Pros and cons of marrying a Japanese woman (consider this a big fat warning)

By Doug •  7 min read

Based on what I’ve been seeing, most western men don’t fully understand the pros and cons of marrying a Japanese woman.

As an American who has been married to a Japanese woman since 2010, I can tell you that it’s been about 85% great. The other 15% has been really difficult. We’ve talked about divorce more times than I can count, but neither one of us really want to go through with it.

Pros and cons of marrying a Japanese woman

Despite how challenging it has been for my wife and I, we are still both very happy in the relationship. Our marriage hasn’t gone exactly the way we planned. For the most part, it’s been a very rewarding, fun, and educational experience.

The best way to sum up our experience is to list out all of the individual pros and cons. Note that this is very different than the pros and cons of dating a Japanese woman. Once you get married, everything changes.


Japanese sleepwear
Another pro: the pajamas and slippers she’ll buy for you will be like nothing you’ve experienced before (in a good way). The stuff my wife dresses me in has convinced me that Japanese women are the absolute masters of comfortable sleepwear.


Japanese marriage problems
The pros and cons of marrying a Japanese woman in one simple picture. When it’s good, it’s good, but when it’s bad…chances are pretty good that you’re going to look exactly like this poor guy.

The best thing about being married to a Japanese woman

For me, the best thing about being married to a woman from Japan is how it changed my perspective on things. I’m a just a regular white guy born and raised in the midwestern US, and I’ve always approached everything with an American point of view. I like muscle cars. Long road trips are my idea have a good time. A big house on a large piece of land is my ultimate goal in life.

Being married to a Japanese woman (and seeing things through a Japanese / Asian perspective) has changed me. Not completely, but I have come to realize that I’ve been a very greedy and selfish person for most of my life. I’m actually scared to think how selfish and bigoted I might be if I never married her.

The worst thing about being married to a Japanese woman

Struggling with cultural differences has been the biggest challenge in our marriage. I know for a fact that my wife would agree with me on this. Her Japanese culture and my American culture mix like oil and water, and we end up driving each other crazy because of it sometimes. It’s amazing to think that Japanese women like American men considering how different we are.

She’s very patient and careful with everything that she does. I’m the complete opposite, as I like to get things done quickly with as little effort as possible. I think she’s too slow. She thinks I’m too careless. We’ve both come to the conclusion that this is never going to change, so we’re working hard to appreciate and understand each other‘s point of view. It’s hard.


Doug is just an ordinary white guy living in the midwestern United States. He's been married to an amazing Japanese woman since 2010, and has created to share his experiences with international dating and marriage (the good and the bad),

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