All I can say is that I’m glad I’m married now. When I was still single, I was bashing my head against the wall trying to figure out women from China.
They can be extremely difficult to read at first, and I’ve embarrassed myself more times than I care to admit when misinterpreting their signals. The good news is that I learned that it really isn’t so difficult (and that I was trying way too hard).
This is how to tell if a Chinese woman likes you:
- She won’t stay out of your DM‘s
- She keeps coming back after disappearing for a while
- She suddenly gets shy when she’s around you
- She’s super-eager to teach you about Chinese culture
- She brings you gifts
- She starts talking to you about your interests
Because I’ve had such difficulty with this in the past, and I want make sure that I am giving you the most accurate (and useful) information as possible, I reached out to my friend Shan Shan for help on this.
She’s a native Chinese citizen living here in the US with her husband and three kids. She spent the first 30 years of her life in China, and is very much an expert on the Chinese female mindset.
Interestingly enough, she told me lot of things that I hadn’t even considered before when it came to dating Chinese women. She also told me about some important things to know about dating Chinese women too, which was eye-opening.
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6 ways to tell if a Chinese woman likes you
Again, some of this is from my own personal experience dealing Chinese women when I was still single. The bulk of this, however, comes directly from from my friend Shan Shan. She was extremely kind and generous enough to shed some light on what goes on inside the mind of a Chinese woman when it comes to dating.
Here are some very obvious (and not so obvious) clues to pick up on:
1. She won’t stay out of your DM‘s
Generally speaking, Chinese women are very tech savvy. They spend the majority of their time on WeChat or Line. However, even though popular western-based social media platforms such as Instagram and X are banned in China, that doesn’t stop them from using that those platforms as well. VPNs are easily accessible, and are widely used by people all over China to access content from the outside world.
Shan Shan confirmed that the primary form of communication for most women in China is text messaging. I believe this to be true, since all the Chinese women I’ve ever known in my life were masters of lightning-quick text communications that I could never keep up with.
Just as frequent (and lightning fast) text messaging is one of the signs that a Korean woman likes you, it’s very much the same for Chinese women.
Don’t worry if the woman that you are attracted to doesn’t ever call you or email you. If she’s taking the initiative to direct message or text you out of the blue (for any reason), it means that you’re on her mind. She is looking for conversation.
2. She keeps coming back after disappearing for a while
Let’s face it. We’ve all been ghosted before, and it sucks. However, being ghosted and having a conversation fizzle out isn’t always a bad thing. It’s the natural flow communication and conversation in humans, and sometimes things will be a little slow. It’s OK.
However, women from all regions of China are notoriously persistent. For example, when comparing Japanese women vs Chinese women, Chinese woman can be aggressive when going after things that they really want. Japanese women are far more passive.
Don’t worry if the Chinese woman that you’ve been texting disappears for a bit. You’ll know things are okay when she contacts you again. As we all know, it’s awkward to get a conversation started again from scratch. If she’s taking the initiative to do that with you, it means there’s some level of interest there.
3. She suddenly gets shy when she’s around you
For the most part, Chinese women are more outgoing and social than women from other Asian countries. Of course everybody is different and there are a lot of shy Chinese women out there. I’m just speaking in generalities.
For example, all the Chinese women that I’ve ever encountered during my 20 years in the corporate world were aggressive – and not shy – about speaking their mind. Every single one.
If you happen to be interested in a woman from China with a strong personality, it’s going to be really easy to tell if she likes you or not.
Take notice of her demeanor when she’s around you:
- Does she act the same around you compared to others? Well, it probably means that she’s not really into you.
- Does she seem nicer and more friendly with you compared to everyone else? That’s a good sign! If she suddenly switches to being sweet and nice when having a conversation with you, you’re in.
- Is she not afraid to look directly at you (without breaking away) when having a conversation? That’s a great sign as well. As a matter of fact, this is also a really good way to know how to tell if a Taiwanese girl likes you or not.
4. She’s super-eager to teach you about Chinese culture
This is an easy clue to pick up on. It may not seem obvious at first, but it’s a good way of telling you whether or not that she’s seeking a deeper friendship with you.
If she likes you (and she wants to spend more time with you) she wants you to understand her as thoroughly as you can. Most Chinese people are very proud of their heritage. If a Chinese woman is always working in little nuggets of information about Chinese culture when speaking with you, that means that she’s trying to pull you in a little closer.
If you want to get a head start on this, I suggest reading all about Chinese women (and the role they play in Chinese culture) on Wikipedia. She’ll be thrilled to know that you’re interested as well.
This is something that I never really picked up on before, but it made total sense when Shan Shan explained it to me. Think about the people in your own life. It’s far less likely that you’ll be willing to take the effort to explain things about your own culture to the people you don’t care as much about.
5. She brings you gifts
When a Chinese woman brings you gifts, it’s serious. This is a very common way for women all over the world to express their interest in a guy, and it’s something that I explained in my explanation about how to tell if a Vietnamese woman likes you.
However, it’s a little different when it comes to Chinese women.
Giving gifts to others it’s not as common in Chinese culture as it is in Vietnamese culture. It is perfectly acceptable, and very much appreciated of course, but it is not the primary way to show love and affection for another person.
If she goes out of her way to bring you gifts when she sees you (no matter how small the gift may be), it’s a very clear sign that she likes you. Not only that, it’s in your best interest to return the favor with gifts of your own.
6. She starts talking to you about your interests
Chinese women are very similar to American women in the sense that they are more selfish and self-indulgent than people from other countries (it’s actually one of the reasons why Chinese women like American men). So – when she starts asking you questions about your hobbies and your interests, this is a very good way to tell if a Chinese woman likes you or not.
If she never makes the effort to show an interest in your hobbies (whether that interest is fake or not), that’s probably a sign that she is not interested in you.
Shan Shan also told me that when a Chinese woman does this, they may not even try to hide what they are doing. Sometimes, when she starts talking to you about your hobbies and interests, she’s purposefully digging deep and hoping that you will notice that she is very interested in you.
A few final thoughts
Before you go running off to online dating websites (such as eHarmony), know this: Chinese women are very much like American women. They can be confident and bold, but it takes a bit more effort to get them to show their true feelings.
Knowing whether or not a Filipina likes you is one thing. Knowing how to tell if a Thai woman likes you is anther. However, knowing whether or not that a Chinese woman likes you is yet another thing altogether. I’ll admit that I never fully mastered it when I was young and single, and I’d probably still be struggling with it a bit today if I was still out there in the dating world.
If you sense her giving off any of the signs or signals I discussed above, take advantage of them! There’s no harm in trying, though it’s important not to go overboard with your response. Don’t embarrass yourself like I did when I was still single and looking to mingle…
