Tag Archives: dating tech

instagram direct messages from Asian women

How to get a steady stream of Instagram DM’s from Asian women

I’ve been around long enough to remember when the internet was brand new, and if there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years, it’s the fact that apps and products come and go. What’s popular and trendy today likely won’t be 5 years from now, so it’s important to be able to adapt to the changes. It’s also important to exploit them for all their worth while things are hot!

Remember MySpace? It’s been dead for a long time, but back in the day, that’s where everybody was hanging out. You were a nobody if you didn’t have your own page covered in animations and multiple streams of music all auto-playing at once, you didn’t exist. And even though it’s no longer around here in 2018, it was totally worth the effort and time if you were single and looking to mingle.

Snapchat is going through that same sort of transformation right now. It used to be THE place for guys to meet women in their local area, but it’s been dying a slow death for the past few years now thanks to Instagram. It doesn’t mean that all the time you spent trying to build up your profile was wasted though – hopefully you got a lot out of it while it was hot and you haven’t become so attached to it that it feels impossible to leave.

My current favorite app at the moment is Instagram. I’ve already talked about how easy it is for white guys to meet Asian women there, and it just seems to be getting better year after year. The popularity of Instagram in Asia has grown immensely in the past few years, and if you’re a single white guy who’s looking for love in Asia, it’s where you need to be right now (other than Japan Cupid and Korean Cupid of course).

One of the best features of Instagram is the ability to direct message (DM) other members. And because Instagram isn’t marketed as a dating app, these private conversations are what you need to focus on if you are looking to find the woman of your dreams.

However, it’s a very easy feature to be abused, so you have to be very careful about how you approach women so that you don’t find yourself getting blocked by them or banned from Instagram altogether. The best way to tread lightly is to have them reach out to YOU instead of the other way around. The best thing about this is that it’s actually a lot easier than it sounds, assuming you have a bit of both preserverence and patience.

The six step method to get a constant stream of DM’s from Asian women:

  1. Find a girl you like and start out by occasionally (once every 2 weeks) commenting on her public photos or stories. It’s very important not to make the comment aggressive in any way! Comment about something specific in the photo and NOT about her and how you want to run away with her and make babies. Ha! If she responds, great, but if not – that’s ok too. The important thing here is that you are just making yourself known.
  2. Keep doing this for as long as it takes for her to start responding to you. Remember, commenting on every one of her posts is considered aggressive, and she’s likely to ignore you forever if you come across as being clingy and desperate.
  3. If you’ve been doing this for three months and she’s still not responding, move on. She’s clearly not interested in you, and there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
  4. However, if she is responding, it’s time to start creating posts that will attract her attention. By now you should have a pretty good idea what she’s interested in and what it is that makes her talk, so focus on posting that kind of content. Occasionally (like once every 6 weeks) tag her in a post.
  5. Rinse and repeat. Keep in mind that pretty much every woman on Instagram is inundated with guys hitting on them every day, so your goal is to establish yourself as “safe” – someone she knows isn’t going to annoy her with cheesy flirting. Once she becomes familiar (and comfortable) with you, she’s likely to be willing to start talking.
  6. Once she’s been publicly responding to you for a while (liking your posts, replying to your comments, etc) start a DM conversation with her by asking a specific question – asking for help with the language she speaks usually works well. She’s likely to respond enthusiastically at that point, and that should be your way in to an extended conversation.

In summary, this probably seems like a lot of time and effort involved to get those steady stream of DMs coming in. And it is. But remember – you should be doing this with many women at once so things will happen a lot faster than you think. Some women won’t be very responsive at all, but others will and it’s going to balance out nicely.

Figure about six months to get to the point where you’re waking up to an inbox full of DMs from Asia every morning. Maybe a little longer if you’re a bit shy and more passive, and shorter if you’re smooth as ice and charming as hell.

Good luck out there!

social media hashtags

Pros and cons of using Twitter to meet Asian women

I wasn’t really planning on talking about a lot about the ways white men and Asian women meet on social media, but let’s face it – there are very few people left in this world who aren’t on some sort of social media platform, and if you’re one of them, you are really missing out. You can’t resist social media if you are single and looking to meet the person of your dreams. Sorry. That’s just the way it is these days.

So what is the best social media platform for white guys to meet Asian girls (and vise versa)? I’ve already written extensively about the power of using Instagram for dating, and I deem that to be the holy grail for singles looking to mingle.

But what about twitter? Twitter is really nice in the sense that it’s perfect for those short on time and prefer to interact with others in short to-the-point bursts. Unlike Instagram, you don’t have to have nice photos to create an interesting feed of content – just start talking, say whatever it is you want to say in 140 characters or less, and you’re done. For some, that simplicity makes it the perfect communication tool.

But how easy is it for white guys to meet Asian women on this platform? At the time of this writing (June 2017), there are an estimated 328 million active users on twitter. Chances are pretty good that many of them are single and looking to mingle. You just have to find them.

Let’s look at the pros and cons of using Twitter to meet Asian women

Pros:

  • As I just mentioned above, the user base is huge. 328 million active users, and it’s growing every day.
  • Twitter doesn’t require as much time as Instagram (in general). You’ve got only 140 characters to say something, so there’s no need to write paragraphs of text to get the attention of someone.
  • 140 characters of cleverly written text will get someones attention more than a full paragraph would anyway – so embrace this limitation!
  • It’s easy to find Asian women to mingle with. Twitter is very popular in Asia, and since it’s a global platform, many of them speak English. Just know that you’ll do better if you speak their language though. Make the effort!
  • If you find someone interesting who doesn’t seem to be interested in you. It’s ok. Move on. There is an unending supply of people to meet on Twitter.

Cons:

  • Twitter is not (at it’s core) a visual platform. That tends to make things difficult when trying to show who you really are as a person.
  • Saying something interesting in 140 characters or less is not as easy as it sounds. It takes practice!
  • Unless you are specifically searching for people who use the hashtag #single (or something similar), you will most likely annoy every single woman you approach if you start off telling them how beautiful they are. Remember: Twitter is not a dating platform, so tread lightly.
  • To elaborate further on the point above, it will take some time to find someone who is 1). single and looking, and 2). interested in you as well. Because of that, you have to consider Twitter as just another tool in your dating tool box. It’s not the holy grail dating platform – and as a matter of fact, success will be challenging unless you are on 24 hours a day.

Keep in mind that while I wrote this article from the male point of view, the same points apply if we switch this around. Asian women looking to meet white men on twitter will face much of the same challenges that the men will, but just as it is in the real world, they will have much more success. The success rate is naturally pretty high when a woman approaches a man, so ladies, keep that in mind if you are feeling nervous about introducing yourself to your Twitter crush. If he’s single, he’ll very likely be interested in starting a conversation with you.

So there you have it. Twitter can work for guys who are looking to meet Asian women online, but it’s a lot more difficult than Instagram due to the fact that it’s a less visual platform and you’ll have to rely on your wit and charm to get your foot in the door. And for many guys, that could be a problem…

instagram iphone

How easy is it for white guys to meet Asian girls on Instagram?

Sometimes I feel like I was born at the wrong time. I just missed out on having the internet becoming mainstream while I was still in school, and I am so envious of kids today who don’t have to go to the library and slog though volumes of encyclopedias to do research for their school projects. I graduated college in 1996, and it was right about then that the internet was starting to grab hold and change the world.

It did take a while to take off though. Porn was obviously one of the first industries to go digital, but it did take a few years for major businesses to see the potential of the internet. Online dating started becoming a thing by 1998 or so – it was then that I remember meeting my first Asian woman online. Her name was Akiko, and she was from Nagoya Japan. We met on Yahoo Personals, and from what I can recall, we exchanged email once a week or so. Our communication wasn’t all that frequent but it was still very exciting to me at the time. I knew right away that this was a revolutionary way to meet women. Finally, shy guys like me had a chance! I wonder whatever happened to Akiko? Last I heard from her (way back in ’98), she told me she was coming to the US to meet several of the men she met online – and she wanted to see me as well. She was husband shopping, and that freaked me out. I didn’t even respond and we lost touch forever,

Fast forward to current times, and social media has taken over our lives whether we like to admit it or not. Meeting people online is SO easy now – and you don’t even need to sign up for a dating site like JapanCupid or KoreanCupid to meet that Asian woman of your dreams. Of course you’ll likely have more success signing up with a dating site and meeting women that way, since everyone there is looking for love. Not everyone on social media is available and looking.

Instagram is my favorite social media platform at the moment, primarily because I am a highly visual person and I have a passion for photography. I’m happily married to a wonderful Japanese woman at the moment and I’m not looking to meet other women, but…wow. There are so many beautiful and amazing Asian women on Instagram that I cry a little inside and wish I had this tool available to me when I was still single.

Meeting Asian girls on Instagram

Instagram is a great way to get to know someone due to how visual of a social media platform it is, and a quick scroll of someones feed will tell you a lot more about that person than you could ever hope to decipher though an ad on an online dating site. It’s so easy to find someone attractive to you (not just in looks, but in lifestyle as well), and I know I could have done well meeting Asian women here when I was still single.

Instagram users come from all over the world, and it’s particular popular with women in Japan and Korea. Especially Korea, as women’s fashion and style is a huge part of the culture – there are so many beautiful Korean woman posting adorably cute selfies that you won’t have to spend a lot of time to find them. Search for the hashtag “#귀엽다” and go from there.

White guys: it helps if you can speak a bit of their language, but overall, work your way in gradually if you see a woman you are interested in. Don’t be creepy, and for the love of God, don’t smother her with likes and comments (because, well, that qualifies as “creepy” and no woman likes to be stalked online). Ask her questions, make random compliments. But don’t overdo it. If she isn’t responding, back off. The best part of Instagram is that is has such a large user base, so if you’re not getting anywhere with one woman, it’s easy to back off and try getting to know someone else.

I wish Instagram was a thing when I was still single. It would have been a lot easier for white guys like me!

Korean Cupid homepage screenshot

KoreanCupid.com review

By now you should know all about how much I’ve like JapanCupid.com – I met my wife there after all, so that in itself should say all there is to say about how legit of an Asian dating site it is. But there’s another one that I’ve had quite a bit of experience with in the past, and it was built by the same parent company. As a matter of fact, it’s basically the same website as JapanCupid, except that it was a place for meeting people from South Korea. That website, if you couldn’t guess the name by now, is KoreanCupid.com. Creative name, eh? At least they are consistent with their branding.

Since JapanCupid and KoreanCupid are built on the same platform by the same parent company, all of what I wrote about my JapanCupid review are applicable to KoreanCupid. The biggest difference between the two are the fact that one is Japanese based and the other Korean obviously, but it’s exactly the same experience. Therefore, I won’t list out the specific good and bad points of KoreanCupid in this review. No sense in writing it twice!

The big problem with KoreanCupid

There is one big difference that I would like to discuss, however. It’s the amount of spam, or fake accounts that I encountered during the entire duration of my subscription.

I was constantly getting notifications from beautiful Korean women who had very thin profiles (not much info), but they would never return messages. I would always wake up in the morning to see 3 or 4 new messages from women interested in connecting, but they were all young and beautiful and none of them ever responded back after I said hello. I only connected with a few real women on KoreanCupid, and they all turned into really good friendships. But it was frustrating dealing with all the fake accounts and replying to so many messages without getting a reply back.

My theory on KoreanCupid fake accounts / spam is this: there are simply a lot less woman on KoreanCupid than there are on JapanCupid, so they (the web developers and marketing team) have to keep all the guys interested by dangling carrots in front of their noses to keep them coming back. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been coming back that often had it not been for all the notifications I received, so their plan worked – for a while. I eventually got tired of the fake accounts and closed my account.

Are Korean women not attracted to western men? That was my thought initially, but the amount of Korean-American relationships I see here in southern California prove otherwise. I’m not really sure why Korean women don’t utilize this website very much. It’s bursting at the seams with white guys, so if that’s what they are looking for, there’s no better place to hang out.

My disappointing experience with KoreanCupid was way back when I was single, but I’ve still got friends who subscribe that are having the exact same experience that I did. It’s much more difficult to meet real women on KoreanCupid than JapanCupid.

You should note that it’s not a dating website worth avoiding completely, however. As I said above, I met some really great women there when I was a subscriber, so it is a valid place to mingle. But you have to be prepared to deal with the fake accounts and spam that will inevitably clog your inbox every day.

JapanCupid homepage screenshot

JapanCupid.com review

For white guys looking to meet Japanese women, one of the best resources on the internet at the moment is japancupid.com. “At the moment” is probably the wrong choice of wording since it’s been around for a very long time and it was one of the first Asian dating sites I used starting way back in 2005. It’s so good, in fact, that I ended up marrying a woman I met there in 2009.

My personal experience with JapanCupid ended in 2009 obviously, but I have a handful of friends (both male and female) who use the site today and can back me up in my claim about it still being one of the best sources for Japanese-Western relationships out there today. Many Japanese women do like white guys, so if you’re a guy who’s been curious about dating in Asia, this is one of the first places you should start.

Like all online dating sites, there are some good and bad things about JapanCupid. Here then, based on my own personal experience and the experiences of people I know, are the good and bad points about this highly active Japanese dating site:

The good things about JapanCupid

  • The member database is huge. This is a highly popular dating site for men and women all over the world.
  • The site is simple and easy to use. It’s easy to check messages, browse new listings, and add favorites. Notifications are a big plus too.
  • I like the fact that it covers a very specific dating niche. Single white people people looking for single Japanese people (and vise versa), and everyone is there for the same reason.
  • It’s not necessarily a “hookup” site – in my experience, 99% of the women I met there were interested in long term relationships, which was exactly what I was looking for. This might seem like a negative to a lot of guys, but if you’re someone a bit older like me, you’ll likely see this as a plus.
  • I met my wife there. If that’s not proof enough that JapanCupid.com works, I don’t know what is.

The bad things about JapanCupid

  • There are a high number of “fake” accounts. This is purely speculation on my part, but I found that when things got slow (nobody was contacting me), I would get random “hello’s” from amazingly beautiful young Japanese women who would normally never be interested in a guy like me. None of them wrote back after I responded, so after a while I concluded that these were fake accounts generated by JapanCupid themselves to keep people (men) coming back to the site. All of my friends who still use this site today confirm it’s still happening.
  • Competition is fierce if you’re a guy. There are a LOT more men on the site than women, but honestly, that’s to be expected of any dating website.

In concludsion, the good far outweigh the bad. It’s no the perfect dating website by any means, but that’s to be expected when it comes to online dating. You need to act with caution just as you would in real life, and if you’re careful about it, you may just find the love of your life in Japan.

Apple Watch dating

This is how the Apple watch can improve your dating life

I’ve been wearing an Apple Watch for almost four months now, and it’s one of those kinds of things that makes me shake my head and wish this kind of technology was available when I was still single and looking for love. It’s definitely not as revolutionary as Apple claims it to be, but it’s made a significant enough impact on my daily life that I think it qualifies as one of my favorite tech toys right now. Heck..it’s probably the best tech product I’ve purchased in the last several years. For the first time in my life, I can track my daily fitness routines and physical stats without even thinking about it, and I never miss a text message or important notification. I feel so…connected!

Besides the obvious fitness tracking capabilities, I’ve noticed a few really neat features of the Apple Watch that would have come in really handy during my dating years. Let me explain:

Apple Watch users have a lot in common

Pretend you’re on a busy train, and you want to get the attention of that cute guy or gal standing across from you. You could just slide over with an awkward “how you doin’?” in your best Joey Tribiani voice, but wouldn’t it be a lot more fun to ask them a question about their Apple Watch? People are really proud of these things, and even I (as shy and introverted as I am) love talking about it and showing it others if they ask about it. If you aren’t wearing one yourself, you could ask them what they think about it. But if you’re wearing one, even better – you instantly have something in common and the icebreaker is all ready out of the way.

You can use your Apple Watch as an excuse to skip out on a bad date

The power of notifications on your wrist is a pretty big deal. Set a timer right before meeting someone for the first time, and the ringing notification and buzzing you get when it goes off is your excuse to bail if things aren’t going well. It would look totally legit too – hearing the ringing and buzzing, looking nervously at your watch to see what’s happening, and then breaking the bad news to your date that there’s an emergency and you have to run. God I wish I had this when I was single.

You’ll never miss a notification with the Apple Watch

Missing text messages or other notifications from your loved ones has ended relationships. It’s happened to all of us at one point or another, totally by accident, and it’s not an easy thing to apologize for. The haptic feedback feature of the Apple Watch is a guaranteed way that you will never miss important messages, gently tapping you on the wrist when you’re being summoned.

Apple Watches aren’t so common in Asia…yet

I feel like I need to mention this since the topic of this blog is about Asian women and white guys – but it is a very valid point. For you western men traveling to Asia, you may find that your Apple Watch will get a lot of attention (from both men and women) during your stay. This is a great way to meet people, and poking away at your watch on a busy train in Tokyo, or speaking into it on the streets of Hong Kong is a sure way to get people to ask you what it is that you’re doing. Use it as a tool to meet people!

I don’t think had “dating life improvements” as a top selling point when designing the Apple Watch, but after four months of ownership I can totally see it as a valid reason for all you single guys and gals out there to get one. Some of us need more help than others when it comes to our love lives, and what’s not to like about adding another tool to your dating toolbox?