If I were granted three wishes, one of them (without a doubt) would be being allowed to go back in time to about 2005 or so with the knowledge I have now about meeting Asian women online. I didn’t know anything back then – I was just a typical American white guy in his late 20’s with very little appreciation of Asian culture who just blurted out anything he was feeling in playful sarcastic tones. This doesn’t fly in Japanese and Korean culture.
I absolutely destroyed a few good relationships with Japanese women back then due to my ignorance of their culture. Basically, I was saying the wrong things with the wrong tone of voice, and I didn’t even realize that I was being rude and inconsiderate. What is considered normal behavior here in the US is absolutely not normal in the far east. Live and learn I guess – I just wish I could go back in time and slap myself silly for not taking care to understand the differences between my own culture and theirs. I’ll bet a few of those women still think of me as an inconsiderate asshole.
Not understanding the culture and failure to learn what not to say in certain situations is probably the most important thing that white guys need to know about meeting Asian woman online in chatrooms or on dating sites like JapanCupid or KoreanCupid. But there are a few other really other important things to know:
Japanese women generally wait for the guy to make the first move
“Generally” is the key word here. When I first met my wife online (at JapanCupid), she was actually a lot more aggressive about moving the relationship along than I was expecting. But every other Japanese woman I met before her tended to sit quietly and not say anything affectionate until I said it first. This is very different from US (and western) culture, so don’t be put off if you think she really isn’t into you. Start being a bit affectionate towards her, and see what happens. If she responds in kind, you’re good. If not, it may be time to move in.
You are going to have to travel if you want to meet Asian women online.
I’d wager that this isn’t a problem for most guys, but there are some out there I’m sure can’t stand the thought of sitting on an airplane for 14 hours. My advice? Get over it. If you meet a nice girl somewhere in Asia, you are going to have to visit her every now and then or else the relationship simply isn’t going to work. Travel is a good thing actually – even if your relationship with her doesn’t work out, just having had the experience of diving head first into a new-to-you culture is something you can carry with you for the rest of your life.
You will write a lot trying to meet women from Asia online
If you don’t like writing, I’m afraid that meeting women from the far east online is going to turn into an unpleasant chore really fast. Some women prefer texting. Some prefer email. There are some that even prefer both! But when it comes right down to it, she’s going to want constant contact with you if she’s even remotely interested. Make sure you have the time commitment (and a desire to write) before you make the decision to meet Asian gals online, because if you don’t, you’re likely to revert back to the relative simplicity of meeting women in your local area.