Do older Asian women like white guys?

By Doug •  8 min read

As I get older, I’m becoming wiser. As each year goes by, I feel as if I’ve learned more about women and the way they operate. I’ll tell you what – I can only dream of having the knowledge I have now back when I was in my 20s and still single. It would’ve been a total game changer! Anyway, I know there are a lot of you guys out there who are mature in your years and you’re looking for someone your own age. The question is: do older Asian women like white guys?

The short answer to that question is YES. Older Asian women absolutely do like white guys. However, it’s important to know that (compared to younger Asian women), there are some differences in complications. Let’s have a deeper look at all of those right now:

Older Asian women DO like white guys, but…

First of all, just as I do in all of the articles that I write here on, I need to say that these are my opinions only based on my own personal experiences. Take them for what they’re worth.

1. Single older Asian women are extremely difficult to find

All I can say is that I’m extremely glad that I am older and married now. If I were still single and looking for an Asian woman in her 30s, 40s, or 50s, I know for a fact that I would be miserable.

My hypothesis for this theory comes from observing and analyzing the things I see on Instagram. Not that I consider Instagram to be the gold standard for meeting women or anything, but it’s where single people go to chat and mingle whether they like to admit it or not.

Anyway, when one of the things that I’ve noticed is that that there are an extremely small number of older Asian women on Instagram who have a public profile. Most women in this age bracket tend to either make their profiles private, or they reveal nothing personal about themselves. You’re either going to see an entire feed containing pics of her kids, or you’re going to see that big gray lock icon.

Older Asian women don’t put themselves “out there” as much as women from western countries. So – if you’re into mature ladies, you’re gonna have to go online to places such as eHarmony. Even then, from what I’ve been told, it’s slim pickings.

[lasso ref=”eharmony-japanese-dating” id=”834″ link_id=”358″]

Divorce rates are much lower in Asia they are in other parts of the world, so the chances of finding a completely amazing single Asian lady over 35 are low.

2. Older Asian women are more traditional

And by traditional, I mean they tend to date and marry only within their own race. Asian women older than 40 won’t be as willing to get involved with a white guy as much as a 20-year-old would. This stems from her conservative traditional values passed down from her parents and grandparents (who would NEVER allow marriage to a Westerner).

However, in this day and age with the Internet and social media being so prevalent,  those traditional values aren’t held as tightly as they had been before. It’s extremely easy to make international friends online (especially with Instagram), so unfortunately the cultures of many of these Asian countries have been diluted somewhat. It’s not completely uncommon to see older Asian women with white guys these days.

3. Older Asian women tend to speak less English than the younger generation

For me, this has always been the biggest barrier to dating women from Asia. Back when I was young and single, call English wasn’t as prevalent in many Asian cultures as it is today. And that made it extremely difficult to meet women from any Asian country online.

Of course all of those women that I was trying to meet back then are my age now. Mid 40s, very deeply entrenched into their own culture, busy with life and not having much time to learn English.

It’s for that reason that finding an older Asian woman (that you can really connect with) will be more difficult then someone from a different part of the world.

Of course, it completely behooves you to make an effort to learn some other languages as well. Don’t be that guy who refuses to learn the language of the woman he is attracted to.

4. The older we get, the more we return to our roots

One of the most interesting things about getting older is the natural feeling to reconnect with our youth. No, that doesn’t necessarily mean listening to heavy-metal and playing video games all day. What I mean is that once we reach a certain age, we start to understand the importance of where we came from and the people who got us to where we are today.

What does this have to do with older Asian women and white guys? Well, it’s the fact that if you’re a white guy from the US, Europe, or Australia, you have to understand that most Asian women over the age of 40 are going to be holding onto very strong connections to their homeland.

As a matter fact, this very thing is what’s driving my wife and I apart at the moment. We’re both in our mid-40s, living in the US. I’m a white guy of course, but she is Japanese. She moved here to be with me when we got married, and back then, she was totally happy with it. But now, 10 years later, she’s having very strong feelings about Japan and she wants to go back.

Of course she still wants to be with me. However, she’s come to the realization that she can only truly be happy in her homeland living and breathing the culture she’s known since a child. And you know what? I totally support her on this, because I’m starting to feel the same way about my home here in the US as well. This is my home. This is what I know and love. As I love Japan, leaving the US permanently isn’t really an option anymore.

This is something we’re going to have to work through together. And chances are, if you’re a white male pursuing an older Asian woman, you’re going to have to deal with this as well.

5. Family bonds are extremely tight in many parts of Asia

Sadly, I have many guy friends who married a Chinese women only to be destroyed by her because of her insistence to support her entire family. Now, I’ve gotten nothing at all against Chinese women (as a matter of fact Chinese women are probably what I would be dating if I was single), but…this is the cold hard truth.

Older Asian women are likely to place members of her own family above her husband or boyfriend. Of course this varies by culture (with Chinese being the most extreme), so be careful if you enter into a relationship with a mature Asian lady with a large family. You have to know exactly what you’re getting into!

6. Older Asian women may not have much experience dating white guys (it’s new and scary)

Without the experience of dating western (white) men, older Asian women may not be comfortable attempting to try something new later in life. I get questions all the time from these women who want to learn how to attract a white guy, so I do know that many are interested in this.

Pros and cons of dating Asian women 35 and older:

Pro: just as it is with dating any woman of that age, she will be very mature and experienced enough to know what she wants in life. in other words: she’s less likely to string you along and be flaky on you compared to younger women! Even Korean women, which tend to be the flakiest in my opinion.

Con: as much as I hate to say this (because it sounds extremely stereotypical) but older Asian women can be extremely superficial. Of course I’m speaking in generalities and not all mature Asian women are like this, but if you’ve been to any big city in Asia recently you should know what I’m talking about. Older Asian women like to shop. Prepare yourselves for that if you’re extremely tight with your money.

Pro: her traditional Asian culture will make her want to treat you like a king. For me, this is one of the biggest reasons why I started dating Asian women so many years ago. Western women have been brought up to challenge men in every aspect of life (both professionally and personally), and it’s because of this that I’ve had difficulty dating women here in the US. No, I’m not a loser who takes advantage of women – all I want is to receive the respect that I give. More often than not, I could only get that from an Asian woman.


Doug is just an ordinary white guy living in the midwestern United States. He's been married to an amazing Japanese woman since 2010, and has created to share his experiences with international dating and marriage (the good and the bad),

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