7 things white men should probably know about having sex with Korean women

By Doug •  7 min read

When it comes to having sex with Korean women, there’s a lot that white guys get wrong (or simply don’t know). It can be frustrating and disappointing if you’re not prepared.

Sex in Korea is different meaning than it is in many other parts of the world. Hook up culture is almost nonexistent, and most young people view sex as a major step in a relationship. It’s not something to be expected on a first date.

Basically, the TLDR of what I’m about to tell you is this: Korea is one of the last places in the world you want to go if you’re looking to get laid. It’s not easy there.

Yup. Sex with Korean women is a little different.

The following is the summary of a conversation I recently had a good friend of mine in Korea. He (a white guy from the United States) has spent his entire adult life there, moving from one girlfriend to the next before finally meeting the woman he is married to (and has kids with) today.

The 7 tips he has for white guys looking to have sex with Korean women are priceless:

1. Casual sex isn’t really a thing in Korea

Yes, casual sex does happen. The main thing that foreigners need to know is that it happens a lot less there than it does in the western world.

Trying to pick up random girls on the street is a sure fire way to get reported to the police (especially if you’re even the slightest bit aggressive). BTW, I’d recommend reading my list of the best places to meet Korean girls to avoid getting in trouble.

Girls tend to be very protective of other girls in Korea. If they see that one of their friends is being bothered by an aggressive / annoying guy, they will be more likely to swoop in to the rescue than western girls would.

People are having sex in Korea. I know many white guys who have sex with Korean women. However, from what I’m seeing, it rarely ever happens outside of established relationships. If you want to get laid in Korea, you’re basically going to have to be willing to commit to a relationship.

korean woman and white guy
He’s probably getting an earful about how she just wants to make sure their relationship is solid before proceeding any further. Just a hunch.

2. Sex is still seen as a taboo subject in Korea

Once you understand how the topic of sex is often avoided in Korean culture, you’ll understand why it’s so difficult to find a sexual partner there.

Pornography is almost nonexistent in Korea. Sexual intercourse is seen as something to be discussed (and done) in private by two consenting adults in a committed relationship. TV shows and movies have been slowly begun discussing it more openly over the past 10 years or so, but Korea is still far behind many other western cultures in this regard.

Think of it as how the United States was in the late 1950s.

3. Korean women are actually pretty good in bed

Despite how repressed sexual culture in Korea might seem to foreigners, Korean women are actually pretty good at it. This likely has to do with the fact that Korean culture isn’t as modest and timid has some other east Asian cultures (such as Japan and Taiwan).

In bed, you’ll find that Korean woman are confident, curious, and very willing to please the guys they are with. They also expect to be pleased in return.

Compared to Japanese women, Korean women tend to be more sexually adventurous. Of course, it’s hard to fathom considering how hard it is to get them in bed in the first place.

4. It will be extremely difficult to have sex in Korea if you are white

Yes, Korean women do like white guys. I dated a number of Korean women in my younger days, and I still have plenty of friends who are having a decent amount of success over there.

However, the problem is that you will always be seen as a foreigner. Korean culture, as a whole, is skeptical foreigners. There’s an immense amount of nationalist pride in Korea, and they go to great lengths to keep their culture as pure and traditional as possible.

White men breeding with Korean women kind of ruins that.

It’s important to note that I’m speaking in broad generalities here. I’ve known many Korean women who dated white guys exclusively. All I’m saying is that (in general), it’s going to be tough if you’re not Korean yourself.

korean woman and white guy in bed
“How the **** did this happen?!” Actually, considering how difficult it is for white guys and Korean girls to get together, it’s not all that weird of a question to ask each other after doing it.

5. You have to reset your expectations when it comes to sex

Having sex in the west and having sex in Korea are two completely different things. Here in the United States (and in Europe, Australia, etc.) aggressive sex is what’s hot in mainstream in porn these days. If you grew up watching that kind of content, it’s hard not to think that’s what it’s going to be like everywhere else in the world.

Sex in Korea is a bit more “pedestrian” than it is here in the US. You can’t meet a girl over there and expect her to do everything that you’ve seen your favorite adult actresses do. That’s not reality. Especially in Korea.

Having sex with a Korean woman will likely involve the missionary position, cuddling, and going at a much slower pace.

Again, not every Korean woman requires that. Some women are wilder than others (no matter where in the world they’re from), and it all depends on what you end up with. However, in general, it’s a good idea to lower your expectations when it comes to sexual intercourse in Korea.

6. Don’t be surprised if she over prepares for sex

Every Korean woman that I’ve ever known has always over prepared for everything. It happens in the workplace, and (according to my friends with Korean wives and girlfriends), it happens in the bedroom as well.

You will both have to be clean, groomed, and all contraceptive devices will need to be prepared and ready to go. She will very likely know which positions she wants, how long she wants them, and in what order. Don’t be surprised if she tells you how and where to finish as well.

7. Korean women tend not to get as emotionally attached after sex as men do

One of the most interesting (and frustrating) things about being involved in a sexual relationship with a Korean woman is that they can be cold as hell afterwards. Not physically of course, but mentally.

Korean women are extremely independent individuals. They are highly driven, they face immense pressure from their parents and their employers to succeed, and they’ve always got a lot on their mind. Unfortunately, no matter how much she likes you, you’ll be placed lower in her list of day to day priorities.

Don’t be offended or hurt if she doesn’t respond to your texts right away. It might take her a week to call you back. It’s a sign that a Korean woman likes you if she responds at all, and you’ll have to mentally agree to those terms and conditions from the very beginning.

Heck, even my friend (the one who lives in Korea and is married a Korean woman) lives with that sort of rejection every day. His advice: it’s better than being smothered. Embrace it.


Doug is just an ordinary white guy living in the midwestern United States. He's been married to an amazing Japanese woman since 2010, and has created AsiaGraphix.com to share his experiences with international dating and marriage (the good and the bad),

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