I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of guy friends in my life who have married a Filipina. Going to the Philippines to find a wife is extremely common for men here in the United States, and there are lots of reasons for that (which I will get into shortly). If you are thinking about heading to the Philippines to find love, get ready to take notes. I’m about share what you can expect when marrying a Filipina – and some of it might surprise you.
Although I don’t have personal experience with marrying a woman from the Philippines, I have plenty of guy friends who have. Ironically, they all share the same stories. There’s a lot of overlap between the things that they all tell me as we sit around and talk about guy stuff.
The best way to tell you what I know is to break down the process of marrying a Filipina into several major categories. Why? Well, because as you will read, it’s quite an adventure – through all stages of the marriage.
What to expect when marrying a Filipina (all the stages from initial courting to death and / or divorce)
Was that a depressingly morbid section title or what? I’m just being honest that’s all. You see, marriage is a very serious thing, and when you decide to go through with it, you’re in it for the long-haul. Marriages can only end two ways. It’s either via death or divorce, so it’s important that you’re really ready for it.
What to expect during the initial Courting phase
For many, this is by far the most exciting part of a relationship. Meeting somebody new for the first time is a thrilling and often life-changing experience. Especially if she’s from the Philippines. I’ve already written an in-depth guide outlining all the things you can expect while dating a Filipina, but here are the highlights:
- Asian dating is vastly different than Western dating!
- Filipina women are extremely kind and very giving
- Although most come from very humble backgrounds and not have a lot of money, people from the Philippines have lots to give in terms of love and affection. In that regard, the initial cording phase with a Filipino woman is great.
- Long distance relationships are hard! If you’re in any other part of the world, you can expect that you’re going to be feeling the frustration of separation at some point. Unless you live in the Philippines, you probably won’t be seeing her very often during this time. However, even based on my own personal experience, I’d recommend that you get to know her as best you can even if it’s difficult.
- Don’t let her outpouring of love and affection blind you – make sure you really get to know who she is as a person. Not only that, it’s crucial that you fully understand whether or not she’s really open to move out of her home country to be with you.
What to expect during the process of getting married
When it comes to learning what to expect when marrying a Filipina, many guys recoil in horror once they realize what’s actually involved.
- The process of getting her a visa (to allow her to move to your country) will be extremely difficult. Yes, marriage licenses make the process of obtaining visas much easier, but it still takes a ridiculous amount of time and effort. If you want more information about this, these are the things we learned when applying for my wife’s Green Card. Not only that, there are 3 things to keep in mind once you get married.
- Keep in mind that family is a very important part of Filipino culture, and they will play a big part in the ceremony.
- In terms of the actual marriage ceremony itself, you can expect that her entire family will be there. Not only that, they will also want to be heavily involved in the process. Every single one of my friends who have married a Filipina have told me that it’s just best to go with the flow and let her and her family plan everything.
- Naturally, you can expect that the marriage will take place in the Philippines. It’s just generally easier for her and her entire family.
- The bottom line is: its insanley expensive to marry a Filipina!
Expect a lot of travel back and forth to the Philippines if you decide to go through with the marriage
What to expect in the first one to two years after marriage
For me, marrying a Japanese woman taught me a lot about the merger of two different people with completely different backgrounds and cultures. I’m not going lie. It was really hard. She was stuck in her ways, and I was stuck in mine, and our first year was very rough.
Yes, we love each other very much, but there were a number of times but we both admitted out loud that we didn’t think it was going to work. However, we worked through our issues, and we’re still together after 10 years.
In terms of what to expect when marrying a Filipina:
- She will always be attached to her family and her homeland. Her family will be the biggest part of her life, and she is very likely going to want to support them in any way possible. Whether that be by sending them money, or traveling to visit them often. This will especially be the case in the first stages of the marriage as she transitions to living in your culture.
- Overall, nearly all of my friends have said that their Filipina wives never lost any of their friendliness and generosity in those first two years. Being friendly and giving comes natural to them, and even when things get rough, it’s never likely to get that bad. At least that’s what I’ve heard…
What to expect as the marriage goes on
One of the most interesting things that I’ve been hearing from my friends who has married Filipina women is the fact that they realized that their wives are the friendliest people that they know. However…
- They’ve also all said that women from the Philippines are extremely emotional at times and they believe deeply in standing their ground. There will be arguments. However, disagreements happen in all marriages, so don’t be worried if you feel like that you and your Filipina wife are arguing more than usual. It’s natural.
- Based on my own observations, my friends with Filipina wives generally seem more calm and relaxed. Is that because their wives are friendlier and more giving? Honestly, I don’t know. As I said, it’s just an observation.
What to expect in the later years
- One of the issues with marrying a woman from a different country is the fact that she will eventually miss her homeland. It’s inevitable. Imagine if you left the United States (or Europe or wherever you’re from) and you went to live in Asia for 20 to 30 years. Don’t you think that you’d develop feelings of homesickness and want to return home after a while? I know I would, and as a matter fact, my Japanese wife is having the same thoughts at the moment.
- Even if she doesn’t want to return to the Philippines full time, know that she is likely going to want to spend more time there to be with elderly family.
Final thoughts
Marrying a Filipina is going to be incredible experience – no matter what. The key to making it work is to stay open-minded and understand that just as in all marriages, there is give-and-take.
She’s willing to give up her Filipino culture to be with you, so the least you can do is to try to adapt to and accept her culture. Have sympathy for the fact that she will be completely uprooting her life to be with you.
If you know what to expect before going into the marriage, chances are better that it’s going to work out in the long run. Good luck and Godspeed!
Doug
Doug is just an ordinary white guy living in the midwestern United States. He's been married to an amazing Japanese woman since 2010, and has created AsiaGraphix.com to share his experiences with international dating and marriage (the good and the bad),
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