Category Archives: Dating in Asia

General discussion about white guys and Asian women

Apple Watch dating

This is how the Apple watch can improve your dating life

I’ve been wearing an Apple Watch for almost four months now, and it’s one of those kinds of things that makes me shake my head and wish this kind of technology was available when I was still single and looking for love. It’s definitely not as revolutionary as Apple claims it to be, but it’s made a significant enough impact on my daily life that I think it qualifies as one of my favorite tech toys right now. Heck..it’s probably the best tech product I’ve purchased in the last several years. For the first time in my life, I can track my daily fitness routines and physical stats without even thinking about it, and I never miss a text message or important notification. I feel so…connected!

Besides the obvious fitness tracking capabilities, I’ve noticed a few really neat features of the Apple Watch that would have come in really handy during my dating years. Let me explain:

Apple Watch users have a lot in common

Pretend you’re on a busy train, and you want to get the attention of that cute guy or gal standing across from you. You could just slide over with an awkward “how you doin’?” in your best Joey Tribiani voice, but wouldn’t it be a lot more fun to ask them a question about their Apple Watch? People are really proud of these things, and even I (as shy and introverted as I am) love talking about it and showing it others if they ask about it. If you aren’t wearing one yourself, you could ask them what they think about it. But if you’re wearing one, even better – you instantly have something in common and the icebreaker is all ready out of the way.

You can use your Apple Watch as an excuse to skip out on a bad date

The power of notifications on your wrist is a pretty big deal. Set a timer right before meeting someone for the first time, and the ringing notification and buzzing you get when it goes off is your excuse to bail if things aren’t going well. It would look totally legit too – hearing the ringing and buzzing, looking nervously at your watch to see what’s happening, and then breaking the bad news to your date that there’s an emergency and you have to run. God I wish I had this when I was single.

You’ll never miss a notification with the Apple Watch

Missing text messages or other notifications from your loved ones has ended relationships. It’s happened to all of us at one point or another, totally by accident, and it’s not an easy thing to apologize for. The haptic feedback feature of the Apple Watch is a guaranteed way that you will never miss important messages, gently tapping you on the wrist when you’re being summoned.

Apple Watches aren’t so common in Asia…yet

I feel like I need to mention this since the topic of this blog is about Asian women and white guys – but it is a very valid point. For you western men traveling to Asia, you may find that your Apple Watch will get a lot of attention (from both men and women) during your stay. This is a great way to meet people, and poking away at your watch on a busy train in Tokyo, or speaking into it on the streets of Hong Kong is a sure way to get people to ask you what it is that you’re doing. Use it as a tool to meet people!

I don’t think had “dating life improvements” as a top selling point when designing the Apple Watch, but after four months of ownership I can totally see it as a valid reason for all you single guys and gals out there to get one. Some of us need more help than others when it comes to our love lives, and what’s not to like about adding another tool to your dating toolbox?

dating white guys

3 very good reasons why you should date a white guy

Now that I’ve written some compelling reasons for the white guys to date Asian women, it’s time to turn the tables around and trying convincing you Asian ladies why it’s so great to date a western (white) men. I’m going to try and write this as objectively as I can since I am a white guy myself and I don’t want this to sound like I’m only writing this for my own good. There are some really good reasons to date white guys – I promise you that. I’m not just writing this because I think so highly of myself.

I would like to point out, especially for you women born and raised in Japan and Korea, dating a white guy from anywhere else in the world could be a jarring experience if you aren’t prepared for it. The rest of the world isn’t so modest and respectful as your culture, so be prepared for that when you’re ready to start seeking a relationship with a western man. He will be a bit louder than you’re expecting. He won’t be so modest. And he might use a bit more sarcasm in his tone than you’re used to hearing. But once you get past these cultural differences, you may find the experience of dating caucasian men to be a refreshing and exciting change.

Here are three really good reasons for Asian women to date white guys:

1). Dating a western man will expose (and condition) you to the western world.

I realize this might not be an important thing for some women, but those with an adventurous spirit and a desire to learn and grow will gain a lot by dating a white man from a western country. It’s a big world out there – a world dominated by western cultures (whether we like to admit it or not), so getting acquainted with those cultures and ways of life is often seen as a way to grow both personally and professionally.

2). Dating a western man will teach you how to be a stronger woman.

Before you bash me for calling all Asain women weak, please note that I realize that isn’t true. I’ve known some pretty strong (mentally and physically) women from all parts of Asia, but I think you’d have to agree with me that on average, Asian women are not as strong as their western counterparts. This isn’t a bad thing – as a matter of fact, I personally find the modesty and respectful demeanor of most Asian women to be quite attractive. As a matter of fact, that’s exactly why I started dating Asian women in the first place. All I’m trying to say is that western cultures are generally more aggressive, and being around a western man and getting to know his ways can be quite beneficial to any Asian woman wanting to become a stronger person.

3). You will have the opportunity to make him a better person.

Let’s face it – western men are generally pretty rough around the edges. I should know…I’m one of them. We aren’t as polite as we should be, we don’t respect others enough, and we don’t take the time to appreciate the little things in life. We are far from perfect, and I believe that every single one of us has a desire inside to learn how to be better in every way possible. Your Asian culture is what we need to see how bad some of our western habits really are, and we need you to show us how we can do things better. Remember not to push us too hard though (no man likes a nagging girlfriend) – but gently guiding us in the right direction is something we can all benefit from.

If you’ve never dated a white guy before, there’s no better time to give it a try. Online dating makes this very easy, and if you are living in a western country already, it’s even easier. Don’t be afraid – reach out and see what you find. It’ll likely be unlike any other relationship you’ve had in your life thus far, but it may be the most satisfying based on how different the experience will be.

reasons for dating asian women

3 very good reasons why you should date an Asian woman

Speaking from my own experience as a white guy born and raised in the midwestern US, becoming attracted to Asian women for the first time when I was in my early 20’s was probably the best thing that ever happened to my love life. Up until that point in my life, I had never dated anyone but caucasian women and I can honestly say that I hadn’t had a single relationship that I would have considered entirely satisfying. I think the biggest problem for me was that I have a bit of a shy and introverted personality, which doesn’t seem to be attractive to a majority of western women. The white girls like white boys who are strong and daring, and unfortunately, I don’t think I had either of those traits as I was growing up. Yeah, it was a awkward childhood, and I’ve got some pretty deep scars from relationships gone horribly wrong.

But at 22, I found my attraction weaning towards the far east, where the women were beautiful, respectful, and appreciated guys like me who were anything but macho. Now before I go any further, I think it’s important to note that I’m not saying that all western woman are crude and disrespectful – I’m simply speaking about averages here. The average Asian woman is different than the average caucasian woman. I don’t think anyone can disagree with me on that.

Here then, based on my own personal experiences, are 3 reasons why I think you white guys should date an Asian woman:

You will be loved for who you are – not what you look like

As I mentioned above, “macho” (big muscles, MMA-type, etc) is not such an attractive thing for most Asian women. Sure, all women would like their men to be strong, but that means different things in different parts of the world. Most guys here in the US think that hitting they gym will give them a better chance of being noticed by the ladies. In Asia, it’s the boyish-looking bookworm who’s more likely to be noticed.

You will be respected

When it comes to honor and respect for others, there’s really no comparison between the US / Europe and Asia. Asian cultures are built around respect and appreciation for others, and being kind and giving is simply a way of life. If you are tired of western woman not giving you the respect you deserve, go out and date an Asian woman or two – it will totally change your perception on what love and sharing really is.

You will get to travel and experience new cultures

Ok, I know this one seems a bit odd, but it remains to this day as one of my top reasons for wanting to date women from Asia. I hadn’t traveled very much in the first 22 years of my life, but my mind was blown the first time I set foot outside the US. The reason for that trip was to visit a girl, and well…let’s just say that sparked a lifelong passion for travel and immersing myself in new and different cultures. If you meet an Asian woman online, you will likely be traveling to visit her and her family on a semi-frequent basis. If you have a passion for this kind of travel and a very open mind, this will become a very nice benefit of seeking love outside the borders of your own country.

There are a lot of other really good reasons to find your soulmate somewhere in the heart of Asia, but these are the top three based on my 20-year experience of dating Asian women. Your own results my vary, but I’m willing to bet that you’ll discover the same things I have – and maybe a few of your own based on the type of woman you find.

Japanese and Korean woman differences

Subtle differences between Japanese and Korean women

Any white guy who has been in a relationship with both Japanese and Korean women at any point in their lives know how very different they are from each other. I didn’t know this when I first entered the dating scene and it really came as a big shock to me. Keep in mind that I grew up deep in the American Midwest, and up until my late teens I thought all Asian people were pretty much the same. Yeah, I was a very sheltered and ignorant boy, and I didn’t personally know any Asian people who could have broke me from thinking the stereotypical things most ignorant Americans (including myself) think about people from the far east.

My education about the differences between Japanese and Korean women came as soon as I started to meet them, and as you can imagine, my early dating years were disastrous to say the least. Thankfully I’ve learned quite a bit since those awkward early days, and I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you some of the most important things I’ve learned over the years:

Korean women tend to be more outgoing than Japanese women

This actually came as a really big shock to me. My first experiences meeting women from Asia in my early 20’s were based squarely around Japan. I’m not really sure why, but that’s just how it happened. The first Japanese woman I ever met online was Akiko, a very modest and polite gal from Nagoya. This was my first experience with Japanese culture, and right away I was amazed by her careful and thoughtful approach to every word she wrote. A very typical Japanese trait actually. I was still rather ignorant at that time, so somehow, Akiko became the baseline in my mind for how all Asian woman were – no matter if they were from China, Thailand, Hong Kong, etc.

This skewed perception is what really screwed me up when I met Jeong (a woman from Seoul) a short time later. She was outgoing. Opinionated. And not afraid to tell me what she was really thinking. At first I thought I’d found an oddity – sure, she was very nice and sweet, but she didn’t fit the “modest Asian girl” perception I had in my mind. Suffice to say, this relationship didn’t last long. The same thing happened after meeting 3 other women from South Korea, and it was then that I realized that I needed to stop thinking of these woman as being “flawed” – it’s just the way Korean culture is, and I needed to stop comparing them to Japanese women ASAP.

Once I changed my way of thinking, meeting Korean women was a much more pleasant experience.

Korean woman are more obsessed about beauty than Japanese women

This is actually not a good thing for you boys out there who aren’t, shall we say, aesthetically pleasing. Based on my own personal experience, the standards are a lot higher in Korea than they are in Japan. I’ve seen some downright ugly white guys with beautiful Japanese women in Japan, but it’s a lot more rare in Korea. All the white guys holding hands with Korean woman in Korea tend to be beautiful and stylish – even moreso than the women they’re with.

Korean woman are not as willing to date outside of their own race

I’m speaking in generalities here, and I don’t like making blanket statements like this, but from my experience, it’s a lot harder for me as a white guy to get the attention of a Korean woman. Japanese women appear to be more willing to date western men – and I get the sense that it’s a bit “stylish” or cool to have a white boyfriend. I’m basing these assumptions on my own dating experiences, as well as looking at what I see walking around Tokyo and Seoul. I see more “white guy boyfriends” on the streets of Tokyo than I do Seoul.

Keep in mind that everyone’s experiences are different, and the way I perceive the differences between Korean and Japanese woman is not how you would see it. I’m just an outsider – a caucasian American male who see’s the world though very US-centric goggles. Are my thoughts incorrect? Maybe, but these are the things I’ve experienced time and time again over the years. Your own perception may be different.

I’m very curious – what do YOU think are the differences between Japanese and Korean women? Please leave a comment below and let me know…

do not do this to your white boyfriend

Japanese and Korean girls: do NOT do this to your caucasian boyfriend

Now that I’ve shared with you something that every white guy needs to avoid doing to his Asian girlfriend, it’s time to turn things around and offer some advice to the Asian ladies. As a white man who has dated his fair share of Asian women, I believe that I’m well qualified to speak on this matter. So listen up good – because I’ve got something to say.

For the most part, dating Asian woman (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc) has been a better fit for me than trying to make it work with caucasian women. Even though I’m whiter than white bread mass produced in Davenport Iowa, I pretty sure that I’ve got a bit of “Asian” in me that makes me gel better with the modesty of most far eastern Asian countries. I’m not the kind of aggressive and outspoken man that most American women tend to gravitate towards, so naturally, I’ve had better luck finding love in Asia.

That said, there are some common things that you Japanese and Korean women do that irritate the heck out of me and make me want to be alone for the rest of my life. I’ve got a long list of these issues, so I’m pushing my shame aside and choosing a few of the bigger ones to discuss:

  • I will not carry a man bag (or “murse” as they are sometimes called). Sorry, my “macho” American culture just won’t let me do it, and I am not trying to insult you when I tell you that it’s just not my style and that I’d rather not do it. Men in the US don’t carry purses. Sorry.
  • Don’t take things so darn personally. If I make a frown face, wrinkle my nose, and shake my head “no” when you ask me something, it does not mean that I think you made a stupid suggestion and that you’re annoying me. It’s just the American way of saying “no thank you” and it’s a really hard habit to let go of when I’m around you. Please don’t be upset with me if I forget.
  • Do not put cute stuffed animals in the back window of my car. You Japanese and Korean women know exactly what it is that I’m talking about, and I’d appreciate it very much if you stop trying to do that.

Of course I realize that there are some very big cultural differences at play between white men and Asian women, and I know that it requires patience for both when in a relationship together. All I’m saying is that the things you push on us are usually the most “un-manly” parts of your culture, and that’s a lot for a white guy to handle. Easing us into your customs is key – the relationship is unlikely to work if you force it on us all at once, so please be a bit patient as we learn the ways of being Asian.

mad asian girlfriend

White guys: do NOT do this to your Japanese or Korean girlfriend

This one is aimed squarely at you, white guys. There are some things that we do that completely annoy Asian women (which I’ll get into in different articles), but this one tops them all. Trust me – it’s a mistake I’ve made several times, and it was after the third time that it happened that something clicked inside of my thick skull and made me realize that it is something that I should not be doing when dating Asian women.

What am I taking about? Well, this might sound kind of silly, but…sarcasm is something that white guys need to keep in check when starting a relationship with an Asian woman. At a very high level, yes, it’s ok to be funny. As a matter of fact, a bit of silliness is what many women (no matter their race, age, religious beliefs, etc) find attractive in a man. But us white guys – especially from the US, UK, and Australia, have a tendency to go too far when it comes to humor and jokes – farther than most Asian cultures are comfortable with. Our humor is more like sarcasm, which many times doesn’t translate well.

Sarcasm is a big turn off to Asian women

Making a joke of everything and being a bit sarcastic has backfired on me several times when dating women from Japan and Korea, and at first I couldn’t understand why things turned sour very suddenly after what seemed like a very good beginning to the relationship. I have the tendency to “let go” and let more of my silly personality show through the more I get to know a person, so when I first meet someone I’m as polite and cordial as can be. But then the true me starts to start showing through, the jokes come more fast and furious, and then…disaster.

There was one time (way back in 2005) that I was chatting online with a woman from Osaka Japan on a bright and early Sunday morning, and things seemed to be going as smoothly as always. I had known her for about two months at this point, and we had been getting along great as well as having a lot to talk about.

But then I made a silly joke about something she said, being a bit sarcastic, not taking care to think that she might not understand that sarcasm. Well, she took what I said the wrong way – she thought I was being serious, was offended, and ended the chat immediately without saying anything. At the time, the younger and stupider me honestly had no idea what had just happened. I thought it was just internet connectivity problems at first, but after the third day of not hearing from her, I knew something was wrong. It wasn’t until after reaching out to her that I learned that my sarcasm was taken the wrong way and she honestly thought I was insulting her. I felt terrible once I had realized what happened.

The sad thing is that I hadn’t learned from that mistake as well as I should have, and the same thing happened with several other women from Japan and Korea over the next few years. Yes, I’m a slow learner.

Don’t make the same mistake I did! Take things slow in the beginning – you can be a bit silly of course, but keep that sarcasm to a minimum if you want the relationship to grow past the first initial dates.

kissing asian woman

Kissing an Asian woman vs. a western woman

Here I go again trying to write about the ways of Asian women without making it sound like an ignorant fool who is painting them all with the same brush. I’m waking on eggshells here I know – and before I go any further, I think I need to make it clear that I *know* that every human being on this planet is unique and it’s a bit on the stupid side to say that “all white people are like this” or “all latinos are like that”. This article is for entertainment purposes only, though everything I am writing about is based on my own real-world experiences.

I’d also like to clarify that I’m hardly the authority when it comes to relationships and dating. My love life has been more awkward and rollercoaster-like (with lots of ups and downs and twists and turns), but I’m not so much of a neanderthal that women are repulsed by me. I’ve had my fair share of relationships, good and bad, with women from all over the world.

Anyone who has dated outside of their own culture or race knows that people are all the same underneath. We all share the same general thoughts, feelings, ways to go about life, etc. We all want to be happy. We all want to succeed. Despite our cultural differences, everyone on this planet is aiming for the same goal, and we all do things the same way – with the differences being in the little details.

One of those little details happens to be kissing. From my (admittedly limited) experience, Asian women kiss differently then a western woman does. Well to be more specific, they way they approach it is different. The actual physical act of swapping spit is the only consistent part about it.

Asian women do not like to kiss in public

Public displays of affection (besides holding hands) are virtually nonexistent in places like Korea and Japan. You just don’t see people kissing and fondling each other in public like you would in a western country like Italy, France, or Spain. Sweeping a European woman off her feet and kissing her madly in a fit of passion – in the city square – would seem like a romantic thing to do, right? As long as if you’re in Europe. Try that in Seoul or Tokyo and you may end up in a big argument instead of a passionate situation.

Asian women are more timid to begin a kiss

Again, I’m only speaking in generalities here. I’ve known Aisan woman who were super aggressive and weren’t shy at all about kissing, but for the most part, kissing in Asia is a very sensuous and private act to be taken slowly – at least at first. Asian culture is far more modest and timid than western cultures, especially when it comes to sexuality, so to all you white guys out there who are dating an Asian woman for the first time: take it slow. Unless, of course, you’ve got yourself a wild one who wants it more than you do…

Once the kiss starts, anything goes

Despite how timid Asian woman are to initiate a kiss, I’ve found that all woman are the same no matter where they are from. Every person has their own kissing technique, and I’ve actually known some Aisan women who are better kissers than western women. So you never really know what you’re going to get when you are with an Asian woman – in the end, the style and technique of her kiss depends entirely on her personality and how into you she really is.

white men asian women dating

Do Asian women like white guys?

First of all, I think this is the stupidest question ever when it comes to dating and relationships. Every human being is unique and has interests rooted in many different areas, so it’s a bit naive and ignorant to wonder if Asian women can be attracted to anything but an Asian man. It’s sort of like asking if all Mexicans eat anything other than tacos for every meal. Yeah, maybe some are on a strict taco-only diet, but come on…let’s be real here. Yes, some Asian women are attracted to white guys. And at the same time, some have absolutely no interest and consider us vile and disgusting creatures. Everyone is different. Just because one Asian girl doesn’t want anything to do with white guys doesn’t mean they’re all like that.

With that out of the way, I’d like to share some tips for you white guys out there that will help you get on the good side of that Asian girl you’re so attracted to. Keep in mind that while I’m speaking in general terms here, I’m more specifically referring to Japanese, Korean, and Chinese women more than the southeastern variety (from places like Thailand, the Philippines, etc). But as I said earlier – every human being is different and it’s dangerous to lump someone from one country against another when describing personality differences. So take all of this with a grain of salt, please:

An Asian girl will be more attracted to you white guys if:

  • You aren’t overly loud and obnoxious. Guys – I know it’s hard to control your emotions at times, but in general, women from Japan and Korea aren’t into guys who are loud and end every sentence of the things they write with “!!!”.
  • You look like Harry Potter. Sorry Vin Diesel lookalikes – big muscles are not as attractive to women from Asia as they are to women from western countries. Boyish good-looks win most every time.
  • You can speak some of their language. Now, you don’t have to be completely fluent, but as long as you make the effort to learn it will show that you have a much deeper interest in her and her culture. Just try – she’ll be happy to help you learn.

Asian women and western men have been dating and marrying ever since the first white man stepped foot in the Orient. And I’m sorry guys, the women of Asia don’t consider white men to be anything more special than a black or latino – we are all the same, and I can assure you that they aren’t going to place their interest in you just because of the color of your skin. Just be yourself, follow the tips above, and hope to heaven almighty that she doesn’t find you repulsive. Just like dating any other woman from any other race, right?

asian woman white man

White guys and Asian women – it’s time we all started talking about it

I think there may be no better introductory post to this blog than to try and explain why it is that I’m doing this. On the surface, it probably sounds creepy as hell that I would choose to take time out of my busy day to write about white guy / Asian girl relationships. What’s the big deal you may ask? Interracial relationships are nothing new, and it’s not like there’s anything wrong with white men and Asian women getting together. Is there really enough about the subject to blog about?

You bet.

First of all, here now at the ripe old age of 42, I’ve got enough dating experience with Asian women under my belt to write books about. And as a matter of fact, that’s exactly what I’m going to do! Western men and Asian women are two different breeds, born from very different cultures and very different ways of looking at life. How is is that the two would find attraction with one another and live happily ever after? My thoughts on this matter are quite lengthy, and you’ll be hearing all about it starting with my next post.

I’m NOT not claiming that I am a manly white god that women can’t resist – as a matter of fact, think the exact opposite of that and you’ll understand quite well what kind of guy I am. I’ve had plenty of relationships with Asian women over the years – not a LOT, but enough to write stories about – and you’re going to hear all the gory details of my failures as well as the pinnacle of my successes.

Asian women and white guys. The two can coexist, and since nobody else is talking about it, I’m launching AsiaGraphix.com to get people talking about it.

This project is 50% entertainment for me, and 50% “giving back”. I’ve got a lot of personal experience to share, I want to help white guys and Asian gals get together and be able to understand each other, and at the same time, I’m curious as heck to where this little project of mine will end up. Let’s find out, shall we?

Welcome to AsiaGraphix.com!