Subtle differences between Japanese and Korean women

By Doug •  6 min read

There are some very big differences when it comes to comparing Korean women vs Japanese women. Especially from the eyes of a typical white guy (like me). It’s easier for me to spot these differences since I’m considered an “outsider”, and therefore, I feel somewhat safe saying what I’m about to say.

They way I learned about the differences between Korean women vs Japanese woman was crude (but effective)

Any white guy who has been in a relationship with both Japanese and Korean women at any point in their lives know how very different they are from each other. I didn’t know this when I first entered the dating scene. It really came as a big shock to me.

Keep in mind that I grew up deep in the American Midwest, and up until my late teens I thought all Asian people were pretty much the same. It never even occurred to me to ask important questions. Questions such as: “what are Japanese girls like?” If I wouldn’t have been so culturally ignorant in my youth, my transition into adulthood would have been so much smoother.

Yeah, I was a very sheltered and ignorant boy, and I didn’t personally know any Asian people who could have broke me from thinking the stereotypical things most ignorant Americans (including myself) think about people from the far east.

Japanese and Korean woman differences

I’m not sure, but I’m thinking that she’s laughing at me for being so ignorant about the differences between Japanese and Korean women.

My education about the differences between Japanese and Korean women came as soon as I started to meet them, and as you can imagine, my early dating years were disastrous to say the least. Thankfully I’ve learned quite a bit since those awkward early days, and I’d like to take this opportunity to share with you some of the most important things I’ve learned over the years:

Korean women tend to be more outgoing than Japanese women

This actually came as a really big shock to me. My first experiences meeting women from Asia in my early 20’s were based squarely around Japan. I’m not really sure why, but that’s just how it happened. The first Japanese woman I ever met online was Akiko, a very modest and polite gal from Nagoya.

This was my first experience with Japanese culture, and right away I was amazed by her careful and thoughtful approach to every word she wrote. A very typical trait for a Japanese woman actually. I was still rather ignorant at that time, so somehow, Akiko became the baseline in my mind for how all Asian woman were – no matter if they were from China, Thailand, Hong Kong, etc.

This skewed perception is what really screwed me up when I met Jeong (a woman from Seoul) a short time later. She was outgoing. Opinionated. And not afraid to tell me what she was really thinking.

At first I thought I’d found an oddity. Sure, she was very nice and sweet, but she didn’t fit the “modest Asian girl” perception I had in my mind. Suffice to say, this relationship didn’t last long. The same thing happened after meeting 3 other women from South Korea, and it was then that I realized that I needed to stop thinking of these woman as being “flawed”. It’s just the way Korean culture is, and I needed to stop comparing them to Japanese women ASAP.

Once I changed my way of thinking, dating Korean women was a much more pleasant experience.

Korean woman are more obsessed about beauty than Japanese women

This is absolutely NOT a good thing for all you boys out there who aren’t, shall we say, “aesthetically pleasing”. Based on my own personal experience, the standards of what a good looking guy seems to be a lot higher in Korea than they are in Japan.

I’ve seen some downright ugly white guys with beautiful Japanese women in Japan, but it’s a lot more rare in Korea. All the white guys holding hands with Korean women in Korea tend to be beautiful and stylish – even moreso than the women they’re with.

Korean woman are not as willing to date outside of their own race

I’m speaking in generalities here, and I don’t like making blanket statements like this. But from my experience, knowing how to tell if a Japanese woman likes you is easy. It’s a lot harder for a white guy to understand (and get the attention) of a Korean woman.

Japanese women appear to be more willing to date western men – and I get the sense that it’s a bit “stylish” or “cool” to have a white boyfriend. I’m basing these assumptions on my own dating experiences, as well as looking at what I see when walking around Tokyo and Seoul. I see more “white guy boyfriends” on the streets of Tokyo than I do Seoul.

Keep in mind that everyone’s experiences are different, and the way I perceive the differences between Korean and Japanese woman may not be how you would see it. I’m just an outsider – a caucasian American male who see’s the world though very US-centric goggles. Are my thoughts ignorant and biased? Maybe. But these are the things I’ve experienced time and time again over the years. Your own perception (and experiences) may be different.

I’m very curious – what do YOU think are the differences between Japanese and Korean women? Please leave a comment below and let me know…

The sex is different

Having sex with a Japanese woman is a lot different than having sex with a Korean woman. Japanese women tend to be more reserved and careful, but (oddly enough) more open to the discussion of sex. Korean women, on the other hand, hardly ever talk about sex (casual sex is more taboo in Korea than it is in Japan). They are usually more aggressive and willing to try new things in the bedroom.


My name is Doug, and I'm an ordinary white guy living in the US. 10 years ago I married a Japanese woman that I met online, and it's been an adventure to say the least! I started as a way to share all the lessons I've learned about dating (and ultimately marrying) an Asian woman.

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