A funny thing happened yesterday afternoon while I was in the car driving to the grocery store. I was listening to a podcast featuring four women talking about relationships, and one of them asked a question about guys and how to gauge their sexual interest. I considered this odd, because as a man myself, I know that men are pretty much attracted to all women in a sexual way. However, for the sake of answering the question, here are 5 clear signs that a man is attracted to you sexually:
- He’ll act really awkward around you
- He’ll put everything else in his life on hold for you
- He’ll ask a lot of questions
- You’ll see a change in his wardrobe
- He’ll be super aggressive
I’m going to discuss all of these things individually in just a moment, but first…
I’d like to expand on why this is such an odd question to ask
You see, men are pigs. Generally speaking of course. Our sole purpose in life (whether we like to admit it or not) is to procreate. As much as your boyfriend, husband, father, brother, and grandfather refuse to admit it, we are all thinking about sex nearly every waking minute of our lives. The first thing we think when we meet an attractive woman is almost always explicitly dirty and would likely get this website blacklisted if I wrote it all out in excruciating detail. But I think you understand what I mean.
My initial reaction to that question was that there are no absolute signs that a man is attracted to you sexually. There’s a lot of gray area, and that’s what I assumed that I would be writing about before I started outlining this article.
However (after thinking about it for a bit) I realized that maybe I was thinking about it far too simplistically. I mean, there have been many situations in my own life where I’ve become friends with a woman that I wasn’t sexually attracted to. It happens. And in those cases, I totally understand why a woman would be seeking clues that would reveal whether or not a man is sexually attracted to her.
Anyway, without dragging this out too long, let’s just get right into it.
5 clear signs that a man is attracted to you sexually
I would like to point out that all of what I’m about to write is based on my own experience and the things I felt when I have (and have not) been sexually attracted to a particular woman. However, I do believe my feelings are common and all of this applies for many men.
1. He’ll act really awkward around you
Thinking back on all the women in my life who I was sexually attracted to in a major way, there was one common feeling I had across all of those experiences: nervousness.
In every one of those situations, I was so incredibly self-conscious and nervous because I didn’t want to screw things up and ruin my chances. Of course this usually meant that I way over-corrected, which resulted in me acting clumsy and awkward all the time.
Some of the most embarrassing moments in my life have occurred when I was talking to a woman that I wanted to have a sexual relationship with. We’re talking shaking hands, blushing, and…even stuttering. When it comes to acting cool when talking with women I find attractive, I’m basically a hot mess. And you know what? I’ve seen a lot of other guys act the same way as well.
So… Ladies! All those guys in your life who act nervous around you? They’re attracted to you. Big time. As a matter fact, nervous interactions are probably the easiest way to tell if a man is attracted to you sexually.
2. He’ll put everything else in his life on hold for you
Using myself as an example, I have far too many interests in life. I’m always jumping from one thing to another, and I always feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day.
However, every single time that I’ve met a woman that I was sexually attracted to, all of that stopped. It was sudden and abrupt, because all of my time and energy was put into her. My output at work slowed down, I had reduced interest in longtime hobbies, and I usually found myself sleeping less as well.
It’s a lot of work to court a woman, and if I’m willing to drop everything else in my life to focus on someone I’m attracted to, that’s huge.
By the way, this is precisely why I’ve always been attracted to Vietnamese women. It’s especially easy to tell when a Vietnamese woman is interested in a man, so it makes my life a lot easier. You western women are a lot more difficult to read and it’s a lot more work for us guys!
3. He’ll ask a lot of questions
One of the biggest signs that a man is attracted to you sexually is if he asks you a lot about you and your personal life. This is because he needs to know more about you so that he can do the things that you might find attractive.
Yes, guys are incredibly odd this way, but it’s what we do. We just can’t help it.
If you’ve been a long-time leader of AsiaGraphix, you’ll know by now that my preference is for Asian women. It’s too deep of a subject to get into here, but if you’re curious, I recently wrote a post listing out all the ways that Asian girls are underrated. I’d recommend reading that to get get more information about how my mind works.
Anyway, the reason for telling you that was because I’m just a white guy born and raised in the US, and I know very little about traditional Asian culture. That’s why, whenever I meet a woman (whether if she’s from Japan, Korea, China, or wherever), I’m always asking questions. Lots of questions.
Conversely, thinking back on all the women that I’ve met who I’ve never been sexually attracted to, I feel far less motivated to ask questions. Quite frankly, I just don’t care.
4. You’ll see a change in his wardrobe
Another common thing that I’ve done after meeting a woman that I am sexually attracted to is to refresh my entire wardrobe. Yeah, it’s kind of weird and I can’t really explain why I do it. Maybe it’s because I feel like a peacock and my instincts tell me that she’ll be attracted to colorful feathers or something? I don’t know.
What I do know is that purging my closet and upgrading to all the latest fashions has been a common thing for me. So common as a matter of fact that I’d imagine all the women I’ve ever been involved with over the years have noticed this and are likely to remember me because of it. Whether or not that’s a good thing is a topic for another post but I’ll just leave it at that.
Ladies, fancy new clothes on a guy who traditionally wears shorts and T-shirts everywhere is one of the clearest signs that he is attracted to you sexually.
5. He’ll be super aggressive
One of the biggest reasons why I hate being a guy is because it’s necessary to be the alpha male sometimes. This is a problem for me since I am typically quiet and introverted in daily life, and being pushy and aggressive just isn’t my style.
On the other hand, I’m glad I’m not a girl because I don’t know if I could handle the constant onslaught of pushy and aggressive men coming at them from every direction.
Aggressiveness is easily the clearest sign that a man is attracted to you sexually. If he wants it, he’s gonna let you know. This isn’t true in all cases of course, since I’ve never been one to be aggressive and annoying. But I’m far from being normal. 99 times out of 100, aggressiveness is how guys play the game.
It’s so common actually, that this should be you’re number one gauge to determine if a man is attracted to you sexually or not. If he’s not being pushy, it probably means call he’s not interested.
A few more signs that he’s NOT sexually attracted to you
To end this off, I thought it might be fun to list out more things to watch for if you’re concerned that he just might not be into you:
- He’ll forget important dates like birthdays and anniversaries. I’m not a forgetful guy for anything, but of all the times that I’ve forgot, it was because I just didn’t care enough about that particular person. Sad, but true.
- He’ll act like a slob around you. Seriously – if a guy is sexually attracted to you, he’s going to do everything within his power to look like a suitable mate. Burping, farting, and just looking like a mess means that he doesn’t respect you.
- He doesn’t return phone calls or texts in a timely manner. Think about this. Of all the people you talk to on social media and instant messaging, how do you usually respond to the people you just don’t care about? Chances are you’ll take days to respond – if you respond at all. If he’s doing the same to you, that’s a bad sign.