If you’ve never dated a Japanese girl before, there’s a lot you need to know. Luckily for you, I’ve got a lot of personal experience in this matter, and I’m going to share all of it with you now. This is what you can expect when dating a Japanese girl.
Before getting into the heart of this discussion, it’s important that I let you know my credentials. I started dating Japanese girls in roughly 2005 or so, and I married one in 2010. We are still married to this day, and it’s been one heck of a journey so far.
Long story short, dating Japanese girls is a lot different than dating western girls and I most certainly made a few mistakes along the way. Hopefully, by the time you reach the end of this article, you’ll be smart enough to avoid the same mistakes that I made…
What to expect when dating a Japanese girl (all the good stuff – and the bad)
I’ve already written about the pros and cons of dating Japanese girls. For the most part, I highly recommend it. It’s definitely a unique experience, and you’ll find it much different than dating women from Korea or anywhere else.
There’s a lot of good and bad that comes with it, so let’s break it down into digestible bits of information. The really important kind that you must need to need to know.
All the good stuff you can expect when dating a Japanese girl
- You are very likely going to be amazed by her kindness and generosity. Japanese culture is amazing, and it’s quite likely that she will be the nicest person that you’ve ever dated.
- Japanese women respect the men that they date. It’s very likely that they will not be talking to other guys while she is with you. An easy way to prove this theory is to try and chat with Japanese girls on Instagram who are already in a relationship. Chances are pretty good that none of them will want to talk to you.
- She will always be very eager to hear from you. This is one of the first things that I noticed when I started dating Japanese women. They all seemed incredibly anxious and excited to talk to me, often reaching out to me sooner than I had planned on reaching out to them. Some might consider this as clingy behavior, but I liked it. It always feels good to seem wanted by someone of the opposite sex!
- Japanese women are generally less prejudiced when searching for suitable partners. They care less about looks and overall appearance then western women do, which is one of the reasons why it’s so comfortable dating women from Japan. I’m pretty darn far from being the best looking guy in the world, but I’ve never had much difficulty attracting pretty Japanese girls when I was still single and actively dating. This lack of prejudice is why you’ll see so many Japanese women with black guys.
All the bad stuff you can expect when dating Japanese girls
- The most significant bit of culture shock that I experienced when I first started dating Japanese girls was the fact that they don’t necessarily appreciate sarcastic humor as much as western people do. As a matter fact, I’d go as far as to say that having a sarcastic attitude towards everything is a sure fire way for her to get her not to like you anymore. Sarcasm is definitely not a good virtue in Japanese culture.
- Your life is going to slow down a lot. Despite what you may have learned in school, I’m here to tell you that Japanese culture is much slower than western culture. Nothing is rushed, and everything is done in the best and most careful way possible.
- Since Japanese culture is all about respect and honor, you have to know that it applies to everything. For example, you may be frustrated when she tells you to fold your dirty laundry before putting it in the hamster. I know I was, and the annoyed look on my face afterwards was the precursor to one of our biggest disagreements ever.
Long story short, Japanese culture and western culture mix like oil and water, and your casual way of living is likely to not jive with hers in the beginning. It’s going to take a lot of effort do not annoy the hell out of each other when you first start dating!
Dating in Japan is nothing like you’ve experienced at home…
If you want more information, I highly recommend reading my guide on what NOT to do when dating Japanese and Korean women.
All of the things that surprised me about dating Japanese girls
Prior to 2005, I have never once had a close relationship with anybody from Japan (man or woman). It wasn’t until I created an account on JapanCupid (just to try my luck) that I found how fun and easy it was to date women from a different culture other than my own.
It was most definitely a learning experience as well, and didn’t take long until I realized the following:
- Japanese girls don’t like super-aggressive guys. I had very little luck meeting Japanese girls online by taking a bold initiative to reach out to them and introduce myself. I quickly learned that the best tactic is to simply sit back and let them come to me.
- Most Japanese girls can speak English very well. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t make an effort to speak some Japanese however. Having the ability to speak just a little bit of Japanese will go a very long way to getting her to like you. Even just showing her effort is often good enough. You don’t have to become completely fluent in Japanese, but it will certainly help your chances.
- Unlike some women from other Asian cultures, Japanese women don’t seem as clingy and desperate to find marriage. When it comes right down to it, this may be one of the most important thing to expect when dating Japanese girls. Just because they’re talking to you doesn’t mean they’re looking for a way out of their country and into yours. Most Japanese girls, in my experience, are just looking for a friendship first. Friendship which might eventually lead to marriage…
- It’s easy to tell if a Japanese woman likes you. Well, compared to western woman that is. They tend to be very clear in their intentions.
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The most important thing you can expect when dating women from Japan is…
No matter how charismatic you are, she will absolutely lose interest of you if you portray yourself as a player who is just looking to get her into bed. Japanese girls have much higher respect for themselves than girls from other cultures do. It’s probably the worst place to go looking for sex if that’s what you’re into.
If you take things slow and enjoy the process, it’s likely to be a very fulfilling experience. And then, if things go really well, you can start asking yourself another question: what is it like to marry a Japanese girl?
Doug
My name is Doug, and I'm an ordinary white guy living in the US. 10 years ago I married a Japanese woman that I met online, and it's been an adventure to say the least! I started AsiaGraphix.com as a way to share all the lessons I've learned about dating (and ultimately marrying) an Asian woman.
Subscribe to my mailing list and I’ll send you a checklist of 15 ultra-clever ways to get her to notice you.
