing wrong with that – you have to be true to your roots and be yourself, but most Asian women aren’t going to find that very attractive. Want to know what’s in style all across Asia? Think business casual. Unfortunately, business casual also means man bags. Nearly every Asian woman that I dated gave me a gift of a man bag at one point or another, and all I could do was smile and thank them for their generosity when all I wanted to do was throw it in the nearest dumpster. I was one of those Midwestern farm boys at one time, so going out in public with a man bag over my shoulder took some time to get used to.

Talk about food

One of the most interesting things to me about dating Asian women is the fact that discussion always seemed to revolve around food. Compared to Western women, Asian women have a passion for food that I have not seen anywhere else in the world. This is easily found by browsing profiles of nearly any Asian girl on Instagram. You will quickly see that a majority of the posts are pictures of food, and more specifically, desserts. If you can talk about food with passion and a slight bit of knowledge (it doesn’t need to be much) you’re in. I’ve never met an Asian girl who didn’t like talking about food.

In conclusion, you are never going to be able to make someone really like you when they really don’t, and if by chance you get lucky to get her to go out of date with you after years of begging and pleading, you have to ask yourself if it’s a relationship you really want to be in anyway. Why chase after somebody who doesn’t want you? Trust me – I dated women from Asia for many years before I got married, and every time I had to chase ended up being a complete waste of time for both of us. But I eventually learned how to change my own mindset to be more mentally attractive to these women and I had better luck once I started applying some of the principles I talked about above.

Take your time with this. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it takes time to find the perfect balance of changing your mindset without changing who you are, while at the same time attracting more women. Good luck!

social media hashtags

Pros and cons of using Twitter to meet Asian women

I wasn’t really planning on talking about a lot about the ways white men and Asian women meet on social media, but let’s face it – there are very few people left in this world who aren’t on some sort of social media platform, and if you’re one of them, you are really missing out. You can’t resist social media if you are single and looking to meet the person of your dreams. Sorry. That’s just the way it is these days.

So what is the best social media platform for white guys to meet Asian girls (and vise versa)? I’ve already written extensively about the power of using Instagram for dating, and I deem that to be the holy grail for singles looking to mingle.

But what about twitter? Twitter is really nice in the sense that it’s perfect for those short on time and prefer to interact with others in short to-the-point bursts. Unlike Instagram, you don’t have to have nice photos to create an interesting feed of content – just start talking, say whatever it is you want to say in 140 characters or less, and you’re done. For some, that simplicity makes it the perfect communication tool.

But how easy is it for white guys to meet Asian women on this platform? At the time of this writing (June 2017), there are an estimated 328 million active users on twitter. Chances are pretty good that many of them are single and looking to mingle. You just have to find them.

Let’s look at the pros and cons of using Twitter to meet Asian women

Pros:

  • As I just mentioned above, the user base is huge. 328 million active users, and it’s growing every day.
  • Twitter doesn’t require as much time as Instagram (in general). You’ve got only 140 characters to say something, so there’s no need to write paragraphs of text to get the attention of someone.
  • 140 characters of cleverly written text will get someones attention more than a full paragraph would anyway – so embrace this limitation!
  • It’s easy to find Asian women to mingle with. Twitter is very popular in Asia, and since it’s a global platform, many of them speak English. Just know that you’ll do better if you speak their language though. Make the effort!
  • If you find someone interesting who doesn’t seem to be interested in you. It’s ok. Move on. There is an unending supply of people to meet on Twitter.

Cons:

  • Twitter is not (at it’s core) a visual platform. That tends to make things difficult when trying to show who you really are as a person.
  • Saying something interesting in 140 characters or less is not as easy as it sounds. It takes practice!
  • Unless you are specifically searching for people who use the hashtag #single (or something similar), you will most likely annoy every single woman you approach if you start off telling them how beautiful they are. Remember: Twitter is not a dating platform, so tread lightly.
  • To elaborate further on the point above, it will take some time to find someone who is 1). single and looking, and 2). interested in you as well. Because of that, you have to consider Twitter as just another tool in your dating tool box. It’s not the holy grail dating platform – and as a matter of fact, success will be challenging unless you are on 24 hours a day.

Keep in mind that while I wrote this article from the male point of view, the same points apply if we switch this around. Asian women looking to meet white men on twitter will face much of the same challenges that the men will, but just as it is in the real world, they will have much more success. The success rate is naturally pretty high when a woman approaches a man, so ladies, keep that in mind if you are feeling nervous about introducing yourself to your Twitter crush. If he’s single, he’ll very likely be interested in starting a conversation with you.

So there you have it. Twitter can work for guys who are looking to meet Asian women online, but it’s a lot more difficult than Instagram due to the fact that it’s a less visual platform and you’ll have to rely on your wit and charm to get your foot in the door. And for many guys, that could be a problem…

instagram iphone

How easy is it for white guys to meet Asian girls on Instagram?

Sometimes I feel like I was born at the wrong time. I just missed out on having the internet becoming mainstream while I was still in school, and I am so envious of kids today who don’t have to go to the library and slog though volumes of encyclopedias to do research for their school projects. I graduated college in 1996, and it was right about then that the internet was starting to grab hold and change the world.

It did take a while to take off though. Porn was obviously one of the first industries to go digital, but it did take a few years for major businesses to see the potential of the internet. Online dating started becoming a thing by 1998 or so – it was then that I remember meeting my first Asian woman online. Her name was Akiko, and she was from Nagoya Japan. We met on Yahoo Personals, and from what I can recall, we exchanged email once a week or so. Our communication wasn’t all that frequent but it was still very exciting to me at the time. I knew right away that this was a revolutionary way to meet women. Finally, shy guys like me had a chance! I wonder whatever happened to Akiko? Last I heard from her (way back in ’98), she told me she was coming to the US to meet several of the men she met online – and she wanted to see me as well. She was husband shopping, and that freaked me out. I didn’t even respond and we lost touch forever,

Fast forward to current times, and social media has taken over our lives whether we like to admit it or not. Meeting people online is SO easy now – and you don’t even need to sign up for a dating site like JapanCupid or KoreanCupid to meet that Asian woman of your dreams. Of course you’ll likely have more success signing up with a dating site and meeting women that way, since everyone there is looking for love. Not everyone on social media is available and looking.

Instagram is my favorite social media platform at the moment, primarily because I am a highly visual person and I have a passion for photography. I’m happily married to a wonderful Japanese woman at the moment and I’m not looking to meet other women, but…wow. There are so many beautiful and amazing Asian women on Instagram that I cry a little inside and wish I had this tool available to me when I was still single.

Meeting Asian girls on Instagram

Instagram is a great way to get to know someone due to how visual of a social media platform it is, and a quick scroll of someones feed will tell you a lot more about that person than you could ever hope to decipher though an ad on an online dating site. It’s so easy to find someone attractive to you (not just in looks, but in lifestyle as well), and I know I could have done well meeting Asian women here when I was still single.

Instagram users come from all over the world, and it’s particular popular with women in Japan and Korea. Especially Korea, as women’s fashion and style is a huge part of the culture – there are so many beautiful Korean woman posting adorably cute selfies that you won’t have to spend a lot of time to find them. Search for the hashtag “#귀엽다” and go from there.

White guys: it helps if you can speak a bit of their language, but overall, work your way in gradually if you see a woman you are interested in. Don’t be creepy, and for the love of God, don’t smother her with likes and comments (because, well, that qualifies as “creepy” and no woman likes to be stalked online). Ask her questions, make random compliments. But don’t overdo it. If she isn’t responding, back off. The best part of Instagram is that is has such a large user base, so if you’re not getting anywhere with one woman, it’s easy to back off and try getting to know someone else.

I wish Instagram was a thing when I was still single. It would have been a lot easier for white guys like me!

pretty asian woman

Pro tip: she won’t automatically like you just because you’re a white guy

Before my attraction to Asian women fully bloomed, I really didn’t think that women from Asia were into white guys at all. To be honest I wasn’t even something I thought about that much, except for that one time in high school when I was thinking about hitting on that cute Filipino girl in my American History class but I was too chicken to ever try. Asian women were in a different league at that point in my life, and while I did find them attractive, I didn’t dwell on it. There were plenty of other white girls who had my attention anyway.

By the time I was in my early 20’s Asian women were the primary object of my desire and western girls didn’t even exist to me anymore. While it seemed perfectly normal back then to have such a narrow view on dating at relationships, I realize how creepy that sounds as I’m writing it out now. But stay with me for a moment. There’s a point to all this I promise.

Part of the reason I was so focused on Asian women was because of how much easier I was told it would be. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert and mustering up enough courage to approach women has never been my strong point. I’ve crashed and burned too many times to count when I was trying to court the ladies, and I’m not going to lie when I say that it was frustrating.

There was a Chinese woman at work that I had become pretty good friends with, and she made it her mission in life to hook me up with one of her Chinese girlfriends. All I kept hearing from her was how easy it would be for a white guy to meet women in China, and that all Chinese women want to date white men. I was skeptical at first, but enough pestering over the years conditioned me to believe that this was indeed true. As far as I was concerned, I would find the love of my life in China (or anywhere else in Asia) without having to lift a finger.

The next few years were pretty rough for my dating life. I fully believed that all Asian woman wanted to be with a white man, and it crushed me when I realized how much of a struggle it was to meet Asian girls. Especially here in the US. Failure after failure after failure…I wasn’t getting anywhere, and it wasn’t until I started meeting other Asian people (men and women) and actually talking to them about this subject that I realized how ignorant I had been on the subject.

Plain and simple, Asian women don’t look at white guys any differently than they would anyone else. As a matter of fact, most prefer Asian guys. That’s just the way it is. It was a difficult thing for the young early 20-something version of me to come to realize, and I’ve chalked it up as one of my most significant educational experiences of my life. It’s dangerous to paint a large group of people with a single wide brush, and it took many years of frustration and confusion to unlearn that little nugget of info and set me straight.

The most interesting thing about all this is that I still meet a lot of younger white guys today who have this same narrow-minded idea about Asian women. It may have been the case that Asian women were more attracted to white guys a long time ago, but with the technology we have today (internet, travel, etc), white people in Asia are not a big deal. It’s nothing special, and I promise you that every cutie you see on the streets of Hong Kong or Taipei are not attracted to you just because you’re white.

Meeting Asian women online

White guys: here’s what you need to know about meeting Asian women online

If I were granted three wishes, one of them (without a doubt) would be being allowed to go back in time to about 2005 or so with the knowledge I have now about meeting Asian women online. I didn’t know anything back then – I was just a typical American white guy in his late 20’s with very little appreciation of Asian culture who just blurted out anything he was feeling in playful sarcastic tones. This doesn’t fly in Japanese and Korean culture.

I absolutely destroyed a few good relationships with Japanese women back then due to my ignorance of their culture. Basically, I was saying the wrong things with the wrong tone of voice, and I didn’t even realize that I was being rude and inconsiderate. What is considered normal behavior here in the US is absolutely not normal in the far east. Live and learn I guess – I just wish I could go back in time and slap myself silly for not taking care to understand the differences between my own culture and theirs. I’ll bet a few of those women still think of me as an inconsiderate asshole.

Not understanding the culture and failure to learn what not to say in certain situations is probably the most important thing that white guys need to know about meeting Asian woman online in chatrooms or on dating sites like JapanCupid or KoreanCupid. But there are a few other really other important things to know:

Japanese women generally wait for the guy to make the first move

“Generally” is the key word here. When I first met my wife online (at JapanCupid), she was actually a lot more aggressive about moving the relationship along than I was expecting. But every other Japanese woman I met before her tended to sit quietly and not say anything affectionate until I said it first. This is very different from US (and western) culture, so don’t be put off if you think she really isn’t into you. Start being a bit affectionate towards her, and see what happens. If she responds in kind, you’re good. If not, it may be time to move in.

You are going to have to travel if you want to meet Asian women online.

I’d wager that this isn’t a problem for most guys, but there are some out there I’m sure can’t stand the thought of sitting on an airplane for 14 hours. My advice? Get over it. If you meet a nice girl somewhere in Asia, you are going to have to visit her every now and then or else the relationship simply isn’t going to work. Travel is a good thing actually – even if your relationship with her doesn’t work out, just having had the experience of diving head first into a new-to-you culture is something you can carry with you for the rest of your life.

You will write a lot trying to meet women from Asia online

If you don’t like writing, I’m afraid that meeting women from the far east online is going to turn into an unpleasant chore really fast. Some women prefer texting. Some prefer email. There are some that even prefer both! But when it comes right down to it, she’s going to want constant contact with you if she’s even remotely interested. Make sure you have the time commitment (and a desire to write) before you make the decision to meet Asian gals online, because if you don’t, you’re likely to revert back to the relative simplicity of meeting women in your local area.

Korean Cupid homepage screenshot

KoreanCupid.com review

By now you should know all about how much I’ve like JapanCupid.com – I met my wife there after all, so that in itself should say all there is to say about how legit of an Asian dating site it is. But there’s another one that I’ve had quite a bit of experience with in the past, and it was built by the same parent company. As a matter of fact, it’s basically the same website as JapanCupid, except that it was a place for meeting people from South Korea. That website, if you couldn’t guess the name by now, is KoreanCupid.com. Creative name, eh? At least they are consistent with their branding.

Since JapanCupid and KoreanCupid are built on the same platform by the same parent company, all of what I wrote about my JapanCupid review are applicable to KoreanCupid. The biggest difference between the two are the fact that one is Japanese based and the other Korean obviously, but it’s exactly the same experience. Therefore, I won’t list out the specific good and bad points of KoreanCupid in this review. No sense in writing it twice!

The big problem with KoreanCupid

There is one big difference that I would like to discuss, however. It’s the amount of spam, or fake accounts that I encountered during the entire duration of my subscription.

I was constantly getting notifications from beautiful Korean women who had very thin profiles (not much info), but they would never return messages. I would always wake up in the morning to see 3 or 4 new messages from women interested in connecting, but they were all young and beautiful and none of them ever responded back after I said hello. I only connected with a few real women on KoreanCupid, and they all turned into really good friendships. But it was frustrating dealing with all the fake accounts and replying to so many messages without getting a reply back.

My theory on KoreanCupid fake accounts / spam is this: there are simply a lot less woman on KoreanCupid than there are on JapanCupid, so they (the web developers and marketing team) have to keep all the guys interested by dangling carrots in front of their noses to keep them coming back. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been coming back that often had it not been for all the notifications I received, so their plan worked – for a while. I eventually got tired of the fake accounts and closed my account.

Are Korean women not attracted to western men? That was my thought initially, but the amount of Korean-American relationships I see here in southern California prove otherwise. I’m not really sure why Korean women don’t utilize this website very much. It’s bursting at the seams with white guys, so if that’s what they are looking for, there’s no better place to hang out.

My disappointing experience with KoreanCupid was way back when I was single, but I’ve still got friends who subscribe that are having the exact same experience that I did. It’s much more difficult to meet real women on KoreanCupid than JapanCupid.

You should note that it’s not a dating website worth avoiding completely, however. As I said above, I met some really great women there when I was a subscriber, so it is a valid place to mingle. But you have to be prepared to deal with the fake accounts and spam that will inevitably clog your inbox every day.

JapanCupid homepage screenshot

JapanCupid.com review

For white guys looking to meet Japanese women, one of the best resources on the internet at the moment is japancupid.com. “At the moment” is probably the wrong choice of wording since it’s been around for a very long time and it was one of the first Asian dating sites I used starting way back in 2005. It’s so good, in fact, that I ended up marrying a woman I met there in 2009.

My personal experience with JapanCupid ended in 2009 obviously, but I have a handful of friends (both male and female) who use the site today and can back me up in my claim about it still being one of the best sources for Japanese-Western relationships out there today. Many Japanese women do like white guys, so if you’re a guy who’s been curious about dating in Asia, this is one of the first places you should start.

Like all online dating sites, there are some good and bad things about JapanCupid. Here then, based on my own personal experience and the experiences of people I know, are the good and bad points about this highly active Japanese dating site:

The good things about JapanCupid

  • The member database is huge. This is a highly popular dating site for men and women all over the world.
  • The site is simple and easy to use. It’s easy to check messages, browse new listings, and add favorites. Notifications are a big plus too.
  • I like the fact that it covers a very specific dating niche. Single white people people looking for single Japanese people (and vise versa), and everyone is there for the same reason.
  • It’s not necessarily a “hookup” site – in my experience, 99% of the women I met there were interested in long term relationships, which was exactly what I was looking for. This might seem like a negative to a lot of guys, but if you’re someone a bit older like me, you’ll likely see this as a plus.
  • I met my wife there. If that’s not proof enough that JapanCupid.com works, I don’t know what is.

The bad things about JapanCupid

  • There are a high number of “fake” accounts. This is purely speculation on my part, but I found that when things got slow (nobody was contacting me), I would get random “hello’s” from amazingly beautiful young Japanese women who would normally never be interested in a guy like me. None of them wrote back after I responded, so after a while I concluded that these were fake accounts generated by JapanCupid themselves to keep people (men) coming back to the site. All of my friends who still use this site today confirm it’s still happening.
  • Competition is fierce if you’re a guy. There are a LOT more men on the site than women, but honestly, that’s to be expected of any dating website.

In concludsion, the good far outweigh the bad. It’s no the perfect dating website by any means, but that’s to be expected when it comes to online dating. You need to act with caution just as you would in real life, and if you’re careful about it, you may just find the love of your life in Japan.

Asian dating vs western dating

Asian dating vs. western dating

As a white guy who’s dated his fair share of white (western) and Asian women, I’m fairly confident when I say that Asian dating isn’t all that different than western dating. For some odd reason, I’ve run into a lot of caucasian people who think that Asian culture is something from another universe, and it’s difficult for them to comprehend how I could stand the differences due to the cultures being so different.

On one hand, it is true. Most Asian cultures are completely different than the US way of thinking that is burned deep into my brain, and it has been difficult at times to be with a Asian woman who doesn’t fully understand my point of view. And yes, that goes both ways. I’ve been accused many times of not fully appreciating the point of view of the Asian woman I am with. The struggle is indeed real and both the man and woman needs to make an honest effort to keep the other happy.

However, cultural differences aside, we humans are all the same. Asian dating for me is not any different than dating a caucasian woman when it comes right down to it. Everyone has the same emotions and needs in life. We all need food and shelter. We all want to feel loved. Most of us have compassion for others, and a drive to succeed. Women are woman and men are men. It’s really that simple.

However, for those of you out there who are curious about dating outside of your own race and want to know the drill before you jump in with both feet, let me point out a few of the biggest differences between dating Asian woman vs. caucasian (besides the fact that Asian women kiss differently than western women):

Asian dating is more calm

Let’s face it. We Americans, on the whole, are loud and brash. We say what we feel, are not afraid to be loud, and don’t always appreciate other’s feelings as much as we should. It’s not like we are trying to be rough around the edges – it’s just the way we are and we all tend to accept it as normal. This doesn’t fly in most Asian cultures – especially in South Korea and Japan. As a western person dating someone from Asia, you need to be cognizant of the fact that their culture is generally a lot calmer and quieter than ours is, and blurting out things before thinking about it will get you in trouble. Fast.

Asian dating will make you a better person

This is actually a continuation of the point above, but it’s important enough to be it’s own thing. Yes, it is true that dating an Asian will make you a better person. You will learn to be more calm, learn to appreciate the feeling of others better, and you will start seeing the world through their eyes. For the record, I love the US. It’s my home. My country. I wouldn’t change my culture if I could. That being said, dating women from Asia has shown me how much of an asshole I really am at times. I don’t mean to say things so harshly – it’s my culture, and being called out on it from someone from a completely different culture has helped me to grow as a person.

Asian dating will test your patience

I’ve just pointed out how dating someone from Asia will make you a calmer, better person. But it doesn’t happen overnight, and you will get annoyed by someone pointing out your bad points from time to time. It’s natural to feel defensive when being called out like that, so don’t worry if you feel your blood boiling when he or she tells you that what you’ve said offended them when you honestly didn’t mean anything bad by it. Just remember – if you love this person enough, making the effort to appreciate their culture is the key to a long and happy relationship.

Dating asian women at work

Tips for hitting on that cute Asian girl at work

I’m actually going to give away the big secret to hitting on that cute Asian girl at work right here in the beginning of the article (just because I think it’s that important): quite simply, do not do it. If you value your job and your overall happiness, do not even think about hitting on someone you work with. I speak from experience on this one, and despite how innocent and fun you may think this would be, 99% of the time it ends very badly. Here’s why:

  • Being distracted at work is never a good thing. You’ll spend more time thinking about that person and worrying about how well things are (or are not) going between you and them rather than focusing on the job you need to pay your bills.
  • You will be miserable every moment you are at work – as if you weren’t already before. You will overanalyze every interaction, feel bad when you feel like you are being ignored, and devastated when they go out to lunch with someone else instead of you.
  • When things go bad (and they will, trust me), being at work near that person will be the last place you want to be. Seriously – you’ll be wishing you were scrubbing toilet bowls in a busy truck stop in the middle of Nebraska rather than being at work near that person.

I could probably go on forever about how bad it is to date (or even be attracted to) someone that you work with, but I’ve been in this situation many times and I know exactly how easy it is to get lured in by that cutie sitting across from you who always smiles when you walk by.

If for whatever reason you can’t shake the desire to hit on her in hopes of sweeping her off her feet and living happily ever after together, I offer you this advice:

  • Don’t freaking do it. I’m very serious about this!
  • Start very (very) slow. Notice how she interacts with others. Is she super friendly and bubbly to everyone, or is she noticeably nicer to you than she is to everyone else?
  • If you sense a bit of attraction on her part, crank things up a notch by asking her to lunch. If she says no, then leave it at that and forget about it right then and there. At least you know where you stand.
  • If she agrees, go to lunch with her but do not treat it like a date. You are simply two colleagues enjoying lunch together.
  • You’re on your own at this point – if it goes well, keep hanging out away from work. AWAY from work is the key point here. If anyone in the office gets wind that the two of you are a thing, you risk getting fired. Yes, that really does happen – I’ve seen it happen twice in my career so far.

The bottom line is that you need to exercise extreme caution about showing affection towards someone else in the workplace. Not only for your career, but for your own mental health as well. Because when things go wrong (and they will), you are stuck there at work with that person and there’s nothing you can do about it unless one of you quits. Its a messy situation for all involved.