It’s really not that hard to figure out if a Chinese woman likes you

By Doug •  9 min read

All I can say is that I’m glad I’m married now. If I were still young and single, I’d be bashing my head against the wall trying to figure out women from China. I like Chinese woman. I always have. But they are extremely difficult to read, and I embarrassed myself more times than I care to admit when misinterpreting their signals. The good news is that I learned a few things along the way. Here is how to tell if a Chinese woman likes you:

Because I’ve had such difficulty with this in the past, and I want make sure that I am giving you as accurate information as possible, I reached out to my friend Shan Shan for help on this.

FYI, she’s a native Chinese citizen living here in the US with her husband and three kids. She spent the first 30 years of her life in China, and is very much an expert on the Chinese female mindset. Interestingly enough, she told me lot of things that I hadn’t even considered before when it came to dating Chinese women. She also told me about some important things to know about dating Chinese women too, which was eye-opening.

This is going to be good. Get out a notepad and a pencil, because you’re gonna want to take some notes…

How to tell if a Chinese woman likes you in 6 easy steps

Again, some of this is from my own personal experience dealing Chinese women when I was still single. The bulk of this, however, comes directly from from my friend Shan Shan. She was extremely kind and generous enough to shed some light on what goes on inside the mind of a Chinese woman when it comes to dating.

Here are some very obvious (and not so obvious) clues to pick up on:

1. She won’t stay out of your DM‘s

Generally speaking, Chinese women are very tech savvy. At home in China, they spend the majority of their time on WeChat or Line. However, even though popular western-based social media like Instagram and Twitter are banned in China, that doesn’t stop them from using that those platforms as well. VPNs are easily accessible, and are widely used by people all over China to access content from the outside world.

Anyway, Shan Shan and told me that the primary form of communication for most women in China is text messaging. I believe this to be true, since all the Chinese women I’ve ever known in my life were masters of lightning-quick text communications that I could never keep up with. Especially at work!

Just as frequent (and lightning fast) text messaging is one of the signs that a Korean woman likes you, it’s very much the same for Chinese women.

The important thing to know is this: don’t worry if the Chinese woman that you are attracted to doesn’t ever call you or email you. If she’s taking the initiative to direct message you or text you out of the blue for any reason, it means that you’re on her mind and she is looking for conversation.

2. She keeps coming back after disappearing for a while

Let’s face it. Dating can be extremely frustrating at times. We’ve all been ghosted a time or two. However, being ghosted and having a conversation fizzle out isn’t always a bad thing. It’s the natural flow communication and conversation, and sometimes things will be a little slow. It’s OK.

However, women from all regions of China are notoriously persistent. For example, when comparing Japanese women vs Chinese women, Chinese woman can be aggressive when going after things that they really want. Japanese women are far more passive and less aggressive.

Don’t worry if the Chinese woman that you’ve been texting disappears for a bit. You’ll know things are okay when she contacts you again. As we all know, it’s awkward to get a conversation started again from scratch. If she’s taking the initiative to do that with you, it means there’s some level of interest there.

3. She suddenly gets shy when she’s around you

For the most part, Chinese women are more outgoing and social than women from other Asian countries. Of course everybody is different and there are indeed lots of shy Chinese women out there. I’m just speaking in generalities, that’s all.

For example, all the Chinese women that I’ve ever encountered during my time in the corporate world were aggressive –  and not shy – about speaking their mind. Every single one. And I spent 20 years in the tech industry, so yeah – I’ve worked with my fair share of women from China.

If you happen to be interested in a woman from China with a strong personality, it’s going to be really easy to tell if she likes you or not.

Take notice of her demeanor when she’s around you:

4. She’s super-eager to teach you about Chinese culture

This is an easy clue to pick up on. It may not seem obvious at first, but it’s a good way of telling you whether or not that she’s investing into a deeper friendship with you.

If she likes you (and she wants to spend more time with you) she wants you to understand her as thoroughly as you can. Most Chinese people are very proud of their country. If a Chinese woman is always working in little nuggets of information about Chinese culture when speaking with you, that means that she’s trying to pull you in closer to who she really is.

If you want to get a head start on this, I suggest reading all about Chinese women (and the role they play in Chinese culture) on Wikipedia. It’s a good read.

Anyway, this is something that I never really picked up on before, but it made total sense when Shan Shan explained it to me. Think about the people in your own life. It’s far less likely that you’ll be willing to take the effort to explain things about your own culture to the people you don’t care about.

5. She brings you gifts

When a Chinese woman brings you gifts, it’s serious. This is a very common way for women all over the world to express their interest in a guy, and it’s something that I explained in my explanation about how to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you.

However, it’s a little different when it comes to Chinese women. You see, giving gifts to others it’s not as common in Chinese culture as it is in Vietnamese culture. It is perfectly acceptable, and very much appreciated of course, but it is not the primary way to show love and affection for another person.

If she goes out of her way to bring you gifts when she sees you (no matter how small the gift may be), it’s a very clear sign that she likes you. Not only that, it’s in your best interest to return the favor to show her that you are interested in her as well.

6. She starts talking to you about your interests

Chinese women are very similar to American women in the sense that they are more selfish and self indulgent than people from other countries (it’s actually one of the reasons why Chinese women like American men). So – when she starts asking you questions about your hobbies and your interests, this is a very good way to tell if a Chinese woman likes you or not.

If she never makes the effort to show an interest in your hobbies (whether that interest is fake or not), that’s probably a sign that she is not interested in you.

Shan Shan also told me that when a Chinese woman does this, they may not even try to hide what they are doing. Sometimes, when she starts talking to you about your hobbies and interests, she’s purposefully digging deep and hoping that you will notice that she is very interested in you.

A few final thoughts about trying to figure out whether or not a Chinese woman is interested in you

The most important take away from all of this is that Chinese women are very much like American women. They can be confident and bold, but it takes a bit more effort to get them to show their true feelings.

Knowing whether or not a Filipina likes you is one thing. Knowing how to tell if a Thai woman likes you is anther. However, knowing whether or not that a Chinese woman likes you is yet another thing altogether. I’ll admit that I never fully mastered it when I was young and single, and I’ll probably still be struggling with it a bit today if I was still out there in the dating world.

If you sense her giving off any of the signs or signals I discussed above, take advantage of them! There’s no harm in trying, though it’s important not to go overboard with your response. Don’t embarrass yourself like I did when I was still single and dating Asian women…


Doug is just an ordinary white guy living in the midwestern United States. He's been married to an amazing Japanese woman since 2010, and has created to share his experiences with international dating and marriage (the good and the bad),

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