Knowing how to tell if a Japanese woman likes you or not is complicated. I know this because I’ve been married to a Japanese woman since 2010.
I also dated a handful of Japanese women before that, so I’ve got a significant amount of first-hand experience with this:
- The most obvious sign is that she will seem extremely interested in everything that you have to say. Even the oddball stuff.
- She might also be very proactive in setting up dates – to the point where you’ll hardly have to do anything.
- She’ll probably even buy you clothes.
That said, it’s extremely difficult to read Japanese women sometimes. Let me explain…
How to tell if a Japanese woman likes you
Trying to figure out if it Vietnamese woman likes you is easy. It’s also easy to read the signs that Korean woman likes you. However, you may get mixed signals from a Japanese woman.
I’ll get to those in a moment, but let’s first look at all of the things that she might do that’ll give you some clues:
She’ll be extremely interested in everything you have to say
I’m sure this has a lot to do with Japanese culture, but my wife (and all the Japanese woman I’ve known before her) got a very cute / funny / excited expression on their face when they become interested in something.
- Her eyes get big
- She will look as if she is concentrating deeply
- She’ll move in very close to your face. It’s almost uncomfortable how close they can get when they’re listening so deeply.
Every Japanese woman that I’ve been in a relationship with has done these things. If you’re talking to a Japanese woman and she looks extremely interested, that’s a pretty good way to tell that she likes you.
She’ll look for every opportunity to serve you
As an American, this is one part of Japanese culture that is still uncomfortable to me. Japan is still a bit behind the times in terms of equal rights for women, and it is a perfectly normal for men to expect their wives to cook and clean.
Not only that, Japan has one of the best service cultures in the entire world. You’ll understand us the moment you fly on a Japanese airline or walk into a Japanese store.
- A Japanese woman that likes you will stop at nothing to make sure you’re comfortable.
- She’ll cook for you
- She’ll clean for you
- If there’s nothing to do, she might sit and wait until you ask her to do something. This is one of the things you’ll have to expect when dating a Japanese girl.
FYI, my Japanese wife has become very Americanized over the course of our marriage, and she doesn’t do these things as much as she used to. However, she’s still very good to me and I appreciate it immensely.
She will completely change her life to be with you
If you didn’t know, I’m a white guy born and raised in the United States. When I first started dating Japanese women online, it was a fun and new experience. I was looking for a friend – not a wife.
However, nearly every single woman that I met started making very aggressive plans to quit her job and come to the US after just a few short months of email conversation.
It was kind of a turn off at first. Especially considering that I wasn’t even looking for a long-term relationship.
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She will buy you clothes
Fashion is a big deal in Japan. This will become abundantly clear once you start dating a Japanese woman. Not only will she dress nice for nearly every occasion, she will make an effort to get you to dress nicely as well.
In my experience, Japanese women do like American men – but they aren’t a big fan of the way they dress.
Every Japanese woman that I’ve ever dated has given me the gift of clothing at some point or another. Most of it consisted of typical fashion items that are popular with Japanese men (scarves, handbags, sweaters, etc.).
As a matter of fact, I haven’t had to buy clothes for myself in the past 10 years. My wife still does that for me. And I’m not complaining.
Why it’s difficult to tell if a Japanese woman likes you
Of all the Asian women that I’ve dated in my younger years, it was the Japanese women that were the hardest to read. As a matter fact, it’s one of the primary reasons why I wrote an entire guide explaining how to date a Japanese woman without feeling like a fool.
I’m not even ashamed to admit that my Japanese wife still confuses the heck out of me to this day. Here’s why:
Japanese women are too dang polite
Japanese people will stop at nothing to be polite. They hate confrontation, and they will pretend to be nice long enough to make a bad situation go away.
I know this because my wife does this all the time. She tells me that all Japanese people do it.
For example, if a complete stranger walked up to her and said something mean, she would just smile, shake her head, bow slightly, and do her best to de-escalate the situation.
To the person being mean to her, it would seem like she accepted the insult, succumbed to the fact that she deserved it, and then thanked that person for being brave enough to insult her.
However, on the inside, I can assure you that she would be fuming (and likely plotting ninja-style revenge). Japanese women are truly masters at making any emotion seem like ultimate kindness.
A Japanese woman won’t tell you what she’s really thinking
When somebody asks me what Japanese girls are like, my first answer is usually: “confusing”. I don’t mean this in a bad way though.
For example, my wife and I have an overhead fan in our bedroom that is on nearly all summer long. We generally agree on the ideal sleeping temperature, but sometimes there’s friction. Neither one of us is looking for a fight though, and we’re willing to compromise to keep the other as comfortable as possible.
This sounds great in theory, but the problem is that she won’t tell me if the fan setting that I chose made her too warm or too cold.
Even if she is buried under a mountain of blankets, she won’t tell me that she’s too cold. She’ll simply smile, tell me it’s fine, and then change the subject.
This is one of the biggest differences when it comes to comparing Japanese vs Chinese women. A Chinese woman won’t be afraid to tell you what she is really thinking.
The differences between Japanese and Korean woman are more subtle IMHO. A Korean woman won’t usually be as honest as a Chinese woman, but she will be more careful about what she says (generally).
One final thing to note about Japanese women and how they show interest in men
In my experience, there are pros and cons of dating a Japanese woman. Not only that, dating a Japanese woman is a lot different than marrying one.
- When you’re dating, she will act polite and pretend that everything is OK – even when it’s not.
- When you’re married, she will pretend everything is OK in public, but then let her true emotions fly in the privacy of your own home. It’s just one of the cons of marrying a Japanese woman, and it’s something you probably won’t be able to fix.
It takes a while for Japanese women to open up and be comfortable with a guy. Just because she’s being extremely polite and nice to you doesn’t mean that she likes you.
However, it’s easy to figure out if you notice any of the signs that I listed above. It’s not easy dating Japanese women, but if you can figure it out, it’s totally worth it!
