4 things you MUST know about dating Chinese women

By Doug •  9 min read

I’m just going to come right out and say it: if you’ve never tried dating Chinese women before, it may be one of the most interesting things you’ll ever do in life. I mean that in both a good way and a bad way of course, as there are certainly some pros and cons that you’ll need to know about (and which I’ll list out in a moment). In the meantime, here are 4 things you must know about dating women from China:

  1. Chinese women aren’t typical “Asian girls”
  2. Chinese women have no shame (especially older Chinese women)
  3. You will be dating her family as well
  4. Warning: some Chinese women have a very opinionated view about Western politics

All of these points are explained in greater detail below. However, before proceeding any further, it’s important to understand that Chinese women are very much like American women. They are bold, usually confident, and not afraid to speak their mind.

Everything you need to know about dating Chinese women

Even though it may sound like I’ve set you up to be prepared for the worst, there’s nothing to worry about. Dating in China is very much like it is in the western world. This means that the cultural norms are relatively the same. Not only that, the roles of both men and women in a relationship should be common to you if you live in a western country.

With that being said, let’s just get into the list of all the things you’re going to have to know if you want to succeed with this:

1. Chinese women aren’t typical “Asian girls”

I figured I would start with the most stereotypical (and possibly ignorant) American-centric points first. Yes, I do realize that China is at the core of Asia and all Chinese people are considered to be “Asians.”

What I mean about Chinese women not being like typical Asian girls is that they aren’t as submissive and polite as you might expect if all that you’re used to is dating Japanese girls. FYI, I’ve written extensively about Japanese vs Chinese women in the past – there are a lot of differences between the two that you need to know about.

I realize I’m digging myself my own grave the more that I write about this, but I’m just trying to be as blunt as I can. There’s no denying that Chinese women (especially Shanghai women) are more strong-minded and outspoken than women from other Asian countries, and that’s all I’m trying to say here.

Another way of saying it is that dating Chinese women is a completely different experience than dating Korean women. Or Japanese women. Or Filipinas. Or…whatever.

I’m not saying that you’ll have a totally miserable experience if you decide to date a Chinese woman. Not at all.  You just need to know that she is unlikely to be the shy and quiet “typical” Asian girl you see in movies and television.

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Lucky guy! How much you want to bet that he read this article?

2. Chinese women have no shame

Just like many American women, Chinese women have no shame when it comes to basic human manners and decency. Once she gets comfortable with you, she’ll let her guard down and do whatever she needs to do to be comfortable. She’ll burp. She’ll fart (yes, Asian girls really do fart). Heck – she’ll even tell you when she’s about to go take a dump. Very proudly, no less.

For example, I was out walking in the park yesterday afternoon and I noticed a mixed-race family with a Caucasian American husband and a Chinese wife. While the husband was playing with their child in the grass, the wife was standing in the shadows stretching. Every time she would change positions, she would lean over and spit into the grass without trying to hide it. No shame at all.

And being that I live in California mixed in with a very large Chinese population, I see this sort of thing all the time.

Again, I can imagine myself digging the hole deeper as I just wrote that, as it probably sounds like I am painting all women from China with a broad stereotypical brush that makes them seem like horrible human beings. I just want to clarify that this is not the case at all. The things I’m writing are in good humor.

As a matter of fact, I’ve got tons of respect for anyone who feels comfortable enough to do what they want without giving a **** what other people think. In that way, Chinese woman are amazing.

3.You will be dating her family as well

Dating a Chinese woman is complicated. Not only will you have to do your best to make sure that she stays satisfied and happy, you have to make sure that her family stays satisfied and happy as well.

Family is a very important part of Chinese culture. They stick together for their entire lives, and it’s not uncommon for the children to financially support their parents as they grow older.  This may not be something you have to worry about when you’re dating a Chinese girl, but it will be if and when you get married.

These are the things that you can expect to deal with when dating in China (specifically in regards to family):

4. Warning: some Chinese women have a very opinionated view about Western politics (and they’re not afraid to talk about it)

As we all know, Chinese politics and western politics mix together like oil and water. Chinese people are raised to believe one set of political norms, while Western people are raised to believe the exact opposite. It’s no surprise that we don’t see eye to eye on things. That’s just the way it goes.

Because of these vast differences in opinion, you’ll have to expect that heated political debates will be a thing that you’ll have to engage in often when you’re dating women in China.

In my personal experience, this hasn’t been as common as I thought it would be. Chinese women like American men, so they expect to have to deal with political differences when dating a guy from the US.

Heated political debate happens, but not a super common thing. Especially if you’re talking to a Chinese woman outside of China. Chinese people who travel outside of their own country are typically more open and curious about the ways of the western world than those who never travel.

All I’m saying is this: if you want to start dating women from China, you’re going to have to prepare yourself for the possibility of some heated political discussion from time to time.

Pros and cons of dating a Chinese woman

I hope that I haven’t scared you. Dating a native Chinese woman can be difficult, but it can also be a very enjoyable experience. Chinese culture is rich in all the things that we lack in western culture, and this will likely be one of the most interesting adventures that you’ll ever partake in.



One final thing you’re going to need to know if you want to have a successful dating life in China

Be patient! Chinese women can be very opinionated at times, and it’s important for you not to be offended by it. Every Chinese woman that I’ve ever known has not been shy about letting me know about her true feelings on certain topics. It’s part of the culture, and something to respect.

Support her ideas. Engage in light political debate. If it gets too heated, back off and draw some boundaries about what kind of topics are OK and not OK to talk about. When a Chinese woman likes you, she’ll respect your opinion as well.


My name is Doug, and I'm an ordinary white guy living in the US. 10 years ago I married a Japanese woman that I met online, and it's been an adventure to say the least! I started AsiaGraphix.com as a way to share all the lessons I've learned about dating (and ultimately marrying) an Asian woman.

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