I’m actually going to give away the big secret to hitting on that cute Asian girl at work right here in the beginning of the article (just because I think it’s that important): quite simply, do not do it. If you value your job and your overall happiness, do not even think about hitting on someone you work with. I speak from experience on this one, and despite how innocent and fun you may think this would be, 99% of the time it ends very badly. Here’s why:
- Being distracted at work is never a good thing. You’ll spend more time thinking about that person and worrying about how well things are (or are not) going between you and them rather than focusing on the job you need to pay your bills.
- You will be miserable every moment you are at work – as if you weren’t already before. You will overanalyze every interaction, feel bad when you feel like you are being ignored, and devastated when they go out to lunch with someone else instead of you.
- When things go bad (and they will, trust me), being at work near that person will be the last place you want to be. Seriously – you’ll be wishing you were scrubbing toilet bowls in a busy truck stop in the middle of Nebraska rather than being at work near that person.
I could probably go on forever about how bad it is to date (or even be attracted to) someone that you work with, but I’ve been in this situation many times and I know exactly how easy it is to get lured in by that cutie sitting across from you who always smiles when you walk by.
If for whatever reason you can’t shake the desire to hit on her in hopes of sweeping her off her feet and living happily ever after together, I offer you this advice:
- Don’t freaking do it. I’m very serious about this!
- Start very (very) slow. Notice how she interacts with others. Is she super friendly and bubbly to everyone, or is she noticeably nicer to you than she is to everyone else?
- If you sense a bit of attraction on her part, crank things up a notch by asking her to lunch. If she says no, then leave it at that and forget about it right then and there. At least you know where you stand.
- If she agrees, go to lunch with her but do not treat it like a date. You are simply two colleagues enjoying lunch together.
- You’re on your own at this point – if it goes well, keep hanging out away from work. AWAY from work is the key point here. If anyone in the office gets wind that the two of you are a thing, you risk getting fired. Yes, that really does happen – I’ve seen it happen twice in my career so far.
The bottom line is that you need to exercise extreme caution about showing affection towards someone else in the workplace. Not only for your career, but for your own mental health as well. Because when things go wrong (and they will), you are stuck there at work with that person and there’s nothing you can do about it unless one of you quits. Its a messy situation for all involved.