Meeting Shanghai women: everything you need to know

By Doug •  8 min read

As surprising as it may be to many foreigners, Shanghai women are bold. They’re driven. And very career-oriented. If you’ve never dated a women from Shanghai before, you can expect the relationship to be intense in times. Spoiler alert: I mean that in both a good way and a bad way.

Shanghai women: what are they like?

In contrast to Guangzhou girls, women from the city of Shanghai are far more worldly and open-minded. It’s a very “western” style city as far as Chinese cities go, and for that reason alone, I recommend it as a good place to visit if it’s your first time in China.

It’s also a very good place to meet women if you’ve never tried dating Chinese women before. The population of near 30 million people (more than half of them women), your chances of finding a girlfriend are high.

I will warn you though. It’s not going to be easy! Remember what I said about the woman in Shanghai being bold and driven? Well, that means you need to have somewhat of a bold and driven by personality of your own if you want to seek compatibility with someone relatively quickly.

Important: Shanghai women are very familiar with foreigners and white guys

I see it time and time again. Guys from the United States / Europe / Australia go to China thinking that it’s going to be really easy to meet girls. After all, we’ve all been hearing our entire lives that Chinese women are “infatuated with white men”, and it’s just about the easiest place in the world to hook up.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, Chinese women do like American men, but the women in Shanghai are very much used to living and working with foreigners.

Shanghai tourists

Shanghai attracts tourists from all over – Besides Hong Kong, it’s essentially the melting pot of Asia.

Just because you are an outsider doesn’t mean that you will be viewed as special and unique. This might be the case in smaller Chinese cities away from the major population centers, but Shanghai is a big city in the same way that New York and London are melting pot of cultures from around the world.

4 useful tips for meeting women in Shanghai

More than anything else that you’ll need to know, you need to understand that Shanghai is a very large and international city. It’s a melting pot of cultures, and it’s not difficult to find ex-pats from nearly every corner of the globe living and working there.

Therefore, meeting women in Shanghai is pretty much the same as it would be in any other major cities such as New York or London.

1. Don’t think too highly of yourself

Don’t go to Shanghai thinking that it’s going to be easy to meet women. There will be an immense amount of competition, and the color of your skin won’t make you any more special than anyone else. They are very likely very familiar with your kind.

2. Take advantage of your entrepreneurial spirit

For better or for worse, China is the global leader in product manufacturing. Entrepreneurs from all of the world go to China to seek their expertise in mass producing goods of all kinds. Heck – most of the objects in your immediate vicinity are likely items made in China. This isn’t likely to change in the near term.

If you are an entrepreneur with a product to launch, going to China and dealing directly with manufacturers is good for business. It’s also a great way to meet people. Thus, entrepreneurs do very well meeting business women in Shanghai.

3. Older women in Shanghai are more likely to be feeling lonely

Shanghai is an incredibly dense city. It’s also one of the most vibrant business centers in the world. There is a lot of pressure to succeed there, and if you’re not the absolute best at what you do – there are plenty of other people right behind you who are ready to take your place.

In other words, being a businessman is tough in Shanghai. They work long hours, and they feel immense pressure to not only honor their employers, but to crawl their way to the top as well.

Unfortunately, this comes at the expense of shutting out the people who are closest to them. Most specifically, their wives and girlfriends.

lonely shanghai

Despite how large (and busy of a place it is)…there are plenty of lonely people here.

I absolutely do not condone adultery and cheating. All I’m saying is that there are lot of older married women in Shanghai who are feeling lonely and frustrated. Do with that information what you will.

4. There are good bars and clubs everywhere in Shanghai

If older Asian women aren’t your thing, don’t worry. Shanghai has some of the best nightlife anywhere on earth, and it won’t be difficult to meet people if you have a social personality.

The TOPS at the Banyan Tree and Logan’s Punch are two good places for first time visitors to check out. This isn’t my area of expertise, so I suggest listening to the people you meet there to give you other good suggestions for popular bars and clubs in the city that are more to your liking.


In general, meeting Shanghai women will be easy. At least relative to meeting women in other Chinese cities. Shanghai is very large and diverse, and the dating scene is very active. The women are generally open-minded and very worldly.

Beyond that here are a few more commonly asked questions about dating Chinese women – more specifically, women from the city of Shanghai:

What is special about Shanghai women?

The women of Shanghai tend to have “big city” attitudes (which isn’t as bad as it sounds). All this means is that they tend to be more liberal and open to western thoughts and ideologies.

This makes them more compatible with western men IMHO, and the cultural differences won’t be as severe as what you might experience when trying to meet girls from Guangzhou (for example).

Do Shanghai women speak English?

In general, anyone under the age of 40 in Shanghai generally has a basic understanding of English. It’s important to note that not everybody in Shanghai speaks English though, so it’s definitely in your best interest to learn some basic Mandarin Chinese. Doing so will give you a major advantage over other guys vying for their attention.

How easy is it to approach women on the street in Shanghai?

I personally wouldn’t have the courage for such a thing (and I’m married anyway so it doesn’t really matter), but from what I’ve been told from my friends who live in Shanghai, it’s relatively easy.

Keep in mind though that this is a very large city and women have more options than they can handle here when it comes to dating. They are in a position to be extremely picky due to how large, active, and social the city is, so you need to be especially charming (and attractive) if you’re going to try to pick up girls on the street.

Where are the best places to meet women in Shanghai?

Stay away from the tourist areas (such as the Bund). All you’re going to find there are tourists. To meet local women, I’d recommend the following:

Personally, I don’t recommend going to bars and clubs to meet women unless all you’re looking for is a one night stand. Even then, competition will be fierce, and you’ll need to be both incredibly attractive and charming to make it work.

What are some do’s and dont’s in Shanghai (especially when it comes to meeting women)?

The good thing about dating in Shanghai is that the same rules that apply in other major cities apply there as well. Still, even though it’s a very “westernized” Chinese city, there are some things you need to be especially aware of:


My name is Doug, and I'm an ordinary white guy living in the US. 10 years ago I married a Japanese woman that I met online, and it's been an adventure to say the least! I started as a way to share all the lessons I've learned about dating (and ultimately marrying) an Asian woman.

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